|
magic8ball
|
 |
« on: Monday, May 15, 2006, 13:36:32 » |
|
THE PERFECT DAY - FOR HER
8.15 Wake up to hugs and kisses.
8.30 Weigh in 2Kg lighter than yesterday.
8.45 Breakfast in bed, freshly squeezed orange juice and croissants - open
presents - expensive jewellery chosen by thoughtful partner.
9.15 Soothing hot bath with frangipani bath oil.
10.00 Light work out at club with handsome funny personal.
10.30 Facial, manicure, shampoo, condition, blow dry.
12.00 Lunch with best friend at fashionable outdoor cafe.
12.45 Catch sight of husband/boyfriend's ex and notices she has gained
17kg.
1.00 Shopping with friends, unlimited credit.
3.00 Nap.
4.00 Three dozen roses delivered by florist, card is from secret
admirer.
4.15 Light work out at club, followed by massage from strong but
gentle
hunk, who says he rarely gets to work on such a perfect body.
5.30 Choose outfit from expensive designer wardrobe, parade before full length mirror.
7.30 Candle lit dinner for two followed by dancing, with compliments received from other diners/dancers.
10.00 Hot shower (alone).
10:50 Carried to bed. (Freshly ironed, crisp, new, white linen).
11.00 Pillow talk, light touching and cuddling.
11.15 Fall asleep in his big strong arms.
THE PERFECT DAY - FOR HIM
6.00 Alarm.
6.15 Blow job.
6.30 Massive satisfying dump while reading the sports section.
7.00 Breakfast: rump steak and eggs, coffee and toast, all cooked by naked, buxom wench who bends over a lot showing her growler
7.30 Limo arrives.
7.45 Several Beers en-route to airport.
9.15 Flight in personal Lear Jet.
9.30 Limo to Mirage Resort Golf Club (blow job en-route).
9.45 Play front nine - 2 under.11.45 Lunch - Pie, chips and gravy, 3
lagers and a bottle of Dom Perignon.
12.15 Blow job.
12.30 Play back nine - 4 under.
2.15 Limo back to the airport (Several Bourbons).
2.30 Fly to Cairns.
3.30 Late afternoon fishing excursion with all female crew, all nude
who also bend over a lot displaying growlers.
4.30 Land world record Marlin (1234lbs) - on light tackle.
5.00 Fly home, massage and hand job by naked Elle McPherson (bending over naturally).
6.45 Shit, Shower, and Shave.
7.00 Watch news: Michael Jackson assassinated; cannabis legalised.
7.30 Dinner: lobster appetisers, Dom Perignon (1953), big juicy fillet steak followed by Ice-cream served on a big pair of tits.
9.00 Napoleon Brandy and Habanos cigar in front of wall-size TV as you watch match of the day; Liverpool beating Man United by 3 own goals
from Van Horsehead.
9.30 Sex with three women (all with lesbian tendencies... some bending over).
11.00 Massage and Jacuzzi with tasty pizza snacks and cleansing ale.
11.30 A night cap blow job.
11.45 In bed alone.
11.50 A 22 second fart which changes note 4 times and forces the dog to leave the room.
11.51 Laugh yourself to sleep
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
ibelieveinmrreeves
Should've gone to Specsavers
 Offline
Posts: 3857
|
|
« Reply #1 on: Monday, May 15, 2006, 14:44:40 » |
|
11.50 A 22 second fart which changes note 4 times and forces the dog to leave the room.
11.51 Laugh yourself to sleep
 |
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
Even men with steel hearts love to see a dog on the pitch.
|
|
|
STFCBird
Ralphy's Wet Dream
Offline
Posts: 10673
C U Next Tuesday!
|
|
« Reply #2 on: Monday, May 15, 2006, 14:48:10 » |
|
Why do men laugh at their own farts?
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
red macca
|
|
« Reply #3 on: Monday, May 15, 2006, 14:51:40 » |
|
Why do men laugh at their own farts? 2 reasons why. 1)because it pisses you ladies off.. 2) its quite obvious...ITS FUNNY |
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
STFCBird
Ralphy's Wet Dream
Offline
Posts: 10673
C U Next Tuesday!
|
|
« Reply #4 on: Monday, May 15, 2006, 14:54:15 » |
|
Why do men laugh at their own farts? 2 reasons why. 1)because it pisses you ladies off.. 2) its quite obvious...ITS FUNNY 1) only pisses me off if bed covers are wafted afterwards 2) sometimes I do chuckle |
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
red macca
|
|
« Reply #5 on: Monday, May 15, 2006, 14:55:37 » |
|
Why do men laugh at their own farts? 2 reasons why. 1)because it pisses you ladies off.. 2) its quite obvious...ITS FUNNY 1) only pisses me off if bed covers are wafted afterwards 2) sometimes I do chuckle the covers have to be wafted ..its the rules |
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
STFCBird
Ralphy's Wet Dream
Offline
Posts: 10673
C U Next Tuesday!
|
|
« Reply #6 on: Monday, May 15, 2006, 14:57:13 » |
|
well the rules suck
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
Sade
Offline
Posts: 6427
|
|
« Reply #7 on: Monday, May 15, 2006, 15:07:18 » |
|
'only pisses me off if bed covers are wafted afterwards' |
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
RED ARMY
|
|
|
pumbaa
Ha, no cunt in my title anymore. Oh.....
Offline
Posts: 6351
Fartmeister
|
|
« Reply #8 on: Monday, May 15, 2006, 15:18:48 » |
|
Excellent work |
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
Ben Wah Balls
Offline
Posts: 5972
|
|
« Reply #9 on: Monday, May 15, 2006, 15:46:09 » |
|
I've seen this before and no perfect day of mine involves waking up at 6 am.
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
Amir
|
|
« Reply #10 on: Monday, May 15, 2006, 16:20:17 » |
|
I've seen this before and no perfect day of mine involves waking up at 6 am. Quite. And what is all this about... 11.00 Pillow talk, light touching and cuddling.
11.15 Fall asleep in his big strong arms. Because women prefer that to sex  |
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
STFCBird
Ralphy's Wet Dream
Offline
Posts: 10673
C U Next Tuesday!
|
|
« Reply #11 on: Monday, May 15, 2006, 16:21:48 » |
|
I prefer the sex myself
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
red macca
|
|
« Reply #12 on: Monday, May 15, 2006, 16:48:22 » |
|
I prefer the sex myself dirty bitch |
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
