Thetownend.com

Uni has been fantastic for the first few days, although today has been a bit of a cunt with football trials showing me how bad I really am.  So name two things you suck at really badly to make me feel better.  Mine must be football and pulling.

From now on, I refuse to criticse David Duke anymore.  I'm a central midfielder, but I thought competition would be high so I opted for right back.  Unfortunately, it seemed lots of people had that idea so I ended up playing left back.  My first touch was a pass-back to the keeper, who sliced it to the striker's feet who slotted it home.  Later, the keeper had a nosebleed and ran to near the halfway line, leaving me stranded near the goal-line, with 3 opposing players running at me.  They struck it weakly and the ball rolled over my foot.  3-0, oh fucking dear.

To make matters worse in a later match, with the same fucking goalkeeper he rolled the ball out to me but passed it so fucking short their 100m in 11 second striker flew passed me and scored!  The only consolation was that the standard was extremely high - I was in a team with Brian Howard's best mate.   :|   Apparently he's the biggest pisshead going - I told him what a fat cunt I thought he was, although really I liked him for his semi-cool hair and cheeky skills.

I suck at pulling as I seem to disappear when a girl shows an interest.  It's not like I'm picky or anything - just shy!!  I'm getting a bit of stick for that one this morning!!   :D

I'm crap at being interested at work, and probably even worse at pulling than you.

I'm not very good at living responsibly and being grown up.

I'm was hoping to get into the uni footy team when I go, but I know that I'll have a good day to play well and impress the people who pick the teams.  I was just wondering though, how many teams would they be likely to have? Like A team, B team etc?

In Hull there were three teams, but fear not, the guy who went on to become captain of the firsts wasn't selected at all after trials - just kept turning up to training and eventually they noticed his quality.

So you can turn up to training even if your not in the team?

At Brunel there are four Wednesday teams, two Saturday teams and an inter-house Championship, if you're really shit.  The problem is, over 200 people turned up for the trials today, and only a couple were never-kicked-a-football-before poor.  When you consider these teams are open to students in second and third years who have yet to come back and attend trials, you could say it's a bit competitive.  Out of 200 people today, I would guestimate about 20 will be in the four first teams on a Wednesday.

My only hope is inter-house, but I don't want to feel like a 'tard.  I'm willing to work fucking hard to get into a team, but I have my pride!  Brunel are in the Southern Premier though, and are taking football very seriously.  It's also a sporty uni.  Where are you going Rossi?  I'd go to training voluntarily, but you may have to pay and it's a pride thing!

He did, and I assume many others did, I knew I wasn't good enough, so didn't bother, plus the football teams were all tossers anyhow - a bit like American teen movie jocks.

i am shit at looking after money, and talking to the opposite sex in any way other than 'friends'.

When i was at College i played for the Swindon College first team but then i dropped out.

I'm going to Portsmouth on the 1st October, can't wait!

That's cheating.  I asked you what your shit at.  Don't avoid the question!!

I played in a few intra mural teams, so did quite a few of the guys in the proper teams - so don't be too proud to turn out for a team in these tourneys - at least you get to play semi-competitive football, and probably with people you actually like.

by the way, David Duke's missus is stunning, therefore i make the assumption that he is better at pulling than you also.

Im shit at staying in College, happy now?. :roll:

To be honest it would be easier to find 2 things that im not shit at.

Actually thats a lie, Im shit at everything ive ever done. :(

Dont be too harsh on yourself!, i think you're shit at staying sober.

Im good at getting drunk :?

what a claim to fame that is.

Yeh same as.  Way I'm going I might be listing that as an interest on my CV...   :?

Interesting post this one but I would have to say I am the worst at pulling ever! FACT!

I sometimes trip over the pattern on the crapet at work which I guess makes me shite at walking!

 You're good at being Yeovil Red on the forums.....and the dog speaks highly of you.

I was going to go for football trials but it was £18 to join up so I didn't bother as I thought I'd probably be too lazy to go regularly anyway.

I suck at drawing, there are 4 year olds who can draw better than me.

Give it a couple of weeks and the numbers will be down to nothing once people start weighing up training in nut freezing conditions on a dark Wednesday night in November  compared to 50p a pint of piss in the Student Union.

On the subject of sport, healthy stuff and women at uni anyone else noticed that a high number rapidly become a tad on the porky side?

Fortunately at Chester there were 7 to choose from for every bloke so it didn’t matter to much.

I’m crap at speeling at wiping my knob after sex and putting used condoms in the bin so they fester and turn up six weeks later.

Im crap at being calm and rational and pool.

I am crap at art like Ben Wah.

 You're crap at counting as well because that's 3 things.

The "calm and rational"thing is a package!

 The response was me not being very grown up.

Before anyone else points it out, I'm crap at everything. Especially counting.

Good at being crap,like me.

I'm even crap at being crap.

   I wouldn't go as far as to say that SY  :twisted:

i'm crap with money, and my willpower is crap too.

This thread was supposed to make me feel better!  I'm crap at drawing, with money, being responsible, being calm under pressure, pool and condom disposal.  Fuck me people!!

My problem with pulling is I don't have the guts.  So invariably what has happened a number of times is a girl will come and dance next to me with the mates I'm with, and they'll egg me on, and I'll just look away.  This is when pissed, and being drunk gives me the balls to do anything - even jump off a two-storey roof - but not talk to a girl I don't know.  I need Sussex's advice - I wanna pull a bird who earns 100K a year and plays dirty!

 Its the looking away bit that's letting you down....eye contact is key....look them in the eye with an I'd like to fuck you look and you can't go far wrong.

I'm shit at cricket, but still play and I am also shit at thinking of something else I am really shit at.

I know, I am shit at seeing family - I just can't be fucked

Same as bo, I'm crap at keeping it touch with family. An alcoholic mother in Wales I can't be arsed with, two sisters who live 5 minutes drive away I haven't seen for about a month. It's only my Dad in Chippenham I really visit, and that's only because it's handy due to Swindon games.

I'm also crap at saying no. Read into that what you will  :roll:

Walrus, the pulling thing: This is only from past experiences and I'm sure many will disagree, but the earlier you start drinking - the rougher the bird you'll end up with at the end of the night. Standards dropping through alcohol intake etc...

I've only managed this a couple of times, but don't have a drink until as late as possible - 9.30-10ish (hard I know!). This way the chicks are getting well on their way to pissedville, and by the time you've had a few (about an hour, going by the 20 minutes per pint rule) and are in that tipsy/more chatty state, they're generally more 'appreciative' to some random bloke offering to buy them another drink. Hey presto, a bit of chat and a half decent chick in the bag.

Like I said though, looks easier on paper  :?  :D

How was the dogging then Sussex?  :)

Im shit at that aswell  :mrgreen:

I'm shit at doing stuff properly.  For example currently I speak italian ok, a little bit of japanese and even smaller bit of Swedish.  So instead of plodding on with Italian I got bored and started Japanese, then Swedishj. Now in truth I'm shit at all of them.  Thank fuck for English!!

Also I can play "come as you are" and a couple of chords on my electric guitar, but nothing else.  In short my attention span is fucking crap.  I'm surprised I've managed to stay on this site for so long.

I'm with KinkyTom on the work thing, I just can't be arsed.  I'd love a new better paid job, but I can't can't be arsed.

 :Ride On Fatbury's Lovestick:   Fantastic, an "I'd like to fuck you" look....  Sounds interesting!!  

Sussex - sounds like a plan, but then you're on a pullling nite not a piss-up night, which I find hard to resist!  Plus I don't mind pulling a minger to start with, just gotta get the balls to do it!!

I'm bloody awesome at football, had the game of my life sunday  8)

I'm crap at just about everything else, esp. when it comes to the opposite sex :cry:

I'm crap at keeping in touch with people. My keyboard probably has more willpower than me too.

I'm crap at maths :cry:

Im crap at craping! Im always constipated!

i'm crap at driving with due care and attention and at getting a job