Thetownend.com

A little bit of Friday nonsense.....

What inventions do y'all have in your minds, and would actually create if you had the suitably stocked shed and the know-how....I have two..

1) Varying magnitude brake lights - replace normal brake lights with varying width lights (as in the wavy light on the front of 'KIT') where more lights light up (sideways) the harder you brake, general safey feature and also to avoid those reaction jams on the motorway where people get too close to the car in front, see brake lights then brake heavily thus causing a jam..

2) A wall calender which you write on (which exists in every home) but which you can sync with your iphone or similar.


Winners or shite?

Everyone who is anyone knows that beer tastes better, and the drinker looks far more manly, when the glass they are drinking from has a handle. I discovered this revelation in Hamburg in the summer where i invented the 'Handyl'. It's basically a portable handle that you can attach to any beer glass you might find in a pub. Also has the added use (courtesy of Whits) of sticking to the wall above a urinal so you have something to hold on to when attempting the tricky 'swaying piss' after 8 or 9 jars.

Brilliant!

Can we send the best ones into dragons den. That beer one, if we can mock it up and pretend Lucien has mortgaged his house to produce the prototype.

The purpose wouldn't be to get money, but to get on TV.

It's a good idea as a drinking aid.

but sticking it to the urinal wall then back on your beer glass?

For that reason, i'm out.

Two handys are better than one.

Not sure about the wall calendar thing. Wouldn't you just look at your phone anyway?

its to sync wifeys stuff with mine...married men will know the potential strife of double booking with something which is on the calender...(yeah, coz I look at the wall calender daily, obviously)

Google calandar. I synch wifeys calendar and mine onto my android phone. I can see her appointments, she can see mine.

No more her writing it on the calendar afterwards and pretending it was there all the time and blaming me for double booking. The worm has turned and I can play the "learn to synch" card...

Batch, not all households are so technically advanced as yours...my wife has a nokia 1 and writes on a wall calender!

Same here.  Let's hear it for the 20th century!!

Use the technology against her. Declare google calendar syncing the way forward, then you'll have a free run with no clashes because she can't use it.

Though the downside is she'll get you to buy a new phone/PC so she can ruin any plans you have by booking dates months in advance.
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But it could be done. Hand writing recognition of sorts has been around for years, remember the palm pilot (snigger). Think of a cut down iPad, blu tac'd to the wall with just a calandar ap and hand writing analyser ap. Then all it needs to do is synch back to a server every now and again.

It would sell in its tens!

Earphones which don't get tangled. Impossible but worth a try.

Cold fusion.

A cure for aids

1 - I'm not sure which manufactuer do it (maybe Jag?) but when the driver applies the brake hard, the brake lights start to flash (light goes around in a circle) to warn the driver behind

Beaten to it....however, that's the upper end of my idea, the other end is for when people just rest their foot on the brake, the brake light only comes on a little bit...

I never knew that this system was invented. If I was following this jag, too closely and not really paying attention, then it would mean fuck all to me. I would think the posh cunt had jazzy lights for the split second before I ploughed in to the back of him

Why the hassle...I never book a thing without checking with the keeper of the social calendar.  This way I don't have to remember anything.

[url width=400 height=300]http://www.weirdpalace.com/img/bizarre-and-odd/stupid-inventions/stupid-inventions02.jpg[/url]

Say no more...

But you can share calendars, an iPad can do what you want and for that reason I'm out.

Some kind of edible plates/cutlery so instead of washing up you just eat them at the end of the meal - winner?

Now you're just being silly.

You know how women always complain about heels on a night out and end up walking down the pissy street in bare feet when they hurt.....well how about clip on heels?

How about a black bin bag that opens easy....instead of having to do the Michael Owen hand rub to open the fuckers.
Maybe a miniature pump inserted into the bag so a gentle blow would do the job :hmmm:

Stop buying cheap bin bags and your problem will be solved.

My first idea is for a little sensor that detects whether or not it is foggy outside and if it isn't and the driver still has their foglights on it turns the volume of the radio full up and announces "Stop being a cunt and turn your foglights off!"

I know that it could turn them off automatically but I just feel that this is a more interactive solution.

My second idea is patent pending... :)

Not so much an idea but a practical solution...  Have trouble pulling bin bags out of your kitchen bin? It's not because you've overfilled it, it's because the full bin bag creates a vacuum as you try to remove it.  Simply remove the inner liner and drill four small holes in the side walls about 2 inches from the bottom and hey presto your bin bags will slide out with the ease!

But millions buy the cheapies so my idea will a money maker...please back me on this ;D

My latest idea - "Suicider". Want to end it all? Make your last moments slightly more pleasant by killing yourself with a nice cold (poisonous) pint of cider