Listening to my Hot Chocolate
album today this record below got me thinking back to all those moons ago.
Gertrude was my first love...or so i thought,Dirty Gerty as she was known was a funny girl looking back,the dirty was on account of the black under her fingernails...thought it was nail varnish at first...told me it was because of the years of cleaning the pigs out on her fathers small-holding.
Any way she made it very clear that untill i got some flash wheels nought was going to happen in the amour stakes...also she told me that she liked a man to sing softly in her ear as well.....well i was into the early days of punk then so i had to think on my feet.
Anyway i should have seen the danger signs after catching a glimpse of her ingrowing belly button with I HATE MEN tattooed around it..but you know what its like when your young and hormonal.
The flash wheels were finally in place and the Hot Chocolate Cassette was in...Cassettes were flash then,the new big thing.
I parked it in the car park and me and Dirty went to the picture's...Jaws i think which was fairly apt.
The film started and my hands were soon sticky...and dirty had a big grin on her face...fuck me she liked that Butterkist.
Call me naive..i was then but i thought she was looking for my wallet in me front pockets and kept pushing the old octopus away....then it happened...i showed her the car,and she starting crying tears of joy...or so i thought at the time...we clambered in and the drama started.....the dice was shaking and i was the fly in the spiders web..trapped and shaking..i turned on the cassette and the record started....Heaven in the back seat of my Cadillac,let me take you there..yeah yeah!
Sadly for Gerty just as i was singing the song in her ear a face appeared at the window which made me screach YEAH! YEAH! at the top of my voice straight into poor Gerty's left ear.....poor girl went white and her ingrowing belly button popped out revealing the tattooed words of lick me on it ....both her eyes bulged wildly which was suprising because i found out a while later one of poor Gerty's eyes was glass...always thought she had a strong glint in her eye.
The last time i saw Gerty was at the hospital ear and eye department....YEAH! YEAH! had perforated her ear drum and she told me to fuck off...which i gladly did.
Think she must have told her brothers because next day all three tyres on me brand new Robin Reliant were punctured.
So i tend to skip this one on the album.
