Thetownend.com

Plans to make the new tv series CSI Calne have been scrapped after producers discovered no one has any dental records and everyone has the same DNA!!

to quote Facebook - Calne is the Ghetto of the shire!!

YOU LOVE IT REALLY!!

I lived in Calne 2000-2001 - never again.

This is coming from someone who lived in Westbury for a decade

:)

Every one knows it's the arse ole of Wiltshire

whhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhat!!!

both Warminster and Westbury terrify me!

I don't think I've ever even stepped foot in calne.

I am pure.

you should have come to my Birthday party Ben on the pool inflatable - remember?

CLC RULES!! whoop!

I've done Tour of Duty in both. Fear me.

Calne would be a quiet place, if it wasn't for chav's and drop outs terrorising the Town. Oh, and if they sort the roads in the Centre out.
Shoot the fuckers.

Westbury and Calne in a playoff..... tough one...

Both have large industrial Estates - 1 point each!
Westbury has a nightclub....ICE (Reflections to old skool like me) - 1 point Westbury.
Westbury has a Hardware store - Davies (Trottmans closed recently :cry:) - 1 point Westbury.
Calne has a Sainsburys - Westbury only has Coop - 1 point Calne.
Calne has JFW - 1 Point Calne.
Both have white horses - point each.
Calne has that stupid fucking 'give way but dont take any notice system' -1 point

I make that 4-3 Westbury.....so far.... ???

I always think of Melksham as being a bit 'odd'.

Though I've never been there.

Flash - Westbury SHOULD NOT get a point for having Fleckies - I had the misfortune to visit for the first time in approx 8 years the other week on a hen do - I can honestly say it has not changed one iota in those 8 years other than to become more run down and skanky and full of chavs
RIP Trottmans!

Batch - I Have to drive through Melksham every day twice a day - It is dire to say the least! PLUS I always see all the gear but no idea girl from the gym walking to her work and she repulses me!

However - a bad night club is better than none at all.

My fave was Oscars at Longleat, visisted Gold diggers a few times and the Brunel Rooms....Old Skool Happy days!!!

Does Westbury have a swimming pool??  I think it does...

Yes they do have a pool but Calnes is approx 1 million times better!

Calne is a total shitehole.

I think I might have been there once, does it have a canal?

ummmmmmmm no

It doesn't really have anything

They must have filled it it, looks like it's near Bowood though, I have been there.

The whitehorse is in Cherill, not Calne. -1 Calne

Cherhill is part of Calne?????

I'm not best pleased at this Melksham bashing. It may not be amazing, but its ten times better than Calne! 8)

not so much.......;)

Ah but Westbury's is the countrys longest serving public swimming pool. I don't know why I'm backing Westbury and it's swimming pool - I dislike the town and can't swim.

It seems that all towns have one nearby to berate.....When i was getting pissed on a regular basis in Warminster, Frome was the town to insult...

Strange really, my old mans family came from Frome...

Ahh.. arguing about the merits of Calne vs. Westbury vs. Melksham. What's next? Which is best out of Aids, Famine and Child Abuse?

Or being thrown into a swimming pool with no arm bands in Pullen's case :)

Ive never been to Frome but really hate someone thats from there so therefor detest Frome!

P.S out of Aids, Famine and Child abuse - I think Id run with famine!

Or...Tories, Labour, Lb Dem...etc etc...

But surely Famine has caused more deaths and suffering over the last 100 years than both Aids and Child Abuse. Although aids might have overtaken it now.

Westbury is a Tory stronghold.... I ain't blue, [Hunter S. Thompson] fuck no, not today - thank you kindly! [/Hunter S. Thompson]

Everyone hates someone.  Inter town rivalries get to a stupid extent.  I was once woken on a train by the goot people of watford or some hole like that singing 'we hate tring'.  Im not even sure what tring is.

I've only been through Calne a couple of times but isn't the library there huge? I was slightly tempted to make the trip on the bus to go and have a look but haven't found the time to do it.Doubt it would be worth the effort really,but then what is in life  :(

I doubt its as bad as you lot are making out anyway!But i am from Didcot so my standards are low  :D

Yeah there is a beautiful big new library in Calne - got a big weird metal head thing outside it

Yeah....when are they going to finish that thing....the same time that Woolworths gets completed!!!

I used to coach in Calne.

The kids are little bastards and I once coached a kid with 6 toes. True Story.

 I like Calne...I'm sure I've posted the reasons before now.

 I like Westbury, for its Cement Works, and I like Melksham, for the Avon Sports and Social club.

 The fact that there are many solid STFC fans living in them, merely makes my heart grow fonder.

I never came across many Swindon fans during my time in Westbury, certainly not out-and-proud ones :)

While at school a few had Town as their "2nd team" - they don't count.

So, myself and some of Sade's clan.

I was the only one in my year at Kingdown in Warminster - used to chat to John Atyeo (was htv pundit at the time and maths master) about football.

My brother went to Kingdown, supported Swindon until the Coca-Cola Cup Semi-Final and then all of a sudden supported Manchester United.

I went to The Avenue for a brief time and was in assembly the day the helicopter landed on our field to take poor ol' Atyeo to hospital. He used to watch our school teams.

What?  When the poor sod passed??

Yup, Summer of '93 - for some reason that's how he was taken from his home.

Calne has an canal.

Ah yeah I meant Calne, thought so.

Isn't Sadie's clan, more or less the entire population of Westbury.

There's alot of 'em! I might be wrong, but I believe they're mainly Bristol City fans.

Right... next time I go through Westbury I shall stop off and piss on some prominent location.

What Ian said, nothing wrong with Melksham.

Although, my mum is from Warminster, I lived in Westbury and Oxford, where my brother was born.

It's the best mix.

Anything with Oxford in is clearly not the best mix.

I think my dad quite enjoyed it to be fair.
He used to own a shop up there with me mum, and being a Swindon fan, was always able to give the stick himself.

I lived in Melksham as a lad..boys home called Sandford Place...think its an old peoples home now,can remember ther being a petrol garage nearby ware Macdonalds is now,remember Frank Alford the old Scout master...still knocking about i believe.

Jesus, I really can't believe that in the best part of 4 places discussing the biggest shithole in Wiltshire, no one has mentioned Trowbridge. Its had to go some to beat Calne to the title mind.....

Sandford place is indeed an old peoples home now Leefer (had to ask my dad to which one it was though). No idea about the rest :)

Trowbridge, my glorious place of birth. Trowb is grand scale shit.

Oh how I don't miss living in West Wiltshire.

Lived there too pumbaa..Starfield when i was really young..my obiding memory is the smell of Harris bacon and the somewhat better odour of Ushers brewery...

Cheers...did wonder.

 :Ride On Fatbury's Lovestick:  Calne is ace!

deduct 5 points from Westbury......Calne wins (plus it's closer to the CG)

JFW, I think there is also a pool near St Mary's / St Margaret's but I'm not sure if it is open to the public. If it is then Calne has two pools  ;)

You're right. The St Mary's pool is open to the public

What ever happened to proper pools. I remember when Chippenham had the decent open air olympic sized pool with diving platforms, and it was 5p to get in....we stayed there all day. Used to manage to swallow a lot of dead flies off the water's surface though  :eatkf:

sshhhh we dont talk about St Mary's!! they copy our ideas all the time but never quite pull it off!! tee hee!

Chippenham open air pool was immense - I got a bit scared when I heard last week that the Olympiad (that was built over the top!) was celebrating 20 years of being open! eel!!!

where the hell is the Canal in Calne? I thoguht it was just a river?

Even though it's not used very often, it's still an canal route/end.

I think what this thread is trying to say is...Wiltshire's a bit shit.

(Edit: or the western bit of it.)

I think that is a fair assessment. The closer to Brissle the shitter it gets

So Chilton Foliat is fucking ace?

I've always liked it...rolls off the tongue.

The Wheatsheaf was alright.

Good I'm pleased.  Dates back to the 17th Century you know....has been altered in that time mind.

just fixed that for you.



I spent 6 years at school in Calne, and then 5 years in my first job.

Fuckin Horrible place back then.

I still remeber them knocking down the Harris factory in the middle of town, pity they didn't carry on and level the rest :D

JBS Posh Red? When were you there?

Christ you've been unlucky. That story and living in Peterborough as well. Who the hell did you piss off?

I left in 1981, when they still had North & South Wings.

It must be my penance for being alive to see Town play in the premier league :D

Ah....were you at North or South wing?

I was South! whoop!

Both. 
When I was there the 1st, 2nd & 3rd years were at the North Wing (old Fynamore) with the 4th & 5th years at the South Wing (Old Bentley Grammar). 
The 6th form were split between the two.

'81 (South). Mr Murphy was Headmaster back then.

That was just after I left, can't even remember who was the headmaster then.

I do remember that it was Tippett when I started.

Was Archie (Spencer) still there then?

One of the funniest things I remember from School was getting my Dad to write a letter to Mr Johnson (who was our head of year) asking for time off to go to the Dentist, when in fact I was going to Wolves to the League Cup Semi-Final 2nd Leg.
I remeber Johnson telling me to enjoy the game as he signed off my absence form :D

Some plank ignored me driving through that bit....they put 2 wheels up on the pavement and still hit my wing mirror.
 :banging:

By the way FLASH, what's wrong with "Ironmongers"?

I love Ironmongers.......i am in mourning for Trottmans.......