Thetownend.com

I know this is not really a Tuesday lunchtime sort of discussion, however this is the result of a peculiar drunken conversation with the wife the other night, somehow we got onto whether one stands to wipe or just completes the operation reaching round whilst still perched on the throne...... We hold differing opinions over what is 'standard'.

In order to settle the issue I said I would undertake a straw poll.... Discuss......

I don't. I wash properly with a hose thingy, you filthy fuckers.

Do I need to add another voting option?

Sitting down of course. Prevents crushing and smearing of Klingons between cheeks before combat.

If you would, please. Discrimination against the Asian Reds(and possibly the francophiles).

Edited.

Done, apologies for my lack of knowledge of worldwide options.

It's an honourable quest to try to learn one new thing each day. Today you learnt you're a filthy mongrel :D

I am hanging my head in shame, I never thought it would be as complicated as this....  :D

On a connected issue bidet's seem to have almost entirely vanished from the UK plumbing landscape, they were common in all new houses when I was a kid, now nothing! 

sitting down. what kind of freak stands up to wipe. a poo covered freak I suppose.

I've done this straw poll with mates before. It came out pretty much 50/50. Baffled me. I'm a sit downer, just cock the right leg up a little.

We've got one. I think it would be of more use if it was a kettle stand.

After several visits to SE Asia, I'm another convert to the bum gun. As a part-time Airbnb host, I get the delighted smiles from Malaysian etc guests when they see I have one plumbed in  :D

I think the only use ours ever had was for me to play with my toy boats in?

If I moved back to the UK I'd have to get one installed as well... and I'd have to carry a packet of wet-wipes around with me in case I need to offload when not at home.

I don't know, I have someone to do that for me

I do a standing crouch to wipe.
Wet toilet wipes are an absolute must.

How does Captain Hook wipe his ass?


...very carefully

That's awful. Do you dry your arse on the hand towel?  :sherlock:

I became a huge fan of the Thai Bum Gun when I was there.  It was a revelation.  I've never felt completely comfortable using only paper since that time (2003).  Giving yourself a proper wash, with water, is always going to be so much better.

No, with toilet paper.

Doesn't the water jet just blast nuggets down your legs?

Not if you're sat down and aim properly.

Then standing up to wipe the water from the now pristine bottom  :)

Bloody hell this is getting as close as the referendum, the fact that there are alternative options has been a right eye opener - I thought the way I did it was the way everyone did that's 40+ years of assumption gone out the window!

ditto..standing up.. really...

next you'll be saying that you don't do the poor man's bidet - flush while sitting down ;)

Woah woah woah, that's opened a whole new front!

Looking like a win for the standers up then?