Thetownend.com

was out last night for a few drinks with a mate and few girls who i've known for years, was introduced to a new girl from their work, she was filthy, saying all sorts to me, i turned her down, she goes over to some a couple of massive black dudes who were her brothers mates apparently, fuck knows what she told them because i didnt do nothing wrong, wasnt nasty in anyway just said i didnt wanna go to her place, so i go to leave later in the night and get fucking battered by 3 black blokes 5mins down the road, someone called a ambulance was in hospital over night, bruised ribs, swollen eye, lips all fat and cut   :cry: :cry:

Poor JPC :(

Poor girl who got pied by JPC :(

I take it you have you reported this to the police?

Where did this happen jpc ?

Did they catch the cunts on CCTV?

walking from old town behind longs towards county ground sorta way

Should have done each black fella one by one.
Sounds like a bloody good night out to me.

Shit dude that's bad.  Like Ossie says I hope you've reported it to the coppers.  

On a separate note I heard about a crash on Commercial Road yesterday, some 19 year old in a BMW drove into a lamp post, apparently due to another car swerving in front of him, anyway this lad gets out of his car and goes mental at the other car driver, starts slagging him off, saying you shouldn't be driving at your age, getting really personal like, the other driver was 62, not really that old to make age an issue.

Anyway he was blaming the older fella, but after hearing about what happened, it sounds like to me that the bmw driver wasn't keeping a safe distance behind the other fella, so I doubt whether he'll be able to claim against the 62 year old.

The young lad was being well out of order.  Whadda c....

Anyway TCP hope you're feeling a bit better, I got nutted when I was 19, does you the world of good in the long run, makes you a bit more savvy.  The world is not your friend at times.

Exactly right.
Speedy recovery TCP.

ive been whacked a few times but have deserved it in the past so my own fault, but ive been through some personal issues which changed me quite a bit and to get batttered for no reason does fucking bother me!!

Go to the place this girl works and tell her in front of everyone what she did....then tell the police what happened and they will make a decision on what to do next.

At least your all right it could have been a lot worse,If they catch them they wont do anything.

That's fair enough fella, understandable.  In that case may sure if the coppers track these fuckers down you press charges and take 'em to court.  Wankers.

That's shit JPC, hope you report it and they get what they deserve.

What Batch said. You have reported it I assume?

Which pub?

Whoever was working the door last night will probably be of some assistance if these lads were locals.

when she told the blokes that was in longs, but i went to mckenzies and the spot after that, dunno if they were there aswell or not

no, nothing will get done anyway, had a text from a mate when i got home this morning saying he thinks he knows who they were and 'will sort them out'. Told him not to bother, its not worth any of my mates getting in trouble over it, ill just forget it now

I found all that rather amusing JPC sorry dude.

Getting battered is shit. I almost talked my way into a right beating from a loat of Navy last night. The perils of living in Portsmouth I supose.

 You in Pompey DMR, one of my old stomping grounds.

Yeah just through my first week of yoooooooooooni.

I love it down here.

Surely you had no choice but to report it - an overnight stay at the Great Western for being assaulted comes complete with a free consultation with one of the local bobbies doesn't it?

nah i didnt see one, i just fucked off when i woke up pretty much, maybe ill get a call later on

Hope you are feeling better

That's shit, jpc...but if it makes you feel any better you were damn right about Jason Manford...very funny on Thursday, just as you said.

i want my fucking 75p back, they said they were going to finish you off.

Haha

Told you that you would get your face body slammed into pavement

haha ^^

As long as your ok jpc then thats the main thing

Oh yeah and that

Ive had fuck all sleep, hurts just breathing with the state of my ribs at the moment, let alone sleeping

Broken ribs are a cunt, It must have taken about 2 years for mine to heal properly and you have to be careful as the slightest knock and you are back to square one again.

Morpheine was my friend on occasions, sometimes the pain meant that I couldn't breathe without it.

Luckily mine were only severly bruised, still a cunt tho

Don't catch a cold. Sneezing and coughing are real bitches then.

And try to avoid humorous situations as well - I had cracked ribs and hurt like a bastard whenever I laughed for about six weeks

Yeah so I suggest uou avoid any situation that may potentially make you laugh, so I think a non stop looped video of Russell Brand Live will do the trick, that should gaurantee several days of being totally pain free!

Russell Brand's stand up is brilliant!!

Nah JJ is right.

You want to watch something by the late Richard Pryor to see a genuinely hilarious stand up routine.

 Being a Town fan seems to be a humour free zone at the moment, I think it could be something to do with incipient economic recession. 

 I read somewhere once, that UFO sightings increase during times of recession, I was talking to woman the other day, she's a partricularly miserable cow, who was giving me a story of strange lights near Lyneham.

 It's probably only a matter of time before someone like Bart, TCP, or Dell Boy...reports getting abducted by aliens, who bear an uncanny resemblance to Maurice Malpas.

I reckon if aliens did abduct Bart, they'd throw him back. "Sorry, boss, we found one and were all set to carry out intricate and bizarre experiments on him but he was such a miserable sod, he was doing our heads in"

Makesure you report it to the police asap then you can make a claim thorught the cica. If you want to talk thourgh how to make a claim etc I would be happy to help. I am sure there are a few people on here who I have help and can confirm that when it goes to work I am not a cunt.

pm your number and I call you monday.

GFM gave good advice when helping Birdy out with a dispute with her horse insurance company.

I still think he's a cunt though.

:alien:
Remember me, I'm back!!!!! :bye: :bye:

Dell are you quoting Randy Quaid in Independence Day? If so, lovely stuff :D

GFM what sorta region we looking at for a claim? cant really be arsed to go through it all unless its really worth it

Ive got 2 mates who have been layed off by Nationwide having been there since school. One is usually mild mannered, but currently wants to get round the back of the North stand and vent the spleen against Mo Malp.

Had noticed that the UFO sightings have been very quiet for 10 years or more. But they are back now, started with the ones in Wales.

JPC, Ash had something simmilar to this. Bankrupt the fuckers. You dont owe them anything.

 There you go, I hadn't heard anything about the Wales sightings.

  I've heard a little whisper that AF is a bit disappointed with Town's support, and considering getting out while the goings good....apparently Michael Knighton is interested in buying back into football.

 

fucking cunt, just sneezed 5 times in a row, cunting fucker

Michael knighton haha i suggest we get the i love malpas banners out then

Based on what your first post described maybe 3k-4k but the very least a grand and if you can't be arsed to fill in a 9 page form for a grand you earn to much or are just lazy. I'll provide better estimate on monday I need to be at work to look at the excat taffair you fall into.

bushey got is nose broke and if he ever fills in the fucking form I can get him 3k but he just can't be arsed either that or he is so rich having housed half of poland that he doesn't need the money

He will need it when they all fuck off and hes left with faeces stained carpets.

Honestly, JPC, they are scum. The OB wont make them pay.

for a grand to fill a load of forms and deal with loads of phone calls no doubt i cant be arsed, thanks for the info though

Do it or i will break your other ribs :-)

In that case you need to go to said nightclub and wrap a crow bar round his head.

if it really happened

Its not the attitude id have if Id been beaten up, by two black blokes for no reason.

Has to be said he is the worst attention seeker/woman stalker on here, so I wouldnt put it past him.

fuck off, for all the hassle id have to go through for grand? thats fuck all, and to make it up? im sure i could come up with summat that makes me look great rather than me getting my face smashed in

Jeez, all I said was I wouldnt put it past you because youre an attention seeker.

Calm down.

If everyone had that attitude nothing would be achieved in life.
You got to get these fuckers sorted out, you know the bird who got them to do it..that's a lead right there. She can be questioned by police, eventually you'll find who these blokes were and they'll be sorted out. Cunts like that don't deserve to breathe the same air as us.

Was she a minger? ;D

In fairness it doesn't sound like that much hassle to get a grand. Besides, I'd assume you need something to do as you'll not be able to do much with bruised ribs.

Donate the money to charity if you don't need it. Maybe give it to the ward you were kept in.

If the girl was 'filthy' and saying 'all sorts' to you JPC, why the fuck did you turn her down?? I'd have fucked the arse off her a couple of times and kept her knickers as a souvenier, just to be social like 8)

Sounds like the black dudes followed you around and waited for an opportunity to slap you. What the fuck did you say to her to make them so determined?

He said 'fuck off you black bitch i aint touching you'

nah, it was "can't touch this" then he produced a pair of oversized shiny trousers and did the mc hammer dance.

Why would you turn down £1000 for about half-an-hours work?

The forms GFM sent me were worse than a police statement.  Mine is currently going through court.

You must of said something, my feeling is you touched her in an inappropriate place

I wouldn't call Old Town inappropriate...oh hold on a sec....

So if we want to know what you look like, we only have to go to the game next weekend and look for the cunt thats battered and bruised?

Nah only jesting.

Seriously though that is a bit of a fucker. Speak to Ralphy, he got a massive kicking a few years back and ended up with 5k i think, but it got thrown out of court.

Ralphy looks like matty etherington

I hope your OK? I hate fighting

Good news about Jason Manford though Donkey! going Friday so excited 

They are not that big half off the question do not apply! you are just lazy!

I have looked at the rules etc and you are on for at least £2000. If you can't be arsed to spend a few min filling in a few forms and speaking to me every now and then, you really are a lazy gob shite!

So whats bigger, JCB's ego or the kicking he recieved?

maybe he is a little worried about a backlash from these people.

Ypu keep abusing me and you will have to claim for your nose, remember the jab in Watford that night

lucky punch now put that nose away before you take someone's eye out!

cos im very fussy about who i sleep with, and i didnt see them in mckenzies or spot so dunno if i was followed or i just happened to come across them later on by coincidence, as for Ash, i didnt touch her in a inappropriate place!

sounds like JPC'S mouth has got him into trouble - what a suprise - maybe he should think before he opens it

i didnt though mate, if i had said something out of turn then i would moan about getting a kicking, i would have deserved what i got

fair enough - I reckon you should go back tonight and touch her up then - at least get your money's worth for your bruises

thats the point, i didnt want to touch her up, hence getting my face twatted in

I hope you missed the Secret Policeman's Ball last night, as he shortened a routine and it wasn't as good.  I'm sure you'll have a great time.

Funny actually I did watch that - I sky plused it so I could fast forward all the crap

Ive seen Frank Skinner and Sean Lock recently and they both just did shortened bits of there stand up show

what the hell was that weird women who asked that man to marry her????

Don't slag off her!!!  She's from Flight of the Conchords!  She was in character.  Worst of the SPB was that Iranian, she was terrible.

Eddie Izzard was pretty good though and I like Mitchell and Webb's sketch about the Nazi's brilliant, funny because I always wondered if the germans thought about their dodgy emblems at the time!

Was it this M&W routine? If so it is their best.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JEle_DLDg9Y

Can't see the YouTube video, but it was the sketch with the "are we the baddies? we've got skulls on our badges so we must be baddies."

Yeah the baddie routine, spot on!!

"Do you watch films"

"Yeah"

"Well so do I, and that worries me too....."

I havent got that far yet!

Jermaine Greer rambling on put me off

So did this all get sorted out?

Is JPC going out tonight?.....

He got them back 1 by 1 by manner of knee strikes and shit

no im not up to goin on a night out, dont fancy another kicking just yet

oh :(



that was only a joke, i love you reakky pvx87

Do you really really really really really really really really really really love him?