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The Xmas Joke.
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Topic: The Xmas Joke. (Read 887 times)
leefer
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Posts: 12851
The Xmas Joke.
«
on:
Thursday, December 23, 2010, 23:08:16 »
The Irish police authorities spent a week investigating a mass grave of dead snowmen.
It was finally discovered to be a field full of carrots
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Saxondale
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Posts: 6497
Re: The Xmas Joke.
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Reply #1 on:
Thursday, December 23, 2010, 23:34:10 »
Just got cut up by a council snowplough... "You bastard!" I shouted, through gritted teeth.
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Never knowingly overstated.
Simon Pieman
Original Wanker
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Posts: 36336
Re: The Xmas Joke.
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Reply #2 on:
Thursday, December 23, 2010, 23:37:03 »
Quote from: gk_nash on Thursday, December 23, 2010, 23:34:10
Just got cut up by a council snowplough... "You bastard!" I shouted, through gritted teeth.
Quite an insalt
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jutty274
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Posts: 1863
Re: The Xmas Joke.
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Reply #3 on:
Friday, December 24, 2010, 10:03:07 »
I got sacked from my job at the Salvation Army soup kitchen last night.
All i said was" hurry up some of us have got homes to go to".
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Bosey
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Posts: 357
Re: The Xmas Joke.
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Reply #4 on:
Friday, December 24, 2010, 10:54:26 »
One particular Christmas season a long time ago, Santa was getting ready for his annual trip ... but there were problems everywhere. Four of his elves got sick, and the trainee elves did not produce the toys as fast as the regular ones so Santa was beginning to feel the pressure of being behind schedule.
Then Mrs. Claus told Santa that her mother was coming to visit. This stressed Santa even more.
When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth and two had jumped the fence and were out, heaven knows where. More stress.
Then when he began to load the sleigh one of the boards cracked and the toy bag fell to the ground and scattered the toys.
So, frustrated, Santa went into the house for a cup of coffee and a shot of whiskey. When he went to the cupboard, he discovered that the elves had hidden the liquor and there was nothing to drink. In his frustration, he accidentally dropped the coffee pot and it broke into hundreds of little pieces all over the kitchen floor. He went to get the broom and found that mice had eaten the straw it was made from.
Just then the doorbell rang and Santa cursed on his way to the door. He opened the door and there was a little angel with a great big Christmas tree.
All radiant and smiling; the angel said, very cheerfully, "Merry Christmas Santa. Isn't it just a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Isn't it just a lovely tree? Where would you like me to stick it?"
Thus began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas tree.
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