Thetownend.com

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yep ................................ you guessed it !

You've never had to shit in a jar before?

You haven't lived

Have you got a funnel?

No...its just the way he walks.

That's one hell of a suppository, no wonder you're nervous

never had the need for one.

Dad said to use a jug, but that's what I make my omelette's in so fuck that !

and I'd take the lid off before you squat over the table.

its hardly a fucking jar

Make your own funnel using a cunning combination of selloptape and the cover of a magazine. I suggest Razzle.

Haha now I'm thinking about pooey Omlettes!
I'm one lucky girl knowing you!
What a thought to start they day on! :)

Fucking ace!

I had this very same dilemma once for the little'un. We got him to shit on some toilet roll then scoop the sample from that. I don't envy you though. Enjoy!

Oh dear. I'd suggest a potty, but your fat ass would break it. I'm all out of ideas.....

On the upside, I'm pleased to see Fred is back. That Tonis Tampon was a poor impersonator......

So, how the fuck did you do this?

Havent yet

Going to buy the Mail on Sunday tomorrow and make a funnel out of it

Although the results may reveal I am off my tits on Codine

cling film over the trap, have a shit like you always would, job done :D

I could of filled ten of them wednesday morning after that pork roll outside the townend!

Flash, I am positive thats what started the IBS off at 02.30 Wednesday morning

3am ....i was up, crashed ino the old 'En Shweet' and nearly passed out!

Shit into a piping bag first.

I am going to decorate a cake for you

Careful with the candles then

yes, there is a repeat of blue peter on the i player with a step by step guide ;D

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Rather you than me having to handle a turd - oh the joys

Saw you Sat at D & R you looked rather pissed even before the game

Catch your turd in a toilet paper hammock as it drops, then roll it about a bit to dry it off. By then you will have made like a poo cigar wrapped in TP. All you have to do now is to insert the poo vessel up into the 'cigar' to take a sample.
You could also, do it in a plastic bag and take that and the poo vessel back to whoever gave it to you and tell them to do the rest.

drugged up mate

You could shit youself and just take the sample from the destruction left

Or swallow the sample bottle and shit it out prefilled?

You're aware that you don't actually have to fill the fucker yes?

It's got that little, I hesitate to use the word spoon so scoop thing on the lid for a reason. Sit forward on the shitter and make sure you dump onto the bowl rather than straight into the water, scrape a bit into the tube.

Piece of piss

Has anyone read this entire thread? Fuck me this is funny.

I think you've misunderstood the whole purpose of the exercise

I could have filled it from here this morning.

Shit into a Johnny, tie the end up and give them that.

Is that due to the aftermath of your Sunday Roast? 

mission accomplished

 

Congratulations is in order i believe sir.

Did you use the iSample app?

nah, the ishitinasaucepan app

fancy coming over for a Chilli ?

2 Men 1 Saucepan?

proof?

Please God, No!

How are we supposed to believe it happened if theres no proof??

Visions of 'Glass Ass'

NSFW, you will get sacked.

I think this is something we'd all be happy to take as a matter of faith. Please.

wheres talk talk when you need him :-)

No shit?

I'm with pauld on this one. I'm quite happy to take Fred's word on it.

Corrected.

I think we need talktalk to go round to Fred's and ensure he has had a dump in a saucepan - and then watch as Fred cooks his dinner in it and eats it

Now you've just taken the joke too far. There's always one.

I think you should go to your room p2p and think about what you've done

yeah p2p

Yeah you fucking stupid cunt.