Thetownend.com

I have shamelessly stolen this from Brightons North stand chat and i tip my hat to Turienzos lovechild, but going to run our own competition and the winners of each will fight it out to see who is ultimately the hardest motherfucker on the planet.

there will be 8 groups top 2 go through top last 16.

discussion about each creatures attributes will be actively encouraged.

polar bears.

Scott Cuthbert!

Ants
Camel Spiders
Hedgehogs (Because mine fell 5 stories and just got up and walked away)

The Bungle Bungle Bug.

This little fella attacks during the night. The good news for women is that he attacks men only. What he does is climb down the hole in your cock and feeds on the sperm in your scrotum. Don’t think it finishes there though! He then climbs back out and spits it all out on your face. You wake up the next morning with a face like a glazed teacake and you don’t know why or how. You soon find out when you go to the toilet though because you piss fire.

hedgehogs are hard fuckers

Tortoises. (But only if they're the right way up)

Gotta be the Death's-head Hawk-moth. It even has a tattoo of a skull on its head!

[url width=320 height=240]http://ukmoths.org.uk/images/DeathsHeadHawkMothTD.jpg[/url]

But what about its arch enemy, the rolled up newspaper snake?

That's the one from Silence of the Lambs isn't it?

that moth is maing me feel ill

Indeed. However the rolled up newspaper snake requires the assistance of a human host to make its kill - 90% of whom would leave the room screaming at the sight of one of these   :)

What about the Sock Snake? Deadly cheese venom and the ability to hold a meat cleaver in its mouth.

[url width=499 height=500]http://farm1.static.flickr.com/111/292035820_3bcb663a79.jpg[/url]

That's the one. I used to collect moths and spiders (anything that's classed as yucky) and found Death's-head caterpillars in Shrivenham and Lechlade, so they're out there!

The worlds deadliest animal is the mosquito just for the amount of people it has 'killed'.

Mosquitos are sadistic little fucks aren't they? Just going around infecting people with hepatitis and that just for fun.  :eek:

We're after hardest not the deadliest. We want fearless! The kind of animal that would climb Everest wearing nothing but a vest and flip flops. The kind of beast that would take on a million pissed up mosquitoes and not give a fuck about the consequences...

just like Katie Price

Surely a mozzy will try and bite what ever?

exactly, a fucking newspaper can sort out a mosquito, but how useful would it be against say a cheetah?

and danielle lloyd

Coconut Crab.

featured creatures coming up are........

Grizzly bear
collosal squid
beaked seasnake
army ant
jaguar
honey badger
polar bear
bull shark
adder
cassowary
elephant
human
snakehead fish
komodo dragon
darwin beetle
bombadier beetle
asian black bear
cone snail
inland taipan snake
asian giant hornet
swan
cape buffalo
orca
croccodile
dawsons bee
stonefish
hippo
pirannha
black mamba
bird eating spider
blue ringed octopus

mossies didnt even qualify

For me it's between a Crocodile & a Komodo Dragon.
Although Hippo's kill more people than Crocodiles it's cos they are big fat lumbering & bad tempered. I don't think they actually eat people.
Are fish (Sharks) allowed ?
Think I'll go for Komodo Dragon. I mean how evil can you get. They just bite something & then hang around for a few weeks til it dies of blood poisoning

Booo, surprised there's no scorpions either.

Honey Badger - I think my missus had this once.  :D

Tasmanian Devil

Not as bad as some of the creatures in Australia. Oh, ....

the albatros
the penguin
and, obviously, the wolf

I make that 31 KOT - who is the host creature that qualified automatically ?

Polar Bear, has won the north stand chat title 2 years running

My Bulgarian ladyfriend, told me of her hedgehog which fell 5 storeys, from her monolithic,concrete, communist block flat...but was nicked by Roma for dins, before she could get down to retrieve it...Gills fans eh..

actually think im going to transplant polar bears in for humans, we know we are hard and im making the rules up as we go along

right thats the first 4 groups voting finishes monday at 6pm then i will do groups e-h as i cant be arsed to do anymore now.

Remember, it's not neccesarily who would win in a fight between the two, but a contest of who pound for pound, ounce for ounce is harder. There's no set criteria for 'hard' but such factors as aggresiveness, viciousness, willingness to take on all comers, ability to withstand punishment, brute strength must surely factor highly in your considerations.

Scott Cuthbert would take them all.

What about an antelope?

Komodo Vs Cobra is on Zone Horror. It's a tough one to call.

Whe do we get group E?

Oh and well played for doing this KoT, its surprisingly fun.

polar bears must win. cute yet deadly.

gonna fuck you up, yo

[url width=44 height=80]http://www.foreverdelayed.org.uk/forum/customavatars/avatar3736_3.gif[/url]

I'm probably being thick, but why are there 5 creatures in a group ?

There was six but one of them left because it wasnt happy with the direction the group was heading...the Panda left on account of the bassist(Polar Bear) kept giving him black eyes.

these four groups will finish at 6pm monday, The final 4 qualifying groups will be up shortly after that.

Top 2 from each group go through to the the knockout death match final sixteen. Thats when it really heats up.

The knockout should be seeded

-Top Two from each group qualify for the next round

-In the event of a tie, a 15-minute play-off will occur between the two drawing beasts

-the draw for the 2nd round, and subsequent rounds is explained below

SAVAGE SIXTEEN ROUND

SS1- Tiger vs Asian Bear
SS2- Box Jellyfish vs Inland taipan snake
SS3- Crocodile vs Elephant
SS4- Cape Buffalo vs Honey Badger
SS5- Winner Group E vs Runner Up Group F
SS6- Runner Up Group E vs Winner Group F
SS7- Winner Group G vs Runner Up Group H
SS8- Runner Up Group G vs Winner Group H

EVIL EIGHT ROUND

EE1-Winner SS1 vs Winner SS8
EE2-Winner SS2 vs Winner SS7
EE3-Winner SS3 vs Winner SS6
EE4-Winner SS4 vs Winner SS5

FEROCIOUS FOUR ROUND

FF1 Winner EE1 vs Winner EE4
FF2 Winner EE2 vs Winner EE3

ANIMAL BOWL

Winner FF1 vs Winner FF2

But you're still 9 beasts short of a first round.

ive left some in reserve as a surprise

Box Jellyfish.

DINOSAURS!

Extinct creatures don't count.

If they did, then the short-faced bear would be the clear winner....

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Arctodus_simus

12 foot tall !

Paraceratherium

so there is all 8 groups of five in the first round, voting finishes for groups a-d at 6pm monday and groups e-h 6pm tuesday

get voting people

Is someone going to open a book on this. I'm backing the Croc & Komodo Dragon

I'd like to complain about blatant primatism.  How can there be no place for the chimpanzee (capable of ripping off a man's arm) ? or the mighty Gorilla

Also, on different species, no rhinocerous ?

I fancy winning a few quid on this - where can I find the latest odds?

No lion, not one breed of dog, hyena (spelling?), wild boar? i'll shut up now.

does anyone else want to fucking do it then? no? well shut your fucking moaning before i set honey "begbie" badger on you

See, this is the kind of response I should have given to people moaning about the pissing ranking system in the Albums of the Decade thing. I have much to learn.

I did actually think something similar - fair play to you for setting up what is, lets face it, the most interesting and hotly contested debate on the TEF for a long time.  People should appreciate the efforts you've gone to.

On a personal note, I have voted, but not commented, in every group.  I'm a quiet gambler.

yeah fair enough, man points for you. Pound for pound it's got to be that badger, if it's not pound for pound how the fuck would any animal beat an elephant on land in a one on one fight?

 ::)

I am seriously going to buy you one as a bed time play mate.

OK, bit of thread resurrection going on here.  But 'Honey Badgers: Masters of Mayhem' starts in 5 mins on BBC2.

Even the lions shit themselves with these fellas

Pics?

www.youtube.com/watch?v=gPdeWRJ9CMM

Looks like a skunk. It's a tough little git  :)