My big fat gay holiday problem

[Arriba]

i had a knife pulled on me in fuengirola.

[Barry Scott]

By a Brit or a Spaniard? (That's a stupid question isn't it?)

[Arriba]

spaniard.

[Barry Scott]

See i knew it was a stupid question. Those cunty Spaniards drink too much and always end up trying to stab someone up when there's no bulls around.

[mexico red]

Thats a local derby, andulcian pride and all that, bit like us v the slave traders, you might want to pop in the day before to get a ticket.

[One F In Fitton]

Malaga have only just finished refurbing their stadium too so it should be all shiny and the bogs shouldn't have too much piss all over the floors from blokes with pepper-pot bell-ends, as opposed to the more conventional salt dispenser-type helmets (which I've got).
Also you will hear plenty of English/British accents because Malaga are well known for having a fair few ex-pat Brit season-ticket holders/members.
And Sevilla fans are amongst the most passionate in Spain, should be a good atmos.
Look out for Sevilla's winger/midfielder called Jesus Navas, he's short and skinny and fucking brilliant. Vicente Del Bosque wants to take him to South Africa but it's touch & go because he has a fear of flying.
All things considered, a good fixture to be there for.

[One F In Fitton]

........oh and if you're a smoker, you can still puff away in Spanish stadia. But if you're not........then........erm.......you might have some cunt blowing smoke in your face all through the game.

[mexico red]

last time i went to see malaga the smell of weed was fucking overpowering and lush

[Reg Smeeton]

 I spent a bit of time in Malaga many moons ago...in fact just after the death of Franco. Don't remember a whole lot about it....which may have had something to do with the overpowering smell of weed.....