Thetownend.com

I've just clocked up:

An £80 fine
A bruised forehead
Some significant disappointment

Epic night  :D

Please do elaborate..........

Spill it then.

I'm guessing he's been done for drunk and disorderly, that carries an £80 fixed penalty fine.

Turned down by a girl (disappointment), so nutted her (bruised forehead), pissed on a tramp (£80 fine).

How close am I?

sounds about right LS

Was the 80 quid related to chucking a rock through DRS's mother in law's window?

Haha quality

£80 fine for going into the womens loo in the union as the queue for the mens was quite long.

The bruised forehead was as a result of my flatmates stacking all the chairs up in front of the door when I came in and my subsequent fall after trying to climb over them.

The disappointment was I miracuously had a bird in tow who fucked off when I went arse over tit.

poor mans walrus

£80 for going in the womens bogs?    What the fuck???

Got to be taking the piss?

you're shitting me?

£80 fine for masturbating in a ladies lavatory - what's wrong with this country can't a man perv in peace these days?

Since when is the mens toilet queue longer than the ladies one?!!!!!!!!!!!

When half of it is out of order I suppose.

  The record of that fine will go onto The Sex Offenders Register.

And there was no queue for the ladies DMR??????

Is there something that you aren't telling us?

gay bar

I doubt it as it was administered by the Uni.

What uni to you go to DMR?

Portsmouth

Enhanced CRB, doesn't need convictions, any suspicious stuff that finds its way onto records will do.

It's worded as Violation of University Buildings Regulations, governed by the University itself. I don't think I'm on the cusp of doing time time Reg. You don't know best about everything me old fruit.

I know going into women's toilets is wrong.....unless invited.

OMG I got in the boys all the time if the ladies queue is too big!

Ive just had a flashback to doing this in some random pub in Malborough on our works Christmas party

 Malborough eh JFW, down Salcombe way in Devon.  You surprise me JFW, I thought you were a wholesome young lady

umm no Marlbrough as in where the posh people live in Wiltshire!!

But I have been to Salcombe and it was nice

I am wholesome Reginald you should know that by now - needs must sometimes and as I remember the ladies smelt of smelly minnie

 I think the posh folk of Marlborough like to have their r's inserted..

 My ex missus had family down Salcombe so used to go there lots...always amused me that a place called Malborough was nearby.

 Smelly minnie....swoon....

Not when it smells unwashed Reg - thats ming! I hope you have never podged anyone with a smelly minnie I expect more from you

 I don't mind some natural scent, in fact it is to be encouraged....too much chemically crap is bad, removes the subtle pheromones.

I know them well, which pub were you in?

Thats not a Uni - its a Poly

I had sex in the womens toilets in kaos. Real class she was. The best bit was when the test came back negative

:) Was thinking the same thing as we drove past signs to De Montfort "University" yesterday.

Yep, was when I went there.

nothing wrong with Polytechnics - I went to Hatfield - was a shit hole though

Granted uni status in 1992 iirc. 20,000+ students would make it a big poly!

Its a uni these days.  Its where I went and stayed on as entertainments manager for another 3 years.  Also they had some seriously shit tv ads.  Reffered to it as 'preparation for life'.  Im still waiting.

ummmm In not sure we went out of ASK then kind of wandered over the road to the right a bit - it was full of old folk

Marlborough is generally full of old folk, from there I can only guess at the Green Dragon.

hmmmmm I think we had to go there as we had a couple of under 18s and they were the only ones not IDing - the toilets smelt of smelly minnies and they didnt have any Rose wine

not my top choice of venue!

You didn't go to the club did you? It's immense in it's propensity to disappoint.

Is that the one above the Cafe? Ive been there before but only cause my Godbrother hired it for his 31st birthday party last year

My mum had 2 glasses of sherry and was dancing to Basehunter - it was all wrong really

Yes, thats the one.

No we didnt make it there unfortuntley! - we got the minibus back to Calne and then I spent the rest of the evening in my bosses bathroom floor

Oh dear. That doesn't sound like fun.

I was slightly ill

What in the name of all that's holy is a "godbrother" ?

I'm guessing the son of her god parents? I'm hoping that I'm wrong.

no your right

is that like a god botherer

I don't have any godparents, but I am one. Isn't that mad?

Also would you be a godbrother if your mum or dad was got parents to them? It's not just a one way thing?

I think you made up the whole god brother thing?

I think maybe I did - I think we made it up at school becuase people always used to ask if we were related

Are you both from Calne? If so, you probably are.

oi! bore off you!!

Fuck off the Azuza's mint

Like a very small mint full of drunk kids, yes.

Can't remember what it used to be called but it's had about 5 names in the last 10 years.

I love the people in chinos and deck shoes with pastel coloured sweaters slung casually round there shoulders