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I want to cook one for the first time tomorrow. However i cant find a normal recipe on line, you know just a basic recipe with all the trimmings.

Help me please ye olde TEF.

How many covers?

I don't think you get recipes for roast dinner because it's a case of putting it in the oven until it's cooked*


*try a Jamie Oliver cookbook.

2 Michael.

I dont want to cook stuff from Jamie Oliver mr Pieman, its to poncy!

Do you want a pork joint (with crackling) or are you thinking of a stuffed tenderloin? Or Chops etc?

Joint with crackling ideally.

With Roast Spuds and some decent veg.

Trouble is i am a spastic in the kitchen, so need a step by step guide

If it is just for 2 is it meant to be romantic?

Avoid legs as they are too easy to have the meat too dry.

The blessed St Delia does a great recipe for pork fillet/pork tenderloin where you fast roast it at gas mark 8 with apples.

Dont do romantic! :)

Little trick, i must be the only one who does this, but it's the shit. Buy some Belazu Smoked Chilly Jelly from the supermarket and mix a jar of it through your gravy. Or in case you only make a small amount, about a teaspoon sized amount through each per-person portion. Roll the potatoes in Mustard, Paprika or Garlic as well. If you could eat sex that's what it would taste like, although more salty and more regrettable.

If you fuck up a roast dinner then you don't deserve Ralphy :D

crackling can also be hard to get right - go to a decent butcher and explain what you want to do - they should be able to prepare a rolled joint (of pork!!) for you with a decent amount of fat for the crackling.

emo cunt

My tip for good crackling is score the fat to make small cuts, cover the fat with plenty of salt and some olive oil and pepper. Whack it in the oven on high (gas mark 8) for about 20 mins to get the fat starting to co crispy.
Then reduce the heat to the normal cooking temperature.
Also, something else I do is remove the fat half way through cooking and put it in a roast tray in the top of the oven with the roasties. This will get it all nice and crispy all over and you get great crackling :)
I find if I leave it on the meat the whole way through cooking, the fat on the top gets nice and crispy but around the sides and the bottom it can be a bit soggy still.

BBC recipes website has got loads on it, all from different chefs, if you're a really useless cunt like yourself.

Delia says:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/food/recipes/database/roastporkwithcrackli_67344.shtml

Plus -

Veg: Prep, boil then simmer for 20.

Roast potatoes: Boil, part cook, then pour some of the pork juice over and in the oven until crispy.

Stuffing: Get a packet, mix it, roll it and chuck in the oven.

Pigs in blankets: You can get ready made up frozen ones.

Gravy: Make it very thick.

Don't forget the apple sauce.

Basically what Ginginho said...

Are you taking the piss?

You need to try some of my better half's Oliver inspired cooking.

That's not an invite mind, you cunt......

And yea, if you fuck up roast pork, you're a total and utter waste of space......have a great day!

I reckon another TEF proposal is on the cards.....

Tans go to Morrisons and buy a tray of there winter vegtable roasting Veg - Fling it in the same time as the potatoes and bobs your uncle - No peeling or any of that shit!

Follow this, the man is right.  Rolled pork belly is very good for crackling.

No no no no no

prepacked pork joints with crackilng are in tescos freezers for a fiver.
just follow the instructions on the packet.peice of piss

It's easy Tans. A chimp could cook a roast dinner.

Awww, I hope he didn't ruin your surprise by asking for the advise of the TEF? :D

No no Bazza

Can't beat some buttered cabbage, Ramsey style.

Tans am I invited to your come dine with me event?

Tans this cannot be the first time you have given emma pork?

Cheeky git.

Its in the oven bubbling away nicely...

battered cabbage sounds better.

Red Cabbage slowly cooked down with apple goes well with pork.

Indeed it does...I like to reduce red cabbage with some white wine vinegar, that works well.

JFW eating a bit of dirt to get the neccesary trace elements is essential to a good diet, that is why you should not over clean your root veg.

You'll definately have to propose then, its the decent thing to do.

What are you doing, a stew?  ???