Thetownend.com

I remember when this forum was first made as an alternative to thisis it used to have many many posters and there was always lively intelligent debate. Now it seems there are just a handfull of posters and very few new topics. What happened? Where did all the good posters go? Did they go back to thisis? Did they get a life instead?

If this problem is ignored this forum will continue to decay, lose members and will go down the sewer the same way as thisis did.

What can be done to save the forum?

It's all under control. Help the Heroes is just a ploy. The idea is to get lots of people in, raise a load of cash, then buy a £10,000 forum, copmlete with flashing lights and a colourful welcome page, in over 2 different languages.

Feb 19th

At 20:57:30.

I blame Malpas.

Its the 25% football, 80% bollocks tag line. There's never 25% football in here!

I came back - everybody left.  A bit like when I walk in to a room.

Banning twats like you would be the perfect start.

Who's the person in your avatar Sarge?

Kingy!

 :oops:

Ah! In his Everton days?

god he was sexy back in the day!  :-[

It started going wrong about November 2005. http://thetownend.com/index.php/topic,7993.0.html

Where is Walrus?

I blame the Manatee!

man has a point

This forum went rapidly into decline on June 16 2007!!!

If you don't like it don't post/read the forum. Problem solved!

Bought any interesting gadgets recently?

Its all gone lovey dovey thats why. No one slags each other or bitches anymore.

...its all too cliquey...

Fuck off Sippo you whinging cockney.

 :cunt:

Ban this racist!

Made many non funny one liners recently?

all too in bred and in jokes. 

Yeah, a few. I figure if you keep knocking them out, every once in a while you'll hit the spot.

So anyway, back to the gadgets?

Well I only reasonably recently joined but I think more people starting threads would be a good thing. Decent ones hopefully.

Obviously I could do this myself.

The problem is that everything has been covered a million times already. More threads about buying a piece of electronic equipment is the only way forward.

I bought duracell batteries for my camera a couple of weeks back. I am VERY happy with my purchase.

Tell me about the camera. Does it take pictures? Can you then look at those pictures as a way of remembering past events?

It takes pictures and then I can view said pictures on a little screen or put them onto a laptop through a wire and view pictures on a bigger screen.

Past events and I have a future events option which is really really handy but I don't really understand how it works and  don't recognise any of the future places or people yet.

Sounds amazing! Can I ask how much the camera cost and have you compared this with other outlets that sell the same model? What I'm getting at is did you get a bargain? If you want to use the smiley that wears sunglasses that would enhance your response.

Think it was around 70 quid and I did no comparison at all. Aren't I mischeavous!!

 O0

I'm really pleased with how this is going.

I've done some research into these kind of discussions and it's important to put some links on every reply. I'll start with this picture of a toaster/egg poacher combo that was developed from technology found on a crashed UFO in Roswell.

http://broccolicity.files.wordpress.com/2008/03/egg-toaster.jpg

 

Wow, i could really do with one of those...

Help ! all TEF posters. I'd really like one of the above gizmos in Spacey's post, but is it possible to get them without the egg poacher part ?

I'm much too idle to do any research myself, so someone please be kind enough to tell me how clever they were in securing said item at the cheapest possible price.  Then perhaps someone else could beat that price ?

Thanking you in anticipation...

How do they get the yolks so central?

For 229 you can get your very own dinosaur!

http://www.wired.co.uk/reviews/gadgets/2009-04/06/pleo-the-dinosaur.aspx

I own one like this. It may not be the same model, but it is made by a chap called Russell Hobbs. It has a setting that enables you to toast bread from frozen! It's like tomorrow's world, but today. I'm not sure how much it cost because Mrs Spacey got it in a sale at Debenhams. I think the comments that satisfied customers have taken the time to leave on the Argos site tell you this is one top quality bread toasting device.

http://www.argos.co.uk/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/ProductDisplay?storeId=10001&catalogId=1500001501&productId=1500357899&langId=-1&engine=froogle&keyword=Russell+Hobbs+Classic+4+Slice+Toaster#tabrev

But what about Gerald from Norfolk who was less than happy with his purchase but was positively blown away by the classic good looks -

"My main criticism is that if only 2 slices are required you are forced to use the front pair of slots. It would have been better to be able to use either set. The degree of browning is not reliable or consistant and the one side browns more than the other. Overall I am disapointed with this product.. On the plus side the looks are excellent."

Well you can't please everyone. Look at what Lucifer from South Yorkshire had to say..

"the toaster is fantastic, we love it it's the best toaster we have ever had." 

and Yvonne from Lancashire..

"This is my first 4 slicer and it hasn't dissapointed me yet. The toast comes out better than all the toasters I have had so far(crisp on the outside but still soft in the inside ). Looks lovely with my stainless steel items in the kitchen. Happy with it"



   

TEF I need your help. I'm not up to scratch with the latest bread to toast vector technology. Has anybody used a "4 slicer"? And if so, what are the relative merits and drawbacks compared with, say, your standard "2 slice" model?

It's not all a happy picture. Local lass Jo from Wilts warns of a potential Health and Safety danger - turns out the toaster gets hot, leading to potentially minutes of crumpet frustration

Surely this 'Richard Morphy' model would ease local Jo's concerns ?

http://www.wilkinsonplus.com/invt/0255031

With the added advantage of being used as a 'Top Gear' prop.

is it 1080 DPI though ?

It is a non-smoking model.

Only a two-slicer though, albeit HD ready. It's all about your four-slicers when it comes to mitigating crumpet frustration. Sadly, the search goes on.

Meanwhile I'm wondering if the govt will give me 2 grand when I ditch my old leaded toaster for a new fuel efficient model.

you see I have this problem with my laptop

In some cases the amount of toast you make can be increased by as much as 100%! I use my 4 slicer regularly and not only does it toast bread, but it also recognises crumpets, muffins and pittas. It also has a switch you can press if you want to access the toast before the timer has finished. This means that you can avoid picking up the toaster and turning it upside down. Crumpets and muffins are quite small in size so even when they pop up they can be difficult to get at. In this situation you can simply use one of these..

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Buster-Spider-Catcher-humane-killer/dp/B000Z2LQ5G

It's purpose is to catch spiders in a humane way by sucking them up. I find that they are also great for sucking crumpets out of hot toasters.

Perhaps Jo can invest in one of these to safely remove hot crumpets from her toaster

http://www.molevalleyfarmers.com/pd5_GARDEN_TOOLS_SPADES[a]FOR_11107_FORK-DIGGING-STAINLESS-STEEL.htm

Whats he got against the front slots???

I normally just stick a knife in and hook them out. Is this a bad idea?

What is the capacity of the crumb tray?

Its a good question.

A toaster works by causing a current to flow through a special type of wire with a high resistance to electrical current. The resistance converts the flow of current into heat that browns your bread. As with any electrical appliance, probing a toaster's innards with a metal item like a fork or a screwdriver entails some risk. You probably think that if the toaster is off, the coils are cool, and no current is flowing, it's perfectly safe to use a handy butter knife to dislodge your stuck Toast Masterpiece. It's true that it's safer than it used to be. If the toaster has a polarized plug and if the outlet it's plugged into is wired correctly and if the toaster designer put the switch on the hot line (the standard practice), then the risk is small. But I still wouldn't recommend it. You might slip and accidentally hit the lever and energize the heating elements. You're also taking the chance that those who installed key elements of the system were as carefree about risk as you are. For example, suppose the outlet isn't wired right and the hot and neutral lines are reversed--in pre-WWII homes, believe me, that's far from unusual. The toaster will still operate, but when it's shut off its coils will remain electrically hot even though they're cool from a temperature standpoint. If you contact the coils, the toaster might make toast out of you.

Inserting a metal knife or fork when the toaster is unplugged isn't recommended either. Although there's no immediate risk of electrocution, you could damage the toaster and create a future hazard. A toaster's heating coils are usually insulated from the metal chassis by a material called mica. Mica is a mineral with excellent thermal and electrically-insulating properties that make it well suited to this application. However, it's thin and brittle and if a sharp knife or fork pierces it and allows the coil to contact the chassis, you could cause a short leading to a blown fuse or, even worse, an electrically hot metal frame that could shock or electrocute someone.

Does that happen often? No, but it happens. The Consumer Products Safety Commission estimates that on average 15 people are electrocuted in the U.S. annually due to faulty or misused home electrical appliances, including toasters. Why take a chance on being the 16th? If toast gets stuck, unplug the toaster, open the crumb door on the bottom, and use something dull and nonmetallic such as a wooden spoon handle to push the toast out from the bottom.

Some other electrical safety tips: Inspect cords periodically for damaged insulation or exposed wire and replace those in bad condition. If you get a shock from an appliance, unplug it immediately and don't use it until you've corrected the problem--and remember, given the redundant safety features of today's appliances, a shock probably means you've got multiple problems, e.g., a faulty appliance plus an improperly wired outlet. Finally, never clean an appliance by immersing it in water--even after you dry it, water can be trapped in small spaces inside, providing a path from electrically live surfaces to metal parts you might come into contact with. The risk might not bother you, but why endanger friends or family?

This can sometimes have the unfortunate effect of mutilating your crumpets. There's no sight sorrier that a mutilated crumpet or a damaged muffin.

I think you're confusing 'scrappage' with 'scrapage' there pauld.

I find fire a much more time efficent way of removing unwanted spiders.

Does anyone have any recommendations for inhumane mini flamethrowers please?  my old school method of a can of lynx deodorant and a ciagrette lighter is very fuel ineffeicient.

Government subsidies for transfering to a new "green" model would be benificial. The environment's not going to save itself you know!

Thanks in advance guys.

Can you hook something with a knife? Surely only with one of those cheese ones with the prongs on the end would be able to be used as a hooking device?

I think I'll grill my muffins in future, just to be on the safe side.

I think you're talking about the now (alas) obsolete  "Arachnoflame 500'".   You may have some luck on EBay ?

A wise choice and they will probably taste much better as well.

Thanks Neville. I'll check it out.  8) 8) 8)

If I can get one perhaps my house will stop smelling of teenage boys and burnt spiders.

Have you tried glade plugins? All you need is a 3 pronged plug socket and your room will smell of fields instantly.

After some research it apprears the 500 model is being replaced by a new 6320 model.

This offers enhancements such as:

-Filiming your arachnid murder sprees in glorious 1080p full HD
-10 gb MP3 Capacity
- HDMI connectivity
- WifI
- bluetooth 6.0

Sadly the much anticipated toaster function appears to have been ommited.

Does it kills spiders?

empty the glade plugin of its field fresh smell liquid on the carpet and replace with arachnoid poison. This will kill your spiders and your carpet will smell delightful thereby reducing the teenage boy smell.

Bobs Oraange - you sir are a fucking genius

Can you cook crumpets in this way also?

Techncially possible, but not recommended unless you wish your crumpets to taste of teenage boys

And if you do, you should hand yourself in to the relevant authorities forthwith

Sadly back on topic, IMO there has been a decline in the quality of posting lately (or should that be toasting?). There just seems to be a distinct lack of fun more than anything. Just the same old football bollocks and pauld, Lumps, Reg and Ironside droning on about political shite (I know what you'll say - don't read it - I don't, but it's still boring).

I think it's because Ben seems to have been a lot less crazy lately. I mean, when was the last time he went out, got pissed and lost all his clothes? Or scratched his arsehole after chopping chillis and then came and told us all about it?

I liked the old drunken late night threads, they used to be fun. If you look back historically at the TEF most of the jovial times were started by Ben. You get the occasional ace thread started by a random TEFer, but Ben was consistent.

I miss all the crazy shit that. I suppose what I'm trying to say is; Ben pull your finger out and be a bit more 2007ish again.

Sussex,you need a pair of these !

http://www.gizmoandwidget.com/index.php?main_page=product_info&products_id=269

I have some and frankly they have changed my life.

Oooh, I got something like that when I bought a wok but haven't used them. Problem solved!

Actually, me Reg and Ironside rarely get involved in most of the political threads, just the occasional outbreak of "You're a Nazi", "You're a commie", "Fuck off and die you old bastard" stuff. The political threads are more your Colin Todds, Phil_S, ganimah etc (e.g. budget thread, various Labour are shit threads etc). But this thread was going quite well as classic TEF until you ruined it :)

I could use the Arachnoflame 6030 to burn labour ministers and post pictures if that would help?

Cheese.

When you have cheese on toast, do you think it's better to use sliced cheese or grated? I'm torn on this as cheese graters are a pain in the arse to wash up, but you can cover all areas of bread with grated cheese. With sliced cheese, all you have to worry about is washing the knife, but you might find yourself with uncovered areas, leaving you with the prospect of the odd disappointing mouthful. Sometimes I get impatient waiting for cheese on toast and put the grill on too high. This means that the bread toasts before the cheese has properly melted. It's always best to grill on a lower setting so the cheese melts to a nice professional looking snack. The potential downside to this is that you could burn your mouth.

Sorry, that's too mild for them. Treason deserves this:

http://www.phrases.org.uk/meanings/189300.html (http://www.phrases.org.uk/meanings/189300.html)

henry viii hung his chancellor (cromwell?) we should do the same

TBF I have policy of not getting over engaged in any of political stuff, OK I'll pass the odd comment about our BNP bredren, but that's it, the odd comment.

This dates back to the formation of the TEF....and I don't think it's changed, and I still regard this as a rather wonderful place...venereal warts and all.

Thomas Cromwell. I think I played him in a school play. Didn't he organise the marriage between Henry and the ugly wife (Anne of Cleves?)? 'enry weren't too chuffed.

I believe you are correct

The tudors are ace.

Especially the welsh branch of the family....

Keep your fucking gay arse football shit out of it you cunt.

So, is the forum still shit or is it good again now?

We all know Ben is quality on here...but cant agree about the others Samdy...Reg,Pauld,Ironside and Lumps,for me there all top posters....Ironside gets alot of stick on here for obvious reasons...but boring he aint....not having a go Samdy but everyone is different.

I think the benefit of a more spacially populated cheese to bread ratio far outway the arse that is the cheese grater clean - especially if you're running one of these bad boys in the cleaning department of your abode:  http://www.amazon.co.uk/60cm-Dishwasher-Stainless-Steel-FDD912X_SS/dp/B00180IR7E/ref=sr_1_9?ie=UTF8&s=kitchen&qid=1240601984&sr=8-9

I admit is it highly unlikely many of you will have seen such a machine before, or ever will for that matter but trust me they're worth it for the cheese grater alone - basically one of these machines will do all the washing up for you at the touch of a button - I even here they are good for cooking salmon, which you could maybe have for lunch after you're cheese on toast breakfast.

Incidentally I'm a fan of sardines on toast, sardines are a type of fish that go well on toast - I believe this is why they were invented...

6 and 3/4"? Thats above average.

Cheese on toast has to be done in slices. The secret is to find cheese that is the same width as your bread, this way it covers the slice perfectly. I recommend Cathedral City and Mighty White as compatible partners.

I also advocate the use of tabasco in a liberal manner (calm down pauld).

Toasters are somewhat hit and miss and I personally have no trust for them. Instead i find a clipper lighter and a few ounces of patience will do a superior job.

Two seperate points, firstly I like my toast grilled but only on one side, try it. You will be pleasently surprised.

Secondly i had anchovies on toast this morning, far superior to toms sardines.

Anchovies are great, so much power in such a small package (yes, I know).

Well done people this thread has restored my faith in the forum :-[

http://www.google.co.uk/search?sourceid=navclient&gfns=1&ie=UTF-8&rlz=1T4ADBS_enGB287GB292&q=welsh+rarebit+pictures

Proper nice cheese on toast.

If I'm making cheese on toast I generally lightly grill one side of the bread, then turn it over and put the cheese on the soft side. When I say put I mean completely cover, no bread should be showing for direct heat transfer.

If it's crap cheddar, then I'll often put a light scraping of english mustard under the cheese, helps bring out the flavour.