Thetownend.com

Back in the lorry this week..was in North Devon this morning..looked a picture chugging through the quantock hills,very picturesque with the hills white,layered with snow and the sun glistening on the icy hedgerows,took my time and eventually got to my destination...Barnstaple,a nice place but ware time has stood still me thinks.
Soon as i entered the gloomy old mill i was picking up from i knew i could be in for abit of hassle,on entering the goods in area the lorry started to slide as i tried to reverse it,no one had bothered to grit so had some fun trying to turn it around.Then Noddy appeared...the goods in fella who had thick ginger whispy hair and the biggest sideburns ive seen since Supergrass,he looked like Noddy Holder from 70s pop group Slade,every time he talked i kept expecting him to shout..ITS CHRISTTTTTTTTMAS!
What can i do yer for he says,some grit would be a starter i replies jokinly...anyway two mins later he appears with a tub of Saxo salt and proceeds to sprinkle around the wheels...you look like Noddy Holder i tell him,all yer drivers tells me that he grins..ime here to pick up the carpets for Holland i tell him.
He frowns and says,ent nuffin ere fer Holland drive...let me get yers a coffee while i sort it out in thar office...how do yer take it white and two sugars please i reply trying to hide my growing pissed off anger with the time it was taking..five mins later he appears with said coffee,as i look at it he says sorrys about that drive ware outa milk and youll av to av sweetener..why bother asking i thaught!
Relieved he was back out i ask him..you found the Holland job Noddy?...he grinned at his new found fame and says,told yer drive aint no jobs ere fer Holland,just checked all we got in the despatch bay is Carpet for the Netherlands!!.....i didnt know what to say so i just laughed,with that he started laughing which made me start laughing louder...think the Netherlands carpets are for me i said, you sez to me Holland aint none for Holland he says again....luckily for me the boss is now out wondering what the hold up is and informs Noddy to load me up with the carpets,as i prepare to leave Noddy says to me..youze being a driver you wanna stop gettin yer place names mixed up!..and as i slid out of the yard i say i say tara Noddy...his face lights up again and he says....ile give yer fukin Noddy drive now fuk off and make sure yer dont gets yerself lost!

i really enjoy your made up storys leefer :)

Brilliant!

that made me laugh :)

Much like i enjoy your made up life

OUCH

Well you shouldnt diss your elders ( no offence leefer! )

i apologize Mr Leefer, and thank you Miss Angry for putting me in my place

Nice one leefer, keep em coming.

Lick my Arse Orifice thats Devon fer yer!

That's cracking Leefer, you really should keep a record of these stories, you never know they could get published one day!!

Barnstaple eh, I've been there a fair few times, being the biggest shopping area closest to Bude.  Luckily when the Mrs says she's going to Barnstaple her mum usually volunteers to go with her and I head down to the Lucky Kiss in town (snooker club) for a couple of Cornish afternoon socials.

made my morning.