Vicky Pollard C.V. - FTAO Sade

[Fred Elliot]

Resumé OF Vicky Pollard

 



ADDRESS:    Dur – I live with my mum – init!
TELEPHONE:     Yeah right, I aint givin' you my number!    
EMAIL:      yeh_but_no_but_yeh_but@hotmail.com


ACADEMIC QUALIFICATIONS   

Yeah but, no but, yeah but, what it was right, I sat next to Kelly Smith and she totally copied off me cos I told everyone about her wanking off Kevin smith outside McDonalds but Mrs Dodson like TOTALLY busted ME for it and said I was cheating and OH MY GOD I so cant believe she did that cos anyway everyone knows she’s a lezzer.

EXPERIENCE

1996          Pregnant
1997         Pregnant again
1998         Pregnant again
1999         Pregnant again

2000      South London young offenders institute

Yeh but, no but, yeh but, no but, what it was right, I never done nothin’ right but Sharon Gordon said I stole that money from Mr Jackson wallet but I never did it right and anyway it was only 20 quid so she’s a slag and she just hates me cos I told everyone about that time when she shat herself on the bus on that school trip to Blackpool

2001         McDonalds

Responsibilities
   Serving Burgers and fries and that
Achievements
   Ate 12 Big Macs a day

I never spat in them burgers - they was well out of order for firing me that is so unfair! This is like, well sexual harassment! God, this is exactly like the time Miss Rennig, who everyone knows is a total lesbian, made Candice Burton stay behind after PE, started telling her off for gobbing on Sunita Geschwani's hair. But everyone knows she only made her stay late because she wanted to get off with her, cuz when she was telling her off her legs were wide open and Candice reckons she could see her spider.

2002         Pregnant again
2003         Burger King

Responsibilities
   Serving Burgers and fries and that
Achievements
   Ate 13 Whoppers a day - Stop giving me evils!
   I never put tampons in the burgers - they was well out of order for firing me

2004      South London young offenders institute again

What it was right, I never done nothin’ right but Pauline Jackson said I put tampons in the burgers but I never did and anyway it was only that one time and Kevin Hops TOTALLY deserved it right cos he told everyone that I got fingered by Wayne Daniels outside wimpy but anyway he didn’t even finger me he stuck it up my arse hole and he’s just jealous cos everyone knows he’s a puff

2005         On Welfare

2006      South London young offenders institute again

Yeh but, no but, what it was right, I never done nothin’ right but Tara Watson said I nicked her stereo right but I never nicked nuthin right and anyway it was only some shitty AKAI so she’s a slag and she just hates me cos she’s a lezzer and I told everyone about that time when she got fishy fingered by Kelly smith behind the Little Chef in Brixton and anyway don't listen to her coz everyone knows her fanny goes sideways.

[Sade]

Hahaha!

 Thats like sweet as mate    As long as you don't really think I'm like her.

[Fred Elliot]

Never !!!!

[SwindonStevo]

class  

[Sade]

This is like, well sexual harrassment.

[Fred Elliot]

"Everyone knows her fanny goes sideways"

 

[Sade]

but I never did it right and anyway it was only 20 quid so she’s a slag and she just hates me cos I told everyone about that time when she shat herself on the bus on that school trip to Blackpool

Lick my Arse Orifice - thats my favourite bit        

[Fred Elliot]

But everyone knows she only made her stay late because she wanted to get off with her, cuz when she was telling her off her legs were wide open and Candice reckons she could see her spider.


 :shock:  :shock:

[Sade]

and Kevin Hops TOTALLY deserved it right cos he told everyone that I got fingered by Wayne Daniels outside wimpy but anyway he didn’t even finger me he stuck it up my arse hole and he’s just jealous cos everyone knows he’s a puff
     

[Onion_Jimbo]

am i being overly negative by saying Vicky Pollard is the least funny shit thing ever?

[Foggy]

Yes

[reeves4england]

Resumé OF Sadieo





ADDRESS: Dur – I live with my mum – init!
TELEPHONE: Yeah right, I aint givin' you my number!
EMAIL: best not give u that, Sade mite eat me!


ACADEMIC QUALIFICATIONS

Yeah but, no but, yeah but, what it was right, I sat next to Lady and she totally posted a load of shit pretending to be me cos I told everyone about her wanking off R4K outside McDonalds but Whits like TOTALLY busted ME for it and said I was cheating and OH MY GOD I so cant believe she did that cos anyway everyone knows she’s a lezzer.

EXPERIENCE

1996 Pregnant
1997 Pregnant again
1998 Pregnant again
1999 Pregnant again

2000 Westbury young offenders institute - 5th wing

Yeh but, no but, yeh but, no but, what it was right, I never done nothin’ right but DV85 said I stole that money from Whits' wallet but I never did it right and anyway it was only 20 quid so he's a slag and he just hates me cos I told everyone about that time when he shat herself on the minibus to City

2001 McDonalds

Responsibilities
 Serving Burgers and fries and that
Achievements
 Ate 12 Big Macs a day

I never spat in them burgers - they was well out of order for firing me that is so unfair! This is like, well sexual harassment! God, this is exactly like the time my Mum, who everyone knows is a total lesbian, made my sister go to her room and started telling her off for gobbing on the floor. But everyone knows she only did it because she wanted to get off with her, cuz when she was telling her off her legs were wide open and my sis reckons she could see her spider.

2002 Pregnant again
2003 Burger King

Responsibilities
 Serving Burgers and fries and that
Achievements
 Ate 13 Whoppers a day - Stop giving me evils!
 I never put tampons in the burgers - they was well out of order for firing me

2004 Westbury young offenders institute again

What it was right, I never done nothin’ right but Yeovil said I put tampons in the burgers but I never did and anyway it was only that one time and DMR TOTALLY deserved it right cos he told everyone that I got fingered by Johno outside wimpy but anyway he didn’t even finger me he stuck it up my arse hole and he’s just jealous cos everyone knows he’s a puff

2005 On Welfare

2006 Westbury young offenders institute again

Yeh but, no but, what it was right, I never done nothin’ right but Ralphy said I nicked her stereo right but I never nicked nuthin right and anyway it was only some shitty AKAI so he's a cunt and he just hates me cos I'm a lezzer and I told everyone about that time when he fishy fingered me behind the Little Chef in Brixton and anyway don't listen to him coz everyone knows his cock goes sideways.

[Sade]

 That made me laugh alot R4E. Nice one.