Thetownend.com

Whilst twiddling my thumbs at work tonight i was trying to devise ways to pass my afternoons when i struck upon this idea, why dont the TEF as a group influence meaningless polls from around the world. What i mean is every now and then we vote on mass in some local newspaper poll from some small town say in the states or australia and try and totally corrupt the result. The more bizarre the better I reckon. We should pick a poll have a quick debate about which way to vote and then vote on mass. Imagine if 400 people voted one way on an adver poll we would win easy.

So the next step is to find a poll, lets try and find one in which the result we bring about will outrage the local population..... Im going hunting I actively encourage others to do the same.

http://blogs.journalism.co.uk/editors/2009/06/20/twitterers-claim-victory-over-loaded-daily-mail-gypsy-poll/ (http://blogs.journalism.co.uk/editors/2009/06/20/twitterers-claim-victory-over-loaded-daily-mail-gypsy-poll/)

We should do this.

thats the idea ! but i reckon we should do it on a more local level.

I was hoping to find something a bit more contraversial but alas the Alabama based newspapers didn't have any other polls that I could find -

http://blog.al.com/segrest/2009/07/grade_the_sec_football_coaches.html

how about the stricter boating controls in massachusettes? lets all vote no and have boating anarchy :)

http://eagletribune.com/#jumptopoll

Nice. Put my vote in. Number 25. We can throw this one me thinks.

I was worried about looking for polls because I knew I'd be drawn to ones similar to the dailymail effort that Nemo linked to. The problem is that the tef's gone a bit down hill and you'd get lots of stupid people missing the point and arguing that gypsies shouldn't get to skip the nhs queue.

Boating freedom or death!

good start! when i first looked at this poll the nos were on 12% now up to 40%

is this just being kept to the forum, or can we utilise face book etc to get more votes

rules are for losers.

oops I voted no twice - 51-49 to the namby pamby communists

There's been a fightback by the boating fascists 52.38% vs 47.62%. Boats want to be free!

I just made it 50/50

And I just swung it in favour of the Free Boat Society...go team TEF.

up to 52% no now. :D

53.19% no.

No is creeping into the lead now.

aceness keep voting we are going to piss this :)

If we do indeed manage to strike a blow for North Massachusetts boating freedom, I think we should all go on a TEF boating holiday there. I'd imagine we could get the grateful citizens of WhereverTheFuckItIs to pay for our flights, put us up while we're there etc. And I think they should erect a statue of Mex in the town square

http://www.usnpl.com/

good way of trawling local papers looking for polls

61.29 in favour of the no's

I voted Yes, not really, another no brings it up to 63.08%!

One more no.

just voted  8)

66% now :D

This is top stuff boys, 67 % for the noes now

67.53% for the "No"s now

67.42% now -looks lke someone voted yes in the interim

just voted 68.48% now

69.07%    

After voting why not treat yourself to an article about a Nazi saluting Gnome (found within the Eagle Tribune website).

http://video.ap.org/?t=By%20Section/World&g=0718dv_nazi_gnome&f=MANOA

I just had the 100th vote and its a clean 68% for the no's

Just voted, it's 65%

Felt I should log in and do my bit. The Townend Freeboaters are floating at 67.52%. This should make front-page news by tomorrow in North Andover MA.

This is a great thing you're doing KoT.

we need a big push this morning from all you tef ers who use this site at work, i reckon we could have a 80% swing by the end of the day.

The "Yes" men are fighting back, only 66.41% in favour of "No" now.

66.67%!

If you would like to learn more about boating laws and regulations in Massachusetts, you can get a FREE handbook here! (http://www.boat-ed.com/ma/handbook/index.htm)

Just voted.


Is there a need for stricter regulations for boating?
Yes.    32.82%    
No.    67.18%    
131 votes counted

68.61% now  :D

is your avatar from the scilly isles?

From work:

Is there a need for stricter regulations for boating?
Yes.    30.07%    
No.    69.93%    
143 votes counted

70.05% for the no's now!

another NO added.

71.24%

I like this alot!

Yes.  28.39%   
No.  71.61%

No again 153 votes now

Just voted again from work. 71.97% No

 ??? Anyone voted yes?

squares have

No's have slipped back to just 66.10%, don't let the sqaures win!

Half my office has voted no, although some of my colleagues are a bit confused as to quite why I'm so excited about boating controls in N Massachusetts.

Thats another No from me too!

message from spacey :)

You're going down. Polljacking carries life in some states in America

Hi Al,

A friend of mine works on a local paper here in Swindon, England. He mailed me this short story he's submitted about a group that hijack polls in an attempt to cause trouble. I used to run a website a while ago and I was a victim of their games. Anyway, It seems that your newspaper has been targetted by the group and they have voted in their numbers against stricter boating regulations....I'd be grateful if this info is of interest to you that you omit my name as repurcussions would be likely.


Polljackers Attempt to Cause Boating Anarchy

By Jason Spacey

A local group who refer to themselves as Polljackers have taken their campaign to America, in an attempt to cause mayhem on foreign waters.

The group known as TEF have already caused problems in the UK, by mass voting in a number of polls and email votes. One vote that allowed people to name the stadium of amateur football club, Oxford United, resulted in the ground being named The Complete Bollox Arena.

Group leader Crispin Delmonte, known by internet Anarchists as The King of Tonga defended TEF's actions. "Polls and Email votes do not serve any purpose whatsoever! They are simply designed by people that wish to create the illusion that their opinions are the popular choice."

TEF henchman and local communist troublemaker, Paul Davisovski, agreed. "We find polls that are overwhelmingly in favour of a particular option and then instruct our members to vote the opposite way. One such poll we found was one run by an American Newspaper called The Eagle Tribune, asking ' Is there a need for stricter regulations for boating? The majority said 'yes', we've turned that around dramatically. If we cause anarchy on the water, then so be it!"

Police said that they are powerless to act. "The polls are open to the public and as such anyone can vote, so technically they are not doing anything wrong." confirmed a police spokesman.

Spacey could be on to something. We could hijack polls on newspaper sites in far flung corners of the world, wait a couple of days and send them Spacey's email and then see if the TEF get pulished as a story.

Local communist troublemaker Paul Davisovski :D

Is there a need for stricter regulations for boating? 
Yes.  36.84%   
No.  63.16%   
209 votes counted 

So where the fuck is Kevin Spacey where you need him......

Its getting close

Is there a need for stricter regulations for boating? 
Yes.  38.12%   
No.  61.88%   
223 votes counted

I have a new one we can do. It's a survey commissioned by my employer. Please all fill it in and give everything top marks as I work with a bunch of whiney pussies and I think it would be nice to give some positive feedback for a change. Be creative!

https://www.surveymonkey.com/s.aspx?sm=_2f2vF4XB0mf_2bgfcYJR3YOtA_3d_3d

password is "sscwellbeing2009"

Having taken the survey I think we should all answer with the most laid back answers possible, as if working here is a breeze.

I answered as if I hate the place and when asked for comments just put "John Kane told me to".

Now now, just because you don't want him to get a bonus next year......

Someone might be looking for a new job shortly, when the shit hits the fan i reckon :)

I filled it in very positivly,If I was CEO I suggested dressing like Comic Book Characters every now and then could be morale boosting.

My answers for the CEO question: "Topless canteen workers, bordello vouchers and people dressing up in superhero costumes. These changes would create a happier, more effective workforce"

My final comment: "Help me"

Although this is a terrific idea, I'd feel terrible if Jayo got in trouble.

And it was too long.

I started filling it out, putting silly answers and stuff, but after a while I got bored and stopped.
Might try again tomorrow if I have more patience

I just got bored too

I did strippers, beer, and more strippers to finish me off.

I suggested Hawaiin shirt day.

i suggested that everyone should play soggy biscuit at least once a day.

you're a sick, sick puppy, someone really ought to put you down...

I dont know what the hell it means and Im Im not sure I want to to be honest

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Soggy_biscuit

euuuwwwwwwww

ahhh, the soggy biscuit game.... reminds me of a cub scout trip to Swanage in the early eighties.... happier times.

With the benefit of hindsight, I'm sure John might realise it wasn't a very good idea to post the link to that survey on here. I completed it like a total cunt btw, true to life though......

Were you the scout leader?

purposefully finishing last.

Well, I insisted on using garibaldi biscuits... or if we were really pushing the boat out - chocolate bourbons.

Does anyone fancy a sustained raid on another forum again?

Register en masse onto the likes of the knitting forum and subvert each thread into a theme, which is then discussed ad nausea between us and hijacking the whole lot.

fire away dazza your call, forum and subject.

manatees and the trust forum?

I think that might've been done already.

Plus, only poor old Gerald posts on there anyway.

How about: w w w. knittingforums .co .uk/

How about a knitting pattern for manatees?

Can I suggest you 'code' that link so it's not referred from here.

That's a good shout. We should divide into two camps, those who are in favour of protecting the humble manatee and those who are against boating restrictions along the Florida coasts. Turn a thread about manatee knitting patterns into some hardcore political debate.

im in for a penny

they take there time to verify, im onegirlonecup :)

Mine is 'barbaracartland'

Did it take long for anyone else to get there confirmation email back? I haven't got mine yet.

This would be the one to do.   http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/sport/swindontown/stfclegends/form/

Greimink for starters?

Me either.

Haha, Darren Bullock and Boddy Howe in the centre.

This is a winner, lets make Barty a legend.

Fola Onibuje surely.

Goalkeepers first, then we can rig the whole team.

A whole year of rigging!

You are invited to vote on a position each month, starting with the goalkeeper throughout August and continuing with the left-back (September), right-back (October), two centre-backs (November), left midfielder (January), right midfielder (February), two centre midfielders (March), two strikers (April) and, finally, the manager (May).

Haha, ace.
Griemink, or Frank Talia :D

right, we can rig a whole team of total useless cunts, but we cant be divided. so we reckon bart for goalkeeper or is there any other offers?

we'll lose interest by xmas :)

Jake Findlay

Ive registered.

I'm knitmaster2000.  ;)

OK we have been a bit dormant on the pressure group front so i propose an attack on wikipedia. Any wikipedia page you like. post your editing skills on here, i think all edits should be stfc related and as innane as possible here is my example......

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sheena_Easton

Or like this...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dawn_French#Background

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pol_Pot

I changed this one a few weeks ago and it's still the same.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Georgios_Kolokoudias

We were apparently linked with him at some stage.

:D

good going mex, ive just made an account, going back to the best ever town team, its on left backs now, whos for voting casal?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Colin_Murray#Other_activities

I'm guessing you added the bit about him being into watersports?

Or this bit?

On his current Radio 1 show, he spoke about his dislike for pan pipe music. He also spoke of his annoyance at talking at gigs, as well as his acute fear of daddy long legs. He revealed on the "Vinyl Special" edition of his Radio 1 show on 1 May 2008, that the first single he bought was Agadoo by Black Lace

Oh, no, it got undone. It said "Colin has been seen frequenting the Don Rogers stand on matchdays at Swindon Town FC, he seemingly loves the samosas."

who the fuck deletes these so quickly? is there some sort of wikipedia police, what wankers, deleting is no fun.

apparently they're going to stop people from updating them soon or at least the updates will be filtered first before appearing on the site

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ram%C3%B3n_Castro_Ruz  :)

can you tell im bored :)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Havana

quality

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kasali_Yinka_Casal#Professional

what have you done?

It got deleted. I'll add it again.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kasali_Yinka_Casal#Professional

It said 'On 1 September 2009, Casal left Swindon Town to become the face of Birds Eye Potato Waffles in Nigeria'

very good

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alex_Revell#Swindon_Town

They don't fuck about do they? Your edit was changed 1 minute later!

http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Alex_Revell&action=history

im going to hunt declan davies down

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anthea_Turner#Career

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/6/68/Declan_Davis4.jpg

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gaby_Roslin#Early_life

ha ha, Millicent!

excellent work dave

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Andi_Peters

hahahaha why am i finding these so funny.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/G%C3%A9rard_Depardieu#Biography

simple minds

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Simple_Minds#1977.E2.80.931979:_Life_in_a_Day

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Floella_Benjamin#Biography

They are fucking fast at editing these out!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Crystal_Maze#Format

i reckon we start a hate campaign against declan davies, oh and floella benjamin the tramp stealing bitch.

sometimes, just sometimes this forum can lead to comedy genius.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Timmy_Mallett#Recent_work

Brilliant!!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rick_Moranis#Retirement

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vic_Reeves#Marriage

they are editing some but not all :)

haha. I got told off. I think I'm being watched..

:)

My mum told me off for vandalising wikipedia at the weekend. I should probably stop.

Tee hee, they haven't edited mine yet.

Mine was gone within a minute. Cunts.

I got to 10 mins! :D

Anthea Turner and gabby roslin's haven't been changed yet :)

ramon castro no longer played on the wing for us in the seventies, and havana doesnt seem to be twinned with swindon anymore :(

To be fair, that kind of airbrushing of history (even in this case invented history) is just what the old Marxist regimes of the kind Castro founded were built on. It's almost a tribute to the old cigar chomper.

My favourite is the Andi Peters one. And that is still there!!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bill_Oddie#Natural_history

We need to make a webpage documenting that to get it kept. Perhaps our Swindontownfc.co.uk friend could help us out?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Patrick_Moore#Other_interests_and_popular_culture

you could record it for posterity on uncyclopedia

http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Main_Page

it's meant for such things.

No no no, that's no fun because nobody reads uncyclopedia apart from those who like vandalising wikipedia.

With proper wikipedia vandalising there's always the chance that some poor overworked telly quiz show researcher will lazily see something you've randomly put in, next thing you know the Egg Heads are being asked about Andi Peters' failed application to STFC.

nah, i mean to crosspost it on uncyclopedia as well - that way once the edit on wikipedia is removed, it'll be easy to find elsewhere.

Ahh.. fair enough. I think it would be more in the spirit of The TEF Pressure Group to go with nemo's idea of having it all referencing a posh looking STFC website and then mass reporting people who keep reverting it.

It's a work in progress and I expect they'll take it down soon anyway, but it's a gift from me to you

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Townend_Forum

...they've already put a nasty message on it. I have a right to appeal though. If they allow me to continue with it I'll add more people.

Good work spacey!

:Ride On Fatbury's Lovestick: You've outshone yourself this time spacey.

Superb piece of work!!

how can we keep that up there? maybe the political stance taken in ousting the last board? or our bottomless quest for knowledge of cheese?

This...

Thats the best thing I've read in ages and it also sums me up perfectly. Although my love for Wrestling died out a fair few years ago :D

Fantastic (although I'm not a communist, even though no-one believes me).

In terms of keeping it up there, just call it something different (The Town End), and remove the references to it being a forum. Actually, you'd probably have to do the thing for parallel entries so have two entries "The Town End (stand)" and "The Town End (pressure group)"

love this one

Cowabunga shorts :D

 :soapy tit wank: Good work Spacey, but your own entry seems to have been deleted.

Give that man a cigar...damn good work.

I believe you, comrade...oh, bugger, sorry.

Oh Christmas Tree, oh Christmas Tree...and so on.

my girlfriend is from fetsund, akershus not oslo

That is wonderful. I've saved a copy in case some PhD student with nothing better to do deletes it.

Excellent, even if I am named after pop's 2nd favourite paedo.

If the "hangon" is overuled, can you invoke an "Oi, wait a mo"?

Can't you setup the page about the Townend Stand at the County Ground and just have a bit about when it was built, capacity etc and then concentrate on the forum below? Surely they can't remove that, just say its an internet site dedicated to the stand.

Apologies if this has already been suggested.

They've already deleted it. I'll try again at a later date.

In the meantime, I'll see how long this one lasts.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Boyz_4_Skin

youre bored at work :) the last line made me laugh so much it set off the alarm on my dialysis machine.

Let's run a sweepstake as to how long that one lasts.  I'll give it until 10am on Monday.

that was quality.

Yeah, that's the one. Whatever it takes to get through the day....

can someone send me via pm what the townend one said?

I knew saving a copy was worthwhile.

Brief history
The Townend Forum or TEF is a web-based discussion group that was set up by Darren 'Dazzza' Gadd in 2004. Gadd set up the Townend after the forum that was previously used on the Swindon Advertiser became overrun with what TEFers commonly refer to as 'mongs'.

The Townend is a forum that on the outside looks like a forum dedicated to English League One Football team Swindon Town[[1]] but upon closer inspection it is an area that people discuss a range of topics from 'Frogs are well cool!' and FAO Ralphy!!!!!!!!! to Cannibal Lezzas!!!!!!!.

The forum was taken over by Whits in 2006, after Gadd ran off with an albino called Betsy. The forum is currently run by Barry Scott after Whits decided that he really couldn't be bothered anymore

as at 13.15pm 02/09/2009 The forum had a total of 1126 members who have made a total of 718727 posts.

[edit] Forum members
Glory Hunting Name TBC:
Glory Hunting Name TBC or GHNTBC has posted on the forum under a number of different guises, most notably Yeovil Red. He holds the record for the number of posts pretending that he doesn't really care about football anymore which stands at a staggering 72 in the space of just 90 minutes.

Si Pie:
Si Pie is a hugely popular member of the forum despite being an accountant. He has a staggering 26142 posts to his name, several of which are rumoured to be worth reading.

Talk Talk:
Shouty member who has an obsession with denim. His obsession with the fabric reached terrifying levels after even Status Quo sent him a message asking him to tone it down a bit.

King Of Tonga:
Night club owner and Curator of the Official Bronski Beat museum in Brighton.

Reg Smeeton:
Reg is famed for his encyclopedic knowledge of absolutely everything. More realistically he is known for his ability to be able to use the internet to find answers.

DMR:
Poet, intellectual, wit. David is none of these.

Sonic Youth:
Once upon a time Sonic Youth was an angsty indie shoe shuffler that would show pride in his Irish roots. All of a sudden he scores a girlfriend from Oslo and he's Norwegian.

Spud:
Spud got his username because he has the mental capacity of a potato. He also enjoys being roasted.

Dave:
No responsibilities, minimal outgoings, still in his 20's. You'd think he'd be happy. No chance! And he likes wrestling.

Fred Elliot:
45 year old man with the mental age of a 10 year old. Can sometimes be spotted skateboarding around Swindon wearing a pair of shorts that have Cowabunga written up the side.

PaulD:
Paul Davisovski is a lefty, pitchfork waving woman respecter and former chairman of the STFC Communist Party.

FlammableBen
Prolific fictional poster that doesn't actually exist, but lives inside your keyboard.

Neville W
Thread destroying punhead

Tans
Poster that serves absolutely no purpose whatsoever.

Fatbury
Forum lothario. No woman on the forum has been able to resist the charms of this silver tongued predator.....apart from Sue.

Sussex & STFCBird
Like Posh & Becks, Jordan & Peter and Richard & Judy all rolled into one.

Robert T
Founder of STFC's religious wing called Loud & Christ

Don Rogers shop
Potty-mouthed former hooligan

STFC Gazzza
He loves the club so much that it hurts to have to read his continual whining about how much he loves the club. God, he loves the club so much!Please don't ever let him down. Give 100% that's all he asks. Wear that shirt with pride, lads!

OOH!SHAUN TAYLOR
Special mention for OST for his impressive and highly amusing use of sarcasm.

cheers nemo.

i serve no purpose whatsoever, quality

The Boyz 4 Skin one is awesome!

Can someone add 'Sets of dialysis machines' under Spacey's name?

I'm not sure what I found funnier, the wiki (which is awesome) or the Tongan's response.  Well done chaps.

You mean 'Sets off dialysis machines'. Reads very differently otherwise.

Yes, of course.  I was very tired.  :zzz: :zzz:

Boo, Boyz 4 Skin has been deleted.

Amazingly, my Andi Peters (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Andi_peters) edit still remains though.

Following kaufmans heroic efforts to gain a spot at glastonbury i thought i would bring this back to peoples attention....

First up this is i admit incredible nepotism but i would also like to bring this website to the attention of you new mums and dads who have never seenit before,  its fucking ace. This is a website called nipperz with attitude, each month they have a nipper of the month and my nephew sonny is up for the vote, please please vote for him and make Jakes parents think that their kid is really fucking ugly :) thank you glorious members of the TEF

http://www.nippazwithattitude.com/halloffame.shtml

Voted.

Currently:

Jake - 30.77%
Sonny - 69.23%

Get to work TEF 8)

73.33

haha lets try and get it to about 90% cheers guys only takes a second.

I might start doing some wikipedia things too.

Done. 75-25%

75.76%

76% now....

Shit that photo of Frankie Boyle is a ringer for my boss.

75.68%

76

77.2

71

Sonny's now at 80% plus

Slipped back to 77.78. But as a bonus I hacked the website so it now says "Jake blows goats"

(not really)

76.6% with my vote

I voted for Jake cos I'm just too cool for school

78.43%, despite DMR's attempts to scupper it.

80.36%

Congratulations night time tefers, now its time for the daytime people to push sonny up to 90 % :)

http://www.nippazwithattitude.com/halloffame.shtml

80.33

80.65

81.82%

What about if you clear your cookies and vote again  :D

81.64

 :bandwagon:

Does that work? It says it's done by IP address. I don't get technology so may be being whooshed soon...

No it won't (your IP address is the unique address assigned to your Internet connection or in a corporate environment it will be the IP address of your company's firewall/proxy). As P2P works in IT support, it's him who should be getting whooshed for suggesting it. Shame on you, P2P!

82.35% :P

80.82

81.08%

69.75%

82.05% good work people

http://www.nippazwithattitude.com/halloffame.shtml

Sonny now has 82.65% :) if you have voted before over a week ago you can vote again as its one vote a week, lets give jake a complex.

Done.

83.5%

voted. 83.33%

done!

83.96%

84.5%

84.75%

85.0

85.12 %

85.37

Right its the last 24 hours of voting and that little cunt jake has had the tenacity to claw 3 % back. TEF be strong in your hour of need and vote sonny (if you have voted before you can vote again as its once a week)

http://www.nippazwithattitude.com/halloffame.shtml

Just voted.

Even eithout the TEF bias I think I'd have voted Sonny. It's the hip hop pose.

83.12% and counting...

83.44

83.65%

Do they abort the loser?

83.95%

Does that indicate a total of about 330 votes ?

84.15%

84.62% now. 

84.71%. Take that Jake with your stripey bastard legs!

a resounding victory for sonny well done tef, so whats next? how about bens suggestion of constantly altering cj from eggheads wiki page? i shall start .....

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/CJ_de_Mooi

fuck already edited

Edited. :)

Well that lasted less than a minute. Geeky Nazi moderating cunts.