Thetownend.com

Go on, you know you want to. Make a snide remark to that overweight work colegue. Don't do your job properly so someone else gets extra work. Hide all the staplers. Unplug peoples mice. Take a shit in the coffee machine.

Give in my demands for evilness. do it now.

oh and then post about it.

I'll struggle, seeing as I'm still in bed. Evilness is best achieved after the days shower, I find.

I was evil yesterday.

My daughter had a helium filled balloon and she was doing my head in with it, and so cut the string and let it float to the ceiling where she could see it but not get to it. (I can't find a smiley evil enough)

I just went for a massive poo and didn't flush!

When a jehova's witness bloke knocked saturday morning i told him i could not talk as i was on my way to get a blood tranfusion.

Is that evil?

I had the JoHo's round on saturday too. I can't bring myself to be horrible to them though.

I had an hours long conference call this morning before I left for work, I played out the whole hour with SSN on in the background.

It brought some comments from my German counterparts, of which I denied

Fuck em

Some Polish bloke told me I should go to specsavers so I told him he should go back to Poland. Not really evil I guess but he was offended by it.

I can!  If I wanted to be one, I'd be one but to knock on the door and try and encourage me takes the p*ss!

Theres only 2 of us in today - Im giving sue loads of work as she hates taking comands off people younger than her - I meanwhile am Chatting to friends on Ebuddy

Do you actually do ANY work Charlotte ?

sometimes - like when my boss is here

I worked all day at the sports centre yesterday so Im tired and my back hurts from mopping the sports hall floor - even though we mopped our names in massive writing then looked down on it from the viewing area - it was like art attack!

I just signed off court papers that will repossess a 75 year old widow's house all over a debt of £300 I was going to accept her offer to pay it off at £10 a month but ben your post made me change my mind.

Let this be a lesson to you all that your posts on the townend have real life repercussions

Good evilness.

I've put holes in our nappy sacks for when sussex takes the dog out

Ive dropped a bowl on my foot and smashed it!! mind you the only person that was nasty too was myself!!!

Not intentional and so it doesn't count.

Ive now bitten my tounge really hard oooooooooowwwwwww

This blokes mate wont be too happy this morning:

http://news.uk.msn.com/odd-news/article.aspx?cp-documentID=9826115

Whilst GFM's old lady life ruining has been the most evil, Birdy's dog poo holes have got to be my favourite nasty thing so far. Come on people. Make the world a worse place.

I also shaved my minge with his Mach 3 last night

Isnt Mach3 a lawn mower?

It's a scottish Flymo.

sorry I did something worse I sued a dead person knowing full well the person was dead. I should have sued another party but as this chap died in the accident I knew I wouldn't get a defence so sued him as it was easier. Just had his widow on the phone crying saying i brought it all back to her. I suggested she should be cross with her husband as he was the one who drove recklessly thus killing himself and damaging my clients car. She was getting on my nervs so i told her that she needed to deal with summons or I'ld instruct balifs.

okay okay I am feeling guilty now for being evil. Therefore I am going to justify it.

1. It's my job i have no choice.
2. My clients instruct me what to do, therefore it was there choice not mine.
3. If these people had insurance they would be paying the claims not my fault they broke the law.
4. Fuck it I don't care.
5. The old lady will die soon what does she need 3k for?
6. the widow is already sad and lonaly. How much more depressed can she get?
7. I blame my parents for divorcing therefore leaving me cold and unabel to feel.

Please can some one so it was okay?

You have a brilliantly evil mind GFM.

 :Ride On Fatbury's Lovestick:- if he has a go at you - you can just tell him he should be grateful you shave it and keep it nice and not let it grow let a big bush!! 

Oi. shut your noise Hand! I made a sausage casserole with roast potatoes to die for tonight. Should have crapped in hers  :P

alright fair enough - I wish my boyfriend could cook!

I quite enjoy it tbh, don't tell Birdy though! Chicken chasseur tonight, yum.

You don't need a boyfriend who can cook JFW, you just need one with OCD.  Quids in.

If I asked you "can I be your boyfriend?", would the answer be the same as the answer to this question?

She's mad if she turns you down Ben, I wouldn't ;)

ahhh Ben If I was single I would go out with you!

you are funny and can cook - do you have good personal hygene and a big willy too?  ;)

Booo. You didn't fall for my clever word logic.

I didnt really understand it if I honest - come on Ben Im not the sharpest knife in the draw!!

no worries.

My personal hygiene is big and my willy is good.

But Im quite high maintaince?

plus will I have to buy you white ace and fags all the time?

yep

To be honest JFW, I think I'm a bit out of your league.

Yeah I think you are

A girl can dream...........  :cloud9:

I just had a woman on the phone at work who didn't want to speak to me and immediately asked to speak to a manager or somebody else who could help her because "we've spoken before and had a clash of personalities".

What a fucking bitch, I'm going to shit in an envelope and post it to her.

I've had that sort of call before Sam, a couple of years ago, although in fairness I was a reet miserable sod in my previous job as I hated it. 

Say Something Nasty by Nashville Pussy - damn fine album.

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=bFcoSYuYSLE

hahaha, one of my flatmates just texted me the following:

what are the mccann family getting for christmas?

a smaller turkey!

that's quite nasty

It's rubbish. Doesn't make sense. She was missing last Christmas to.

I bet she doesn't eat enough to warrant a smaller turkey.

I pissed on jcp's bonnet

Was he wearing it at the time?

No that was diana.. Sorry