Thetownend.com

For the past few months I have been writing and my work has always been accepted gladly without complaint. Throughout this time I would not have been able to identify a noun or verb if I was smacked in the boat by one.

Whilst looking writing work online, I have been asked to do a couple of tests which ask questions like "Identify proper noun useage" or whatever. What a bunch of crap because not being able to identify a noun does not mean that I don't know how to use one. Then they start asking things like "Correct the predicate useage in this sentence" to which I could only reply: "Tell me what the fuck a predicate is first and I will".

Stupid language, do you know your nouns and stuff?

I know quite a number of grammatical terms, but learned most of them in French and Latin lessons at school.  I don't really remember learning any grammar in English lessons.

Get some help at http://www.askoxford.com/ (http://www.askoxford.com/) - the best thing to come out of Oxford, along with the A420.

what sort of stuff do you write dude?

Really?  :soapy tit wank:

If Barry was paying me to post then I'd give a shit.

I don't do anything exciting or glamorous Dave, it is mostly just stuff for web content or blogs. A lot of it involves writing on stuff that I know little to nothing about and having done the job myself, I can now recognise just how much utter crap and stuffing there is on the net written by clueless people like myself.

The pay can be either quite good or extremely shite depending on who the buyer is. I am tinkering with the idea of doing something more creative and am reading into ghost writing but I'll just wait and see how that pans out.

Im doing English Language AS at college, so we have to be fairly clued up on all the terminology. I actually have to write whole courseworks saying shit like "oh this is a concrete noun" and "this uses an abstract noun", and "the author uses modal auxiliaries" ... basically oxford (excuse my foul language) english grammar :)

You ever thought of becoming a brickie or something?

I despised English at school and pretty much until i was in my final year, i couldn't even punctuate. Although i think it was more a case of couldn't be bothered to punctuate. I decided if i was going to get a GCSE, i should learn, so i did and got a C. I still haven't got a clue what a noun, verb, adjective and what not is, but eh?

:D

Sorry couldn't resist that!

You're not far off jj. For years i used to write using the following self-made rules.

*Every 2 lines, have a full stop followed by a capital letter.
*Down the middle of the page have commas on every line.
*Every 10 lines begin a new paragraph.

I'm learning to speak foreign at the moment, so i should really try to understand verbs and what not, because linguaphone might make more sense.

It's easy.

Nouns are things.

Verbs are doing words.

Adjectives are describing words.

Adverbs are a bit in the middle.

Past participles, predicates and all that shit are irrelevant.

English is easy  :D

Does my head in, I did any English degree but never have understood the point of being able to identify various parts of a sentence...  I suppose I can see use for it when learning particular languages (helped with German) but when it's your native language, as long as you can spell and don't write like an utter mong who cares?  My boss at work today wrote the phrase "this is very undermining to the team as a whole"...  Grr twat.  I hate the use of the word "very" or "extremely" unless it's necessary...  it's either undermining or it's not.  It can't be very undermining you cunt...

Sorry went off on a tangent there...  I looked into doing your job BR but basically what I've learnt is nowadays your best bet is to leave school as soon as possible and get into the working environment.  Qualifications will get you nowhere, unless maybe you manage a degree from Oxbridge.  I'm an English graduate, with good grades, I've done various jobs (albeit basic student-type jobs) and I'm working in...  yes, a callcentre.  Okay, a glorified call centre selling car insurance, but it's still effectively telesales, and it seems impossible to get on a graduate scheme or get a job where I'll ever pay back my legions of debt...  I now seem trapped in insurance, which I can live with, but worse still, I seem trapped in sales...

...that would involve some hard graft. Arty-Farty bastards don't know what that is.

English is a stupid subject. Look, I can speak it just as well as (i'd say better than) the guy before me, and probably after me, but i only have a GCSE in the thing. Uh Oh, my life is doomed. Shit.

Are they short of stewards in the TE?

Oh, and i have never known the difference between a noun/adverb/adjective - for some reason, they never asked 'what is the noun in the sentence' at GCSE.

To be fair most of what they ask you at GCSE has little to no application in the real world...

You did an English degree, that should answer the latter part of your post.

Either learn a profession or do business, otherwise it's basket weaving for you m'lad.

But at 18 I had no idea of what I wanted to do?  How can I select what profession to train in when I had zero experience of the professional world, my own work experience coming from working at a go-kart track and in Next...  I did a 2 week stint on the Daily Telegraph's sports desk so plumped for English as journalism seemed my best bet... only to have my dreams shattered by an industry in decline, awful wages and a difficult way into the industry.

Don't blame the economy, or your age, it's the same for everyone.

Find out what you are good at and work your nuts off.

That's what I'm doing...  it doesn't make the system right, or fair though.  To be honest, anyone thinking of university - don't bother, unless you're going to study medicine or something like that...  I'm working with law graduates with decent degrees from decent unis.  How the government can target 50% of the population going to university is beyond me...  you'll have medicine graduates picking up litter.

I quite enjoy insurance, and wouldn't mind making a career out of it.  But what was the point of those 3 years studying crackhead Coleridge?

and nor does any part of a degree by the sounds of it :eek: You've made me happy, what i've been saying to English students for the past three years is true...they just got very, very upset when i told them it was a waste of space and it isn't worth the debt they're in :)

The only useful degrees are the stronger science degrees, medicine or a language (at a push). Most places will now just say 'Degree: any 2:1'...but a 2:2 degree in maths/physics/chemistry will be worth a whole lot more than a 2:1, or a first, in media studies or psychology.

In my opinion, the degree itself is not what employers are looking for.  The fact you capable of getting a degree is designed to show you are capable of independent study, and I suppose there are some people who cannot cope with the university environment.  However, I think this is more down to personality traits as opposed to intelligence.

In reality, a degree shows you have people skills, as you're thrown in the deep end (especially if you go an especially long way from home).  It does demonstrate certain qualities that an employer may look for, but intelligence and what you are actually taught are not among these.  Indeed, how many jobs require me to quote poetry?  Or even give in depth analysis to a body of loaded text?  This same example can be used for the majority of degrees, unless they are specific.

I am being a little harsh as I did have the opportunity to go on to become a teacher, something I couldn't have done without a degree.  However, I couldn't be arsed with another year of studying and debt for something I wasn't highly motivated to do, for a salary that was far from glamorous.

That said, it's nice to have a degree on my CV, and the theory, or so I've been told, is that once you have finally entered the minefield of work you will climb the ladder more rapidly than someone without a degree.  So far I've yet to test this theory, but then I've only been in "proper" employment for seven months.

The degree is just the starting point, the easy bit of a career, it gives you the foot in the door, the interview opportunity you may never have had without it but it doesn't automatically give you a well paid job in a resepcted industry (unless of course you're part of the old boys network).

Walrus, you're pretty much right. A degree basically shows you're capable of a certain level of semi-independent thought and have managed to apply yourself sufficiently for 3-4 years to get through it. Very few degrees are actually directly relevant to subsequent careers and quite a few employers will look down on some of the newer "semi-vocational" degrees, like hotal management, broadcast studies etc as being insufficiently academically rigorous. Clearly that doesn't apply for stuff like engineering, medicine, nuclear physics etc, but by and large most degrees are irrelevant to career path.