Thetownend.com

This is not a game, this is entirely serious. This thread has been created for the sole reason of giving Maurice Malpas a new name. I feel this could only rebuild the bond between manager, team and fans.

If you have a suggestion on who you'd like Maurice Malpas to become, post it here by midnight. I will then create a poll for everyone to vote on, whichever name wins, I will email the club to let them know which name we want MM to change his name to by deed poll.

RULES

You may only enter once and you can only give a maxiumum of three reasons. You can change his first or second name, or both if you wish! Suggestions should follow this format (as a very quick example):

I think Maurice Malpas should change his name to 'your suggestion here' by deed poll, because:

1) Reason one.
2) Reason two.
3) Reason three.


Remember, this is entirely serious, so no silly names like 'Phil Malpas' or 'John Clarke', I want some decent suggestions. Also if you could refrain from making them derogatory or racist that would be ace.

I think Maurice Malpas should change his name to 'Joe Kinnear' by deed poll, because:

1) You're a cunt
2) You're a cunt
3) Fuck it...........your'e all cunts

Colin Calderwood

1. he is a swindon legend (calderwood not malpas duh)
2. some sections of our crowd are that retarded that if he did change his name they would believe we did actually have Calderwood in charge
3. He will be given a chance here on name value

I think Maurice Malpas should change his name to 'Fisty Discharge McFistFist' by deed poll, because:

1) Reason one.
2) Reason two.
3) Reason three.

I think Maurice Malpas should change his name to 'Theopolous. T. Wilderbeast' by deed poll, because:

1) Cos I'm a fucking love god innit


(yes.........I'm bored)

I think Maurice Malpas should change his name to 'Maureen' by deed poll, because:

1) These slingbacks are fucking killing me

Or call him Mike Hunt

I think he should change his name to Monty Burns

because - a) he looks like him
b) it would be funny
c) maybe ho could go an run a power station and leave us alone?

I think Maurice Malpas should change his name to 'Maurice' by deed poll, because:

1) Some people call him the space cowboy.
2) Some people call him the gangster of love.
3) WOOOOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

He needs a surname which has two syllables and doesn't end in an 's'. Then the fans wouldn't struggle with the "we are <insert new name here>'s barmy amy" song.

I believe this is a major reason why the clever folk of Swindon haven't warmed to him.

I think Maurice Malpas should change his name to 'Kredit Krunch' by deed poll, because:

1) It's topical
2) He could name a breakfast cereal after himself
3) Erm, erm, it's a bit like Kaptain Kremmin

I think Maurice Malpas should change his name to 'Behemoth Kraken Malpas'  by deed poll, because:

1) I like it
2) Reason two same as reason 1
3) Reason same as reason 1 not quite 2.

I think Maurice Malpas should change his name to 'Eddie Cochrane' by deed poll, So that:

1) He finds a girl to love
2) She falls in love with you
3) You kiss and hold her tightly

sure seems like heaven to me Dave  (wap, wah  ooh)

That's a bit tight - he finds the girl, then she falls in love with one of us and we get to kiss and hold her tightly. Hasn't Maurice had a bad enough time off Swindon fans as it is, without one of us nicking his dream lass?

He can have her back when we keep a clean sheet

He should change his name to Paul Sturrock

1) We wouldn't be able to tell the difference in interviews
2) We wouldn't be able to tell the difference in interviews
3) The players might just believe it as well.

  I think the Maurice bit....should be Maureece as in Maurice Greene.

  Then the Malpas bit should become Plasma as its an anagram of Malpas.

I think Maurice Malpas should change his name to Manatee Malpas by deed poll, because:

1) Now others have cottoned onto the manatee goodness it will inspire the TEF hardcore to create other awesome things to post instead of being lazy (like the thought process behind this name was).
2) "We are Manatee's red and white army" is easier to chant than using any of Maurice's current name.
3) We need a big name manager. A manatee is pretty fucking massive.

to Mr Magic

cos a - he is
b - his legendary half time magic turnaround team talks
and c - cos he wears a magic hat and when he saw promotion and the JPT he said im having that WOOOHHH

are you on fucking drugs or what ?

whatever drugs they are, we should had them out on the turnstyle

It might just be the thing to get Ben to come to a game.

So far we have:

Joe Kinnear
Colin Calderwood
Fisty Discharge McFistFist
Monty Burns
Maurice
Kredit Krunch
Behemoth Kraken Malpas
Eddie Cochrane
Paul Sturrock
Maureece Plasma
Manatee Malpas
Mr Magic

Joey Deacon

because i have always wanted to chant his name at football legitamatley

He should change his name to STFC Bart.

Just to fuck with him.

manatee night was great. ahh, nostalgia - it's not what it used to be.

Poll up

DAMN am i to late ?

I think maurice malpas should change his name to John McVicar

1.the players would be scared of him more than the fans.
2.the fan's would be to scared to abuse him at matches
3.Because he would put byrne's gob in its place.

gotta be Field Master General Spac, Joey Deacon FTW

Fisty Discharge McFistFist for me.

Isnt that Steve Mcmahon Colin?

and me - theres a real ring to it

I know it's too late, but Harry Roberts for the same reason

      What's in a name? that which we call a Malpas
      By any other name would smell as Malpassy;
      So Malpas would, were he not Malpas call'd,
      Retain that dear (im)perfection which he owes
      Without that title. Malpas, doff thy name,
      And for that name which is no part of thee
      So There.

STFC_Bard, Malpas and STFC Fans, 2008

Phil Malpas is not a silly name (posted on behalf of Phil "Reg" Malpas who organises our Cheltenham racing christmas bit of a do)

when the deadline for voting - Is the new name going to be annouced before the match tomorrow?

The deadline is when I log on tomorrow morning.

A vote for Fisty Discharge McFistFist is a vote for justice. And Fisting.

None of the above.

Sorry the competition is closed for new entries.

hahaha deacon is leading. hail to the spazzers.

I've decided that this poll is a waste of time and I'm going to email the club Malpas' new name:

Clueless

Did they Email you back?

How about Malpasfuturewife?

euuuuuuuuuuw NO!

After these next 6 games i think we may have some harsher options on yje list

Oct 18 Southend (A)
Oct 21 Northampton (H)
Oct 25 Oldham (H)
Oct 28 Walsall (A)
Nov 1 Scunthorpe (A)
Nov 15 Leicester (H)

I couldn't be bothered to email, I'll let them up top know at the AGM.