Thetownend.com

Sayings that get on your tits!

1) Ming
2) I nearly did a little wee
3) a tiny piece of sick came into my mouth
4) mentalist
5) Whatever 

1. Pillock
2. Prat
3. Twit
4. Plonker
5. Bozo

I selected 5 "insults". I can't help but feel you'd be better off either using a proper profanity or saying nothing at all.

1. Listen up.
2. I think so.
3. Maybe.
4. Can I get back to you.
5. It's not my fault.

1. This - when used in a quote on a forum. It doesn't even make grammatical sense.
2. OMG111LOLZ - Fucking grow up.
3. text speak of any kind.
4. "If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all." - Fuck off. You're a slag.
5. "Anythink/somethink/nothink" - RARRGGGGRGGRGGGGGG FFFFUUUUUCCCKKKKKK OFFF

 What's JFW done to upset you?

1. If only
2. Everything happens for a reason - Bullshit
3. Its not Rocket Science - Just Piss off
4. With all due respect - what a load of bollocks, you dont mean it, your just trying to be polite
5. This. - I agree with that one

      1.Climate change
      2.Swine Flu
      3.Modernisation
      4.Hearts and minds
      5.Politically correct.

Pen instead of penalty
your instead of you're, (and vice versa)
IMHO
His family has been told (what happened to 'next of kin has been informed' ?)
In the right areas (cricket)

johns are ace.
this is someone on my facebook's update, they are all like this, so annoying.
"wooo,cnt wait till 2nite :D roll on 10:30pm,whos goin rage??? happy today,seeing a old m8,aint seen in ages i fink todays gonna b a gud day,well 4 one of us while the other ones hanging haha luv u *****,wish u'd listen tho >:( ,neva mind,bloody still cuming out 2nite tho haha "

Im sorry  :cry:

although on the plus side I dont think I ever use the bottom 2?

1. 'Errrrr, hello?!'
2. 'My bad'
3. Any use of the word 'über' as an adverb in an English sentence
4. 'You're hurting me'
5. 'Wrong hole'

When used over-the-toply

1. Cunt
2. Fuck
3. Simples


Other than that, i don't really get that wound up about sayings i'm afraid

Any phrase where someone describes the thing they are about to say:

1. I don't mean to be rude = I am about to be rude
2. To be honest with you = Til now, I have been lying to you
3. I tell it like it is/I speak as I find = I am generally rude
4. Don't take this personally = I am about to make a personal statement you are likely to find offensive

1. "Could I just put you on hold please"
2. blue-sky thinking - f*ck off
3. soapy tit wank
4. credit crunch
5. to be fair

1- at the end of the day...
2- the way i see it is...
3- to be perfectly honest with you....
4- im not being funny, but....

Nothing at all , i just happen to hate them

Can you copy me in on that

1. Recruitment agencies
2. Recruitment agencies that say "yes i have a job for you"
3. Recruitment agencies that say "i have another job here for you, closer to home with more money"
4. Recruitment agencies that say "I should have an answer for you by the end of today" (thursday)
5. Recruitment agencies that never get back to you and take Fridays off leaving you jobless

1. If you know what I mean
2. Whatever
3. Simples
4. ending sentences with the words "End of"
5. ending sentences with the word "FACT" when it blatently isn't (which is every the time its used!)

1. saying something is 'Flush'
2. Think positive
3. What goes around comes around
4. Alroight moi luuuver (if I hear that from some cunt down here again I'll scream)
5. Choke up Chicken

The ones that annoy me most on facebook are the updates 'so and so is looking forward to seeing a certain someone tonight' or 'thinks a certain someone should get a life' etc.

How ironic that you want everyone to know about something but have disclosed the vital detail. Teasing slags.

1. Anything that Americans say

A popular one, often used by clever footballers.

1. Lush
2. Green Army!
3. Simples!
4. My Bad
5. Any text/internet abbreviation. WTF, LØL, R0FL, Lick my Arse Orifice, IMHO, IIRC, OMG! etc, etc

am I the most annoying person on this forum then?

I don't think i've ever seen you use any of these, so no you're certainly not the most annoying person on the forum. :)

at the moment.

1. Simples
2. Green Army
3. good times
4. bad times
5. everything Foggy posted.

Just a choice few from me:

1. Any text speak whatsoever.   I don't understand it.

2. I really hate it when people use a question mark at the end of a sentence that isn't a question?

3. Say what you like but at least I'm myself - as though just "being yourself" is noble and an excuse for any behaviour.  "So, Mr Hitler, do you have anything further to add to your defence?"  "I was just being myself".  I blame Big Brother for this "proud to be a twat, as long as I'm consistently a twat" attitude.  Its actually much better to act nicely.

4.  Corporate language - especially frameworks/data warehouses/observatories - what's wrong with calling them boxes with numbers in them?  See also - "streamlining/business process re-engineering" - making stuff quicker.  I annoy people in work by talking in English.

5.  The use of "less" when the word should be "fewer", e.g. I wish Billy Shears used less words - fewer words, that should be.

work speak is bollox. Apparently I now work as part of a content factory.

Green army so annoying.

Nice to see that you are still a self righteous prick Dan, please dont change. The forum wouldnt be the same without our resident dementor.

Learn to read you fucking idiot.

Point 5 was me agreeing with every thing you orginally posted.

the fogster bites fucking hard these days.
he's like the forum pike.
probably the worst top 5 ever by the way

End of.
Should/would/could of (it's 'have' you fucking 'tard)
The fact of the matter is...
You get me?
To be fair...

'End of'  No its fucking not.  Thats not an argument.
'At the end of the day' It gets dark
'Not never' (or any kind of double negative)
'Innit'
'Basically'

1. Can I have your number and I'll get someone to call you back? (They never do)
2. Bear with me (Invariably used in the same conversation as 1.)
3. Cheer up, it may never happen.
4. End of.
5. That's life.

Huge apologies DV, i am indeed a fucking idiot, i need to take time to read things through :doh: :-[ :doh:

Boring cunt. FIIIIIIGGGGHHHHHHTTT

1) "Guess what".

I fucking hate it when somebody comes up to you and say nothing but "Guess what".

When I was a younger, more naive lad I would often reply with: "I Dunno, what?" only to hear the counter reply: "Guess".......

Nowadays I prefer to nip it in the bud, if somebody should now ask: "Guess what". I will now reply along the lines of: "No, I will not even hazard a guess at whatever the fuck it is you want me to guess at so either just tell me what it is now or this conversation ends right here".

"Guess what"

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

its when people say "guess what" and then dont give you the chance to even guess.

The Brisyol habit of any statement being turned into a question ?

Phil, I believe that the term you are looking for is "rhetorical questions"?

Which reminds me of a Simpsons moment

Lisa: Dad, do you even know what rhetorical means?

Homer: do I know what rhetorical means?

I dont tell it very well

I was going to start a whole new thread on rhetorical questions and my hatred of them, partly due to the fact that my wife is the grand master at stupid rhetoric. For example:

Mrs BR: Do you still want to go to the beach this week?

Me: Of course, why, are you able to get the time of work now?

Mrs BR: No.


Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

Ahhh this reminds me of my mum, when we are eating dinner and i pass her my plate to put on a little bit of a veg im not to keen on, she says "say when" i say "thats enought" only to keep piling it on.
What part of "thats enough" dont you understand woman!!!!

grrrr

Any female (Wife/gf/mum/nan/sister): "Where are you going BR?"

Me: "I'm going to the pub?"

Any female: "What do you mean you are going to the pub?"

Grrrrrrrrrrr

Most phrases that annoy me are already mentioned... I would add (unless already mentioned but missed by myself)

01) "That's Mint" - used a lot up here in the North East.

02) "Is it" - when used inappropriately.

Friend #1: We'll be going down <name>'s house later

Friend #2: Is it.

What starting to get on my nerves is being called mate/buddy/bruv.

I don't even know you so how am I your mate?!!!

Pal.

Homer's Mum (singing): How many roads must a man walk down, before you can call him a man?

Homer: Seven!

Lisa: No Dad, its a rhetorical question.

Homer: Rhetorical, eh?....... Eight!

Back on subject - "I fink you're fick" - TH TH TH TH TH!

the phrase 'nice to meet you'. How the fuck do you know its nice to meet me?

Instead of this, I prefer to say 'Hi, I really hope that you are not a cunt'

I might have to use this. It makes much more sense

You shouldnt have..(when you buy someone a gift)
Is anyone sat there..(obviously not)

i think its like a lot of people but when someone say, bumps into you on a busy street and its obvoisly their fault, you're the one who says sorry.

One thing that is really starting to bug me at the moment is when news/travel/weather people on radio shows finish their bit and say "We're next at 7" - what the hell does that mean ?

"I'm not one to gossip, but....."

Great question -

1) OMG (either written, or even worse, the letters said)
2) Good Times/Bad Times/Sad Times etc
3) Simples!
4) A-maze-ing or amez-ing
5) soapy tit wank (again, worse if someone says soapy tit wank) and Lick my Arse Orifice for facebook statuses.


Basically, anything Scott Mills says and people copy makes me cringe (or should that be "Kerr-ringe")

Regarding your last point, I would say it was soap that gets on your tits.

It's just a short way of saying "is there somebody who was sat there a minute ago who is currently in the toilet/at the bar who will be coming back soon?" though isn't it?

Also annoying me currently is that 'up your viva' advert with that weirld looking funny shaped head thing