Thetownend.com

Following through, from Aud's faux pas question.

Where is the most interesting place you've taken a crap? Can be extended to, most interesting receptacle/orifice you've curled one out, if desired? Ideally Scott Twine can't be an answer but the player will likely be discussed.

I'll kick it off...not so interesting but random, for me a pub admitted their toilets were so shitted up that they closed them and installed a PortaPotty...in the beer garden. Class.

Interesting one, at Cabo Girao. The highest sea cliff in Europe.

‘Following through’ - really?

I did a one cheek sneak in a pub once and followed through. I went to the bogs, cleaned up and stuffed my undercrackers in the cistern.

Couldn't resist and I knew you'd have an "experience" to share  :pint:

Eco campsite in Devon a few years ago. You had to pee in the sink and wash it down with a jug of water from the tap and crap into what was ostensibly a potato sack suspended under a makeshift dunny and throw a couple of handfuls of sawdust on top. The piss drained away into a man made reed bed with limestone and stuff to neutralise the acidity and the potato sacks were composted. Had a piss with with a long drop from one of the many monasteries at Meteora. Which was where the concluding footage of For Your Eyes Only was filmed.

Off the back of a speedboat at sea was a tricky one.

Done one on a small boat but never off. Did you go for the "Gimbal" effect to keep yourself steady?

Anyhow, +10  ;D

My mate did that from a fishing boat off Weymouth, a few of us had been on the lash the night before. Two of us had to hold an arm each so he didn't end up in the Channel  :(

For me, on a lawn at a house party. Bogs were occupied, I blamed the dog  :)

Hope nobody was downwind of that!

I thought I was the only one that has done this

Was it your lawn? Would be golden if it was the "Weymouth" mate's lawn  :)

Not mine, not his either

 There is an interesting dump story in TEF history.... if scatology is your thing, take a bit of beating.  :)  PS it's not my thing

I followed through at work couple years back, had dodgy guts so I should have known better than to attempt a cheeky fart. 

Left dirty pants in the bog and went commando for rest of the day, felt sorry for the cleaner who discovered the soiled garment

I’m guessing there must be someone on here who has participated in a Cleveland Streamer?

Thankfully it’s not something I’ve ever been requested to do

I know I speak for myself but with the amount of shit spoken on  here, I knew it would potentially be a shit :)

I bet there weren't any sharks circling😁

I went on a Wroughton pub crawl years ago with my brother. We started at the Fox and Hounds at the top at lunchtime and worked our way down.

We got to the Brown Jack (funnily enough), he farted and followed through. I laughed so hard for ages. He put it down to the dodgy cider we had in the pub previously.

Then, on to the Wroughton, I farted....and followed through. The first and only time i've ever shat myself. I took my boxers off in the toilets and lobbed them out of the window.

Definitely the dodgy cider :)

Wandsworth county court

Following through in a wetsuit whilst surfing on a stag do the morning after the big night out - oh and it wasn't my wetsuit.  I'd hired it from the surfshack.

On a rocky shore up around Stoer Point, northwest Scotland.
Just finished up as a family were heading directly towards the scene of the crime. A cheery wave, good morning and a rapid exit.

Spent weeks up there on a geology mapping field trip.
Used to leave the caravan each morning smartly turned out with a pocket square made up of bog roll.
The surrounding land was like a turd graveyard by the time we eventually cleared out of there.

In a bidet. It was my first trip to France, I haven't been allowed back since.

I know you're just waiting for this,  what the hell is a Cleveland Streamer ??.

A boat trip out of Middlesbrough?

On a wet and windy night ?.

Google is your friend. Make sure you do an image search.

Wimbledon Centre Court ... well in the loos there

I bet there were a few young lads who went to Spain & Greece in the 80's and had a crap in a bidet after a night on the booze :pint:

Caught short on the golf course, Isle of Purbeck, long grass at the back of the 3rd green in view of the clubhouse. Got away with that, played in the afternoon and ensured I was short of the green when playing up.

Are you Roger Mellie?  :D

:no:

Many many years ago me and a mate went InterRailing and one night ended up in a small bar somewhere in Northern Spain with a bunch of Irish lads who were great fun. The bar was great but the facilities were basic - the bog was basically a hole in the middle of a tiled section of floor, with two raised sections to stand on, a broom to sweep in anything that didn't flow down the hole and a bog roll on a pole behind you. One of the Irish lads (tbf, drink had been taken) completely misunderstood the whole concept, didn't see the bog roll and came back complaining about having to wipe his arse with a broomstick. A very well used, crusty broomstick.

'One of the Irish lads' eh? ;-)

on a boat in Thailand I was absolutely banging for a shite and found the toilets (by following my nose) which sounds similar to the hole in the floor in Pauld story which was absolutely disgusting. Of course it was a stinky messy affair and the poxy hose just wasn't up to much cleaning wise. I'm sure I'll remember that boat journey for as long as I live!!

Ha ha, yes! :D

You never forget your most challenging dump. Mine was in a snow-strewn Gorky Park, Moscow in February 1986. We were on a student group tour of the Soviet Union, and were all suffering after ten days of boiled cabbage and horse meat. I swear no cleaner had ventured into the brick toilet block since the Germans' retreat in January 1942. In fact, these toilets were probably the main reason for their retreat.

Later on the bus, we sang a new version of Blueberry Hill - "I left my mark, on Gorky Park". Happy days.

Putin would have you poisoned if you done that now :clap:

I know I rarely post but here is my poo story,

It happened about 15 years ago, me and the wife had just got back from holiday, and pretty much gone straight to bed.

About 4 in the morning I get up desperate for a shit, no bog roll anywhere in the house. Not a massive problem as there is ( or was) a 24 hour Tdesco just up the road.
Jump in the motor ( after chucking some clothes on obviously ). Get to Tesco really needing to shit by this point. Customer bogs locked. So I buy my toilet roll, and a few other bits and pieces as I thought it was a bit weird just being bog roll and 4 in the morning.

Jump back in the car it would not start.  So I start walking home, about half way I just can't hold it in anymore so have to go into a wooded area for a shite. I do what I needed to do and feeling very relieved continue home.

It starts to rain and I put my hood up, only to find I had somehow ( still not sure how) shit in the hood of my jacket so now have a practically still steaming poo on my head  :(   

So the most interesting place I have had a dump is on my own head. 

:Ride On Fatbury's Lovestick:

 :Ride On Fatbury's Lovestick: That is a brilliant story

Flammableben esque that is

 :1st:

Whilst we are on the subject of impossible feats of shit.

Nothing interesting about the location, I was at home (well I guess technically my parents home) and I was taking care of business as you do and I had this weird feeling, like I’d been (which I had) but it was still connected to the body part it comes out of. Clenched as you do to cut off any stragglers, nothing - still there.

Confused I stand up and fuck knows how. It’s managed to curl out at such an angle it’s ended up on the toilet seat, hence why it didn’t drop. I just look in bemusement as even after I’ve stood up it’s still perched on the toilet seat.

How the hell thats even remotely physically possible I don’t still don’t know.

Ah the good old clench.

Got callled out a few times mid-shit whilst working at the fire station. Always interesting, was like russian roulette

I've still not got over some people squat over rather than sit on the toilet seat.

Isn't squatting an Asian thing and who would sit on a dirty toilet without paper on it😁

Shitbreak?!

When I was in the RAF I got up one morning to go for a shave and shower and somebody has done a full clear out in the sink.

Did you still manage to wash your face😁

I remember one of the staff had to break up someone's log so it would flush. I made the mistake of taking a look as I didn't believe him. It was like the Hindenburg. How anyone got that out I don't know.

we had rubbish flush on our toilets in the old office.

walked in one day to frantic continual attempted flushing and "die poo die" being repeated over and over

 :)

https://youtu.be/NwcVJMvVWDA

Not me but something that happened whilst at my old job. We were building a new office and i was working on some IT stuff when the MD turned up with our Japanese owners and members of the board to give them a tour of the facility.
This was still a building site and in no way resembled a functioning office yet an hour or so later the plumbers came in to finish one of the bathrooms to find a massive shit in one of the toilets.
Bare in mind the bathroom was just 3 bogs barley plumed in, no cubical walls or doors or anything.

Obviously we didn't see it, but we're 99.9% sure it was one of the Japanese visitors.  

Have you noticed how many of the posts in this thread claim “it wasn’t me” or something similar.  I think we need a TEF lie detector system.  That’ll flush ‘em out! :D
We don’t need a shit detector - we can all do that.

You will sometimes see signs like this in public facilities in Thailand.

(https://i.imgur.com/tZzomhC.png)

Country folk sometimes come to the city and have never seen a 'Western' toilet before. You will occasionally find footprints where you would not usually expect to find footprints.

*Sorry for the massive image, but also, fuck it.

Don't forget in some third world countries they crap in a whole in the ground

We have a winner :Ride On Fatbury's Lovestick: just superb

I think if there was a prize for this topic, your story would win. Not only getting caught at Leg Slip but the incredible feat of ending up with a very interesting brand of hair ointment  :pint:

 :moon:

..

https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=7&v=jwuw6Z33018&feature=emb_title

Brilliant. Thanks FH, I laughed so hard I nearly shit myself  ;)

atleast they are not encouraging upper deckers.

The top of Table Mountain. Well, the visitor centre anyway.

Got caught short after 5 day's on a diet of Castle Lager and dodgy "through the railings" cheap hotdogs at the Cape Town test match.

Only just made it to the bog and after the evacuation, realized there was no bog roll and had to cut the pockets out of my shorts. Not the first time I've had to ruin a perfectly good pair of shorts.

The flight home wasn't much fun either, had to ask for an aisle seat.

That reminds me of when my mate nearly got thrown out of a Bognor Regis nightclub, because a bouncer looked under his cubicle door and thought he was taking drugs out of his socks, when he was actually taking them off to wipe his arse due to no bog roll. He let him back in saying, "no one would make that up".

 :clap: :clap:

😉


That stool, stumps my Cabo Girao one  :pint:

I've had a shit over Greenland, at 40,000 feet.

It must have been frozen like a rock when it landed and I bet your crack had frostbite😁