Thetownend.com

death to whites
swindon are shight

Crazy I was just about to start writing some rhymes. :shock: Off to a safe start so now I'll begin.

Eh yo it's ben and my rhymes are class
Not shit like that keeper jimmy glass
I gotta a load of 'em and they'll really nice
They'll be ready in a minute like microwave rice

'Cos I got talent like Fjortoft scoring from 30 yards
And I always win on pokerroom playing the cards
So don't throw a strop like gary stanley
If your rhymes can't match mine for being manly

For every rhyme I write I've got 25 spare
If necessary I'll be willing to share
If you don't like 'em I really don't care
I'm on the rap throne, you sit in a chair

So who's up next to join this rap battle
I'll slaughter you like an abattoir does to cattle
But don't let that put you off from doing a rap
you'll get my respect even if it's crap

There is no contest, I am the king,
Of this the townend rap artist thing,
I'll spend a lot of time, doin this shit,
Just for some mother fucker to copy it,
You know its going to happen, It did last time,
Everybody just copies everyone elses rhymes,
I got nothing to do for the next half hour,
So i'll speak my rhymes at 90 miles per hour,
Yup, thats right, i may be pissed,
But this shitty little rap thing i couldnt resist,
Please remember at least this line of this mc's work,
Cause i'm writing it with a big huge Smirk,
It's going to be funny, It's going to be sad,
It's going to be wicked, it's going to be bad,
This rap was written by this young little lad,
He could not sleep so he made a few people mad,
He told a few lies to make his stuff ryhme,
And to make it last a bit longer in time,
And Why the fuck is everyone sill writing,
Everybodies bored by now, your shit aint exciting!
Only read theirs if you have nothing better to do,
As quite frankly their shit is pooh.
Still at least they wasted a couple of minutes of my boredom time,
Their not going to earn from this shit, nobody will pay them a dime.
But this is the end, im sorry to say,
Im going to bed, have a nice day.

(I'm sorry im crap at this :( )

splendid and tremendous
i hope you don't get run over by a bus

Hey dex you forgot about me
You motherfucking ugly chimpanzi
Ill kick your fat ass to outer space
Then suck off your mum and Jiz in your face

Im bored already of typing this shit
I need a bath for my stinking armpits
my name is bob, i have a big nob
my favourite food is corn on the cob

i've just got in from work so i'm cream crackered
apologies if this rhyme's a little weak but i've been working on the table - it's now laquered
someones gotta earn the bread though
i'll be minted like that actor willem dafoe with all this dough

the best thread's back then, what can i say
we'll be hearing lyrics as fresh as del tha funky homosapien and jam master jay
r.i.p. to the run dmc boys and all that shit
can't help thinking that if you'd had laces in those adidas then you wouldn't have been hit

who are the main contenders then?
me of course, then there's dex and ben wah balls
the rest are currently just pretenders
but while we're busy spitting pure sex there's always a chance for someone new to interject

i bought the father ted box set from work today
30% discount on that which makes up for the shitty pay
the cd i got was eyedea (remember him dex?) & abilities
i'll use it as inspiration, not that i need it, i posses alot of virility

i'm feeling a bit peckish which is a pity
all i've got to hand is bitty and i dont fancy sucking on my mums' tittie

so who's up next?
back to the old skool with dex or has someone new got the guts?

sos sos with a M and a E and last with an X
I go down smoother than a bottle of becks,
pretend all you want to be down with the homies
ben wah  balls dex and all his cronies.
the problem you see is the rhymes which are phat
us latinos have oddles of chat.
you come across all fluffy and gooey
you end up sounding like that deacon named joey.

nosotros somos los latinos  muy bonita
you are as old as stale ryvita.
so this is my first rap not bad for a start,
like max and his dog on  old hart to harts.
you'll being sniffing around for scrags and a bone
as i stand on the top of the pile all alone.

RRRRUUUUUUDDDDEEEEEBBBBBWWWWOOOOOOOOOIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

piss piss fanny fanny

piss piss fanny

deary dear dear and dear once again
dex old boy are you past it veteran?
your rhymes old bean have gone a little bit jazz
you are starting to sound like a dribbling spaz
the tricks in the words that you dont even see
you will end up like craig david all covered in wee

so dont pretend to rhyme and sing
you've as much clue as mr.andy king
442 and 451
play lloyd opera? would rather have your mum.
covered in honey with a pencil up her twat
then i'd write you lyrics that were stinky and phat
all covered in mum juice and shavings made of lead
while your daddy watched me humping her whilst tied to the bed.

im sorry dear boy for perving on your mum
its just that your brother told me that she was quite fun
the rhymes gone pear shaped i hope i dont get banned
but you and your relos are all oxford fans
keep it in the family no thank you son
i would rather use my right hand on page 3 of the sun.

His name's mexico red and he's from brighton
At least not a twat like fucking alan dyton
Did some good stuff there mex right on
Better than posts wih nothing but shite on

But don't poison your rhymes with shit about king out
He's the man for swindon and that's without a doubt
Who the fuck could do better, no one you lout
'Cos he buys all these great players and gets em for nowt

And I am down with the homies yes, yes, fo shizzle
Like super hans from peep show having a widdle
They love all my words and hearing my riddles
Now listen to my home boy on the fiddle

If you don't like my rhymes and you be dissing
I'll send you home with your teeth missing
The asphalt, that's what you'll be kissing
And when you catch fire don't think i'll be pissing

This thread is safe but it's just lacking barry
He's a bad boy like fucking prince harry
Missing from this forum like the stanley gary
But I don't care about him only barry

My name is barry and I don't exist
 Fuck with me and you'll get my fist :box
 I draw you in like lambs to the slaughter
 My shit's bigger than meatloaf's daughter
 I'm up like coke, get down like shep http://www.bbc.co.uk/cult/ilove/tv/bluepeter/pets/gallery/images/340/bpshep2.jpg
 I wow the chicks like johnny Depp
 My rhymes they give you disco fever
 I drink fucking beer like Trevor fucking Cleaver   http://www.grangehill.net/schoolreport/trevorcleaver.html
 If you screw with my crew then you'll be toast
 You're the gay bloke from rentaghost http://www.tellytunes.com/wallpapers/rentaghost_1024.jpg
 Chip shop don''t stop
 Cod and chips with a sausage on top

 
 Word up yo
Ha ha, tsk tsk tsk
Yea, yea, yea, yea, yea, yea, yea, yea, ha hah
Ohh shit, sing it y'all!

:soapy tit wank:  Spacey I like the fact you've explained your influences through linkage ....
barry you rule! 8)

yo, yo yo, I love this thread
I want to read it on my deathbed

listen up rudeboys, the pieman is here
stop this shit, its all a bit queer
I wouldnt normally be into the hip hop
I'd rather play with some bananas
Like me mate Julian Alsop
He likes young boys, now plays for forest green
listen to my shit as i vent my fucking spleen

i hate work, dont wanna leave my bed
hour and a half late, words they have been said
My boss Bob, he has a moustache
If he licked yer mum i'm sure he'd leave a rash
like execema it would be very irratating
i'd rather spend my time masturbating

So thats it for my bullshit rhymes,
i realise i'm no good, i need to get with the times

Barry is back and has rhymes to kill
Taking you back to early days in grange hill
So it's Benny here but Wah Balls not Green
But it's true to say my footy skills are mean

'Cos I'm like Zammo before the drugs
A bad boy you see, I put salt onto slugs
Of course Zammo was around before i was born
But i used to watch the repeats on sunday morn

Oooh yeah this threads just full of rapping talent
I'll even praise the others you see i'm being gallant
From Dex to Mex,OF,Turbo, Bob, Barry and Pie
It's clear to see, we're all really quite fly

In a battle Swindon v Compton i know we'd win
We'd smack em up with a left hook round the chin
You can keep all your razzle dazzle and ye bling bling
You knows it can't compare when we had Martin Ling

why did this thread die? :(

calm down sonic, no need to slit your wrist
have a few beers mate, get really pissed
The threads not dead, just having a rest
if you think its over then your having a jest

Yeovil and Youth are the new queens of moderation
changing all the posts - its a harsh allegation
J1mmy has gone, thank fuck for that
didnt take him long to start acting the twat

Now thats enough of this schoolboy Larkin'
coz I'm scoring goals like super Sammy Parkin

 8)

ace  8)

hahaha awesome!

oh dear

Lord have mercy on your souls.

 :hide:

:advercool:

classic  :D  spacey is a legend

the latino spirit never went away
mexico red won tha rap back in the day
where da fuck is that shit ginster rapper
his rhymes where good but his mother was fatter

dex was old school he knew the score
but fucking piemonte what a troublesome bore
beh wah balls thought he was heir to the throne
he was as impressive as nozza thrashing his bone

now with new members the tef goes stronger
like duracell batteries the saga lasts longer
the bitches on here though are still rather sparse
though we would all like a go on jfw's arse.

OI!! Im not sure Im appreciating that last line poo face

Yo JFW, you silly moo
You're supposed to answer in rhyme too
Tell that Mex he's a no good dick
and that JFW don't do no bum trick

Well I'm reading the TEF after my day's work's done.
And all I can think of is JFW's bum.

Listen very close to a real rhyme starter
I'll get you more excited than Chris Kamara
Unbelievable, obsurd, a bird be player hating
As Jamie's Future Wife is demonstrating
But I'm sorta hoping she's got a thing for midgets
Put down the keyboard and you can have a fidget
In my pants
Lance is a terrible name
So call the kid something else when it's due, ok?

 :Ride On Fatbury's Lovestick:

 :D :D :D

Makes me cringe to read this back
I sound like a complete twat
Townened townend what av you got
4 years on are you rhymes still hot?

Jackos here with some brand new Shizzle,
From what everybody say he is the Bizzle,
When he drink beer he like to Wizzle,
This the rap for the T.E.Fizzle!!!!

BOOOOOOMMM!