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Do you wipe, do up and flush - or do you flush then do up?? Is anyone aware of the correct social ettiquette regarding these matters?

Wipe, flush, do up.

Flush, wipe, do up.

Washing hands optional it would appear.

Is that a bitter twisted joke?? I'd hate to go to the crapper after you.

For the record I Wipe, flush, do up.

No-one washes their hands anyway.

I don't wipe at all. I spray.

Lah de dah

is there a correct social ettiquette as surely your on your own in a room or cubicle?

unless you like to shit while someone watches?

We all have our foibles

I think the key thing is to wipe before you do up. Beyond that, largely a matter of personal choice. But you really should wash your hands, dave, you filthy brown-fingered boy

Is this the bidet/toilet, or paperless lav, much loved in Japan and S. Korea, which dries you after crapping and washing?

Fold or scrunch?
Stand or sit whilst?

I'm a stand and fold man.

I've said this on many occasion, and me and BR discussed this before. Bog roll is for filth mongers so i therefore wash my shit hole. :D

But wipe, flush, do up. Or flush, do up and allow the pants to take care of the wiping, which if it's a hot day, and lets be honest, the pants will take care of what the bog roll didn't anyway.

blokes are ming

So no truth in the rumour* heard singing on the toilet

Milk milk lemonade
'Round the corner chocolates made
Press the button, pull the chain
Down goes chocolate choo-choo train

* that I made up.

hahahah Ive not heard that since primary school!! in fact the last bit about the train Ive NEVER heard

I heard it somewhere recently, Harry Hill maybe.

hahahaha That reminds me of my friend ringing me on Monday morning to say he saw the kniited

Wipe sat down or standing up?

I daren't risk trying to wipe sat down.

Nah, that's a female thing wiping while sat down. Mainly because they have two bottoms to deal with.

Back to front or front to back?

Side to side.  Makes life more interesting.

flush, flush, wipe, flush, wipe, flush, grin

Really? cos my son does this and i have always thought him slightly strange! It must be a boy/man thing

only when i do a massive steamy one :-)

gross

It does sound a bit anal.

potty mouth

Talking of toilet habits, some blokes use the most ridiculous amounts of toilet roll. How often have you go into a bog, at work or somewhere, only to see the toilet full to near overflow with watered down mulligatawny and tissue. That's definitely a bloke thing. My ex-flatmate could go through a couple of rolls in a week.

Having given up on the tef and then not having any internet for 3 weeks has led me to find other forms of entertainment. I've discovered that having a mirror handy so you can watch the expression on your face whilst taking a shit is super fun. I've been chugging curry and laxatives pretty solidly, desperate for my next fix.