Thetownend.com

This is going to sound really daft or whatever or really irrelevent but want to get it out....

As you may know from different posts that I am in Canada right now. I am here to see my Mum, Dad and Brother who still live over here. When I lived with them I got on ok with my brother but never my Mum and my Dad always worked. This was back in 2002. Me and my Mum always argued etc and shit and well, it was part of the reason why I moved back to the UK. Life was hell etc. Some may say its running away from my problems... Anyway went over to visit in 2003 and 2004 and life was just shit when I was there same problems arose, I basically told my mum to get fucked and I wouldnt bother wasting time and money going to Canada if all I was going to get was shit. I was true to my word and I went back in October last year as I had not seen my brother for several years and he was now old enough to have a drink etc. and things were great but was only a week. I am back now for 2 weeks and return Saturday to the UK. I can honestly say for the first time I will be absolutely gutted to leave here. Finally looks as if all the problems are resolved with my parents etc. Me and my brother have done lots, got on really well had a few beers, got on well with his mates and got involved etc. I would never move back but has anyone else had the same feeling with family etc.? I will be gutted to leave mainly because of my brother who has done everything really, bought drinks etc..... perhaps because we dont see each other much thats why we get on well now? I'm not sure..  I will never move back to Canada as I love the life I have here but just really gutted to be honest that things were not like this before and my parents weren;t cunts to me when I was younger.

The important thing gazza, is that you seem to have moved on, the future is what counts. My father was aggressive and violent at times, and I left home aged 18, disliking him intensely. However, I now realise what a hard life he had to put up with, coming from a big rough family,  fighting in the 1st World War at the Somme, getting gassed, being awarded the Military Medal. He had little money, bringing up us 5 kids, and paying maintenance to another woman. He did any job he could, selling papers, and sweeping chimneys, it must have been very stressful. He had bad headaches often which we did not really appreciate at the time. We were not considerate about his problems at all, which is typical of  kids .
As a father in my turn, I have tried to break the circle of physical and mental violence and aggression, but it is not easy being a parent and I can see why it happens. No excuses, but understand why. I have forgiven him, and moved on. Enjoy your life, the past never happened if you don't want it to.
I am Claire Rayner in disguise....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dWR_qL_mxo0

Would they ever move back here Gazza or do they want to stay in Canada?

Bloody hell...you must be older than Reg!

it looks like being apart has made the relationships better gazza.you've answered it yourself already really.

I never got on with my Dad until I left home. I can remember we had several stand up set too's before I actually left.
Now we get on fine. I think he's mellowed a bit since, but I also appreciate where he was coming from. He worked from the age of 6 til age 65 (farming) seven days a week with just two weeks off that I know off. He never earned a lot & had a family of 5 kids so it couldn't have been that easy.

Coincidentally he told me not so long ago that we almost emigrated to Canada when I was kid, but decided not to. looking at the sate of the Uk today maybe we should have

I believe I am a little older, yes! My first match, aged five, was in 1946! Must be the oldest on here?

Likewise


I never knew how to be a son until I became a father

Ultimately it's always best to try and work things out with family because you can get so much support from each other. Me and my mum didn't really get on very well after my dad passed away but that was mainly down to me being a bit of a naughty sod.

We've since worked a lot of things out and I do not know what I'd do without her, for one, she's the sole reason I am able to continue on my current career path.

May sound ott bud i would be dead now if it was not for my family. As si said the support is the valuable thing. My family disowned me for a while and rightly so but when things couldnt get worse thats when they all rallied round.

Make the most of your family while you have them - having lost both of my parents makes me wonder if I appreciated them enough.

Glad you're happy with them now, Gazza.

Keep your head up Gazza......ware your fucking family now!...seriously most of us have shit at times,we all have stories,,i was braught up in care,foster parents were evil and my sis still suffers badly today......people who know me know what me demons are...or were,its hard work at times but its what YOU  do not what others do that paves your life...UP THE TOWN.

i love my parents more than anything in life, hardly ever had a crossed word with either of them, they were amazing parents when i was growing up and just lovely people all round

Get a room.

Kinds regards,

"Product" of divorce.

 :)

Sound advice. I'd love to have the option of arguing but I can't. Family are everything and sometimes its shit but they're your blood and mostly it comes good in the end.

Thanks guys! Got back yesterday (back at work today), feel great really. Left Canada after 2 weeks with relationship with my mother still in tact, something 7 years ago I thought would never happen! Over the moon right now!