Understanding Women

[pumbaa]

A biker was riding along a California beach when suddenly the sky clouded above his head and, in a booming voice, the Lord said, "Because you have been faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish."

The biker pulled over and said, "Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can ride over anytime I want."

The Lord said, "Your request is materialistic. Think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking. The supports required to reach the bottom of the Pacific! The concrete and steel it would take! It will nearly exhaust several natural resources. I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time and think of something that would honor and glorify me."

The biker thought about it for a long time. Finally he said, "Lord, I wish that I could understand my wife. I want to know how she feels inside, what she's thinking when she gives me the silent treatment, why she cries, what she means when she says nothing's wrong, and how I can make a woman truly happy."

The Lord replied, "You want two lanes or four on that bridge?"

 :roll:

[pumbaa]

Women as explained by Engineers

[url]http://img236.imageshack.us/img236/1680/image0019vi.jpg[/URL]

[url]http://img236.imageshack.us/img236/4098/image0026uf.gif[/URL]

[url]http://img358.imageshack.us/img358/3389/image0039ze.gif[/URL]

[url]http://img209.imageshack.us/img209/5969/image0041wn.jpg[/URL]

Being an engineer, I can verify that all the above are true. Fact.
[url]http://img209.imageshack.us/img209/5086/image0052qg.gif[/URL]

[my-velocity]

[pumbaa]

Tax Time

A woman walks into her accountant's office and tells him that she needs to file her taxes.
 
The accountant says: "Before we begin, I'll need to ask you a few questions." He gets her name, address, social security number, etc, and then asks, "what is your occupation?"
 
"I'm a whore," she says.
 
"No, No, No, that won't work. That's illegal. Let's try to rephrase that."
 
The woman says, "OK, I'm a high-end call girl."
 
"No, that's not okay. Try again."
 
They both think for a minute,then the woman says, "I'm an elite chicken farmer."
 
The accountant asks, "What does chicken farming have to do with being a whore/call girl?"
 
"Well, I raised over a thousand little peckers last year."
 
"Good enough."

 

[Piemonte]

graphs are great

[pumbaa]

I've just realised I must apologise for the last picture. It should of course say jeans (or trousers). Fucking Americans bastardising the Oxford  :twisted: English Dictionary !

I couldn't be arsed to change it.

[Iffy's Onion Bhaji]