Croatia: A cavalcade of wood givers

[kerry red]

After discussions with female French manager Helena Costa, Croatian manager Audrey says:

'I have enjoyed working under Helena but now is the time for me to go solo. She has given me plenty of advice on how to enjoy myself whilst still achieving my aim of winning the Stunners World Cup..

Collectively we have put 2 fingers up to the establishment and I look forward to getting extremely wet when we lift the cup, although it does seem a bit of a waste of good champagne.

The squad is coming along nicely with a veritable bevvy of beauties lined up'.

[kerry red]

In further developments today, Croatian manager Audrey whilst searching for more talent accidentally stumbled on a site Pornhub. Audrey commented:

'It was certainly a sticky moment when I discovered that Brazilians didn't only apply to ladies actually from that country. I was shocked but managed to see out my scouting mission single handedly.

'It was very emotional and I had turn repeatedly to my man-size tissues. Mrs Audrey offered to lend a hand but it was something I felt I had to do by myself'.

Audrey also stated that, if unsuccessful in the Stunners World Cup, he would be aiming to enter the European Innuendo Cup

[Talk Talk]

What a load of wank.

[kerry red]

Finding it difficult at the moment as my eyesight is beginning to fail.

My palms are hirsute