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Help me doctor TEF, I'm dying. My throat has closed up to about the size of a 5p piece and it's painfull to swallow.

Liberal use of Anadin Extra and Strepsils have done nothing, if anything it's got worse.

I'm planning on going to the docs tomorrow if it hasn't improved by the morning, but what can I do in the meantime to ease the pain?

eat  meat

Blackthorn

 :D

The only thing I ever found that helped a sore throat was anaesthetic throat spray.

I would've thought the sprays would do the same job as Strepsils i.e. fuck all. Might be worth a go though.

And I've already tried meat and cider. No joy.

It doesn't help that I've got a massive mouth ulcer and a wisdom tooth coming through at the moment as well.

obviously not enough meat or cider

wanna sell your ticket for Saturday ?

Be a man and just put up with it. Doctors are for gays.

Failing that drink undiluted tcp. That'll sort you out.

I hope to be back in the land of the living by then.

I noticed a few months back that a wisdom tooth I previously thought not to exist had emerged through the gum very quickly and caused me no grief.

The bottom ones continue to stay just beneath the gums, two small bumps to remind me of the future pain I will undoubtedly go through in the future. I look forward to having them all ripped out one day.

Gargle some salt water,that will help with the ulcer to.  

You have Glandular fever. Smoke a bit more and it will go away in a day, worked for me.

That's what google said. It also said I've got Strep B and I'm definitely going to die.

Might as well make the most of it.

Lemsip and Scotch. There's three categories of medical ailment:

1) Broken stuff. Go to A&E
2) Stuff that's going to kill you. Not much you can do about them
3) Everything else - can be cured by Lemsip and Scotch*





*It may or may not actually help, but have enough of them and you don't give a fuck until whatever it is goes away.

That's what i was going to say. Whenever i get a sore throat I get a glass of warm water, a revolting amount of salt, stir until as good as dissolved and then gargle it a mouth full at a time, until there's none left. Makes you wanna puke sometimes, but i think it works. At least my throat feels better, but then would it have anyway i often wonder?

Have you been run down lately?
Do you have a slight fever?
Are you unable to talk?

If its stupidly painful and you have all the above you might have a Quincey...not nice at all and need to go into hospital

Yes, Yes, No.

What's a Quincey?

A sore throat. Time to man up Sam.

An abscess between the back of the tonsil and the wall of the throat. Its fairly rare these days apparently but i had one.
Started as a little sore throat one saturday after football, by sunday evening it had rapidly got worse, alot worse! Monday morning was sent straight to hospital by doctor for 3 days!
Ask the wife to smell your breath, if it is it wont be smelling to fresh right now

I don't think she'd be too keen to smell my breath at the best of times.

I just found some cough mixture in the back of a cupboard. It's supposed to sooth sore throats so I downed about half the bottle. Well, not really, but a liberal dose. Fuck knows how old the cough mixture is though, could've been there for years.

Bag of McCoys!!

It's always worked for me aswell,my nan used to swear by it.It seems a lot of the old remedies are better than all this mass produced stuff that contain allsorts of additive's etc. 

I'm pleased to report that my sore throat has near enough gone. The bad news is that means I have to back to work tomorrow.