Thetownend.com

Passed away yesterday...went round to his flat with my niece and the poor feller had gone....it looked a peacefull end though it was a shock to me of course and indeed my poor niece...her Grandad.

I only knew my dad the last twenty years of his life...he was 79 and the first few years of getting to know him were tough...a lot of anger and bitterness on my part at first.
He came from Hampshire and was a mad Saints fan all his life...he was on there books  for two years in the late 50,s and played for Eastleigh for many years later as a keeper....indeed i have a Brockenhurst program with him getting star billing for helping Scholing(now Eastleigh)grab a point....now a treasured momento.

Me and my sister tracked him down after leaving care and his family in Hampshire were incredibly welcoming to us even after all those years....they still are and i got to meet his mum ...my nan who was 97 then and the oldest of 12!
She was a lovely lady though it caused me great sadness that i hadn't had her love as a nipper
Dad had a brother Maurice who was six years older and a Tank commander at the age of 19 in WW2....a brave man whos actions caused him great regret in later years...war left a nasty scar on his being.
Eunice was the sister who was gentle and sweet...and even through dads bad times always stood by him....it was her who opened the door twenty years back to see my ugly mug am my sisters shaking body looking back at her.....i believe my dad lives here i said.....suffice to say she went white with shock before a smile met me.....come in she said....i have been waiting for this day.
Not suprisingly dads reaction was tinged with some Anglo Saxon when an hour later he opened the same door and saw us sitting there :D
When sadly both Maurice and Eunice passed away dad moved to Swindon...where he spent his last 18 odd years

As the years rolled on we began to get on.....he became a Town fan to a degree though his heart was always with the Saints.....he loved Fotheringham and was adamant a decent keeper would have got us promotion under Wilson....his words not mine!

The last few years of his life were tough for him...and us as we saw him deteriate....emphysemia clawed at him like a wasp to a jam pot.....he fought his illness with a bravery i thought Alien to him....never whinging and accepting his lot.
I will always have a lot of questions not answered but you know what.......i dont care anymore.
His life i reckon was unfullfilled ....to him at least,he made many mistakes that caused anger and resentment to people including myself.
This caused him great heartache in later years and made him very introvert.
I will miss him.......and all i can say today is i am numb with sadness that i wont see him again....i got to love my dad though it took a real long time.

When the Saints go marching in was his favourite....it will be his last song.....though no doubt the word Saints  will be Reds under my breath for his last song.....he would have smiled at that.

Sorry for your loss leefer. Glad you got to build a relationship with him though and that will always bring you comfort i'm sure

Sorry for your loss leefer

Sorry for your loss Leefer.

Thanks for sharing the story though. Sounds like you went through a lot of shit in early life but I'm glad you managed to get over the resentment and salvage something of a relationship with your dad. I don't really know mine, he left when I was 3 and I've seen him 5 or 6 times in 35 years since and I think that is that.

The fact you tract you dad down and put thing right (or less wrong) between you is a testament to yourself.

:-(

rip

Sympathies Leefer - glad you got to know him in the end.

My thoughts are with you mate.

My thoughts are with you and your family

Sorry for your loss Leefer.

Cheers everyone...for all your kind comments.

Kind of releases some pressure just writing it down...even on the laptop.

Sorry for your loss, thoughts are with you and your family Leefer.

Sorry to hear this.  My thoughts are with you and your family.

Sorry mate

Very touching. Would bring a tear to a glass eye. There is a resonance with your words that match the life of both myself and my wife. In as much that I no longer speak to my old chap and have no wish to. As for my wife, her father was adopted and it blighted his life to the detriment of her, her brother and her poor mum, who inspite of being Welsh is an absolute diamond.

You can choose your friends but not your family for better or worse as they say.

Be strong mate it's a fucking mean world out there and those around you love you whatever and I'm sure your old chap did too.

Very sorry to read your news, Leefer.

My heart goes out to you, fella.

I guessed as your words went on that you were pouring your heart out over a very emotional and difficult situation.

It was fascinating and sad at the same time to read your account of your dad and your family.

Best wishes to you and yours, Leefer and thanks for sharing it with us.

My condolences to you and your family, Leefer.

Sorry to hear of your loss Lee. I know myself how sharing a few of your feelings will help you at this sad time.
My thoughts are with you and your family.

Beautifully written Leefer
My thoughts are with you
Xx

Well done on being brave enough to tell us your story, condolences to yourself and family, may your dad rest in peace.

So sorry, Leefer.  It is never easy to handle the death of someone close, whatever the relationships that have surrounded him/her; but your story is particularly poignant and in the circumstances, I guess the shock and sense of loss is very great.

Although I don't know you except as a name on TEF, I always enjoy your contributions which are always thoughtful and sensitive (well almost always!), and you are one of those on my list of 'Wouldn't it be great to meet'!  And I think it is so good that, for all the passion and rubbish which is spouted on here day by day, this is till a place that can provide support and friendship at important times, even among virtual strangers.

Go well.

May he rest very peacefully mate, as you know my fatherr passed just over a year ago, its never easy but keep those happy memories, they will stay with you the rest of your life and beyond in his stories.

Coincidentally I only really got to know my father in the last 10 years of his life after he had left my mother when I was a teenager, Emphysema was what got my dad too in the end. Glad he passed peacefully rather than in any pain.

Sorry for your loss, Lee.  And on a footballing note (as this is a football board, nominally at any rate!) I am thinking that it was nice that your Dad was here long enough to see his team promoted back to the top.  RIP.

Sorry to hear of your loss Lee

Sorry to hear that Leefer

Got a lump in my throat reading that. Puts life into perspective and brings home how lucky and unlucky some people are in life. Hats off to ya Leefer

Wow...thank you all so much for all your comments.

Reading every one of them is appreciated.

Been a busy day today with what has to be done when someone passes on....but still working this evening with a delivery to Marble Arch at 11 tonight!

Cheers all you people....my sister read the thread also and was very moved to.

Really sad news Lee. RIP. Condolences to you and your family. Difficult time for everyone concerned

A few beers soon I think

You could see from your post that you wanted to share your memories about your Dad.
I know where you are coming from. Life with my old Man was never great. I loved him and he loved me but we never had that "quality" Father and Son relationship that I would have loved.
I don't hate him for that no way and respected his life for what it was, he was Dad despite that.
I lost him two years ago and it seems like yesterday. I still visit his grave and stand their talking to him about my life, pressures and my 2 boys.
Leefer you will be numb, full of mixed emotions right now. Don't fight em kid just accept every thought that comes your way.
If your up to it, you stand up at his service and tell everyone what you thought of him, that is if you can. If you can't then just think of him........there is no right way to mourn.

God bless you Mate. I don't know you or most on this forum but reading the messages I guess that helps you and the family.
You come across one of those happy go lucky types, the ones that can bring a smile to a room.
Your old Man is looking down on you Mate, now and for ever sharing in your happy smile.

God bless you and the family.

Apologies for not reading your post Leefer, it'd make me blub so I gave it a miss, been very emotional since becoming a dad myself.

RIP to your dad, hope you give him a good send off.

Damn, that's tough Leefer.

Sounds as though life ain't been too kind to you.

Wow!

What a beautifully crafted post.

Really sorry for your loss, both now and in yours and your Dad's earlier life.

I hope you remember to bookmark this thread so that you can look back in years to come at the sheer power of your outpouring of emotion. More than that, your emotions and your memories of him will touch many a stranger, both now and in years to come.

Very sorry to hear this mate, thoughts to you and your family

Always admired your posts Leefer, sometimes funny, sometimes enlightening, occasionally not agreed with - but always genuine, so really sorry to hear about your loss.

My Dad died 15 years ago and we had a bitter sweet relationship so naturally there were regrets on both sides, lost opportunities for Dad and simply loss for me but I have found that the sense of love or having loved is what endures. 

Good that your Dad saw Saints and Town promoted but all the same a really tough time right now so my thoughts are with you

That was the most emotional, touching and yet in some ways uplifting post I think I've ever seen on the TEF.  I don't know you leefer, but what you wrote really struck a chord and I wish you and your family the very best in this most difficult of times.

Oh the TEF for all its bollocks is a humbling fucking place sometimes.

In addition to Leefer's, there are some beautiful, tender, honest and heartlifting pieces in this thread.

Keep your lights shining Leefer, whoever we are, we're here with you.

Dear Leefer,
I am very very sorry to hear about your loss, and thank you for a great post.

My Dad died 11 years ago and the last 5 years of his life I shut him out of mine, it is only in recent years I regret we could not have been friends but that's families.

I'm sure you have a good network of friends and families, but if you need to chat or want to meet for a pint, I'm sure there are many on here who would happily do so, me included.

Sorry for your loss leefer that could't have been easy to come on here and type that.

Condolences to you and the Family.

Wow Leefer - what a sad but meaningful post - I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. Like many others my thoughts are with you, and keep on keeping us entertained with the thoughtful posts you always seem to make.

Sorry to hear your news, Leefer.  You're in my thoughts.

So very sorry Lee

Dad's funeral was today.

Can i say how nice it was to read this thread back....the post was a little self indulgent due to sadness and red wine....i am a little sad today though pleased dad aint suffering any more....oh and after a few jars to celebrate his life i am now at home and the red wine is flowing.

Thankyou all.

Hope it was a good send off mate, thoughts are with you.

Have a few for me Lee

Hope your dad's special day went as well as can be expected

Take care

Hope you feel more at peace now Leefer. The stress and upset I felt leading up to my Dads funeral was horrendous but felt a strange sort of calm immediately afterwards. My thoughts are with you.