Thetownend.com

I'm really busy procrastinating.

I might do some of that, but on the other hand ................

My manager is off today. So far me and my work mates have discussed what our ultimate car collection would be if we were multi-millionaires and also some pondering over tomorrow's football bets.

And there's only two-and-a-half hours to go 'til home time, yipee!

You can have as many as you want Bazzza.

Mine was:
Lamborghini Gallardo
Ferrari Spider
Aston Martin DB9S
Porsche Carrera GT4RS
Cadillac Escalade (just to be a bit 'pimp')
McLaren Mercedes SLR
Bugatti Veyron (and a 10 mile stretch of tarmac)

Feeling bored in the office?  Looking for something new and exciting to do?

Why not initiate an office dare system – however to do it properly only you are allowed to know the dare.  Sound confusing?  Well read on . . .

One Point Office Dares

(1)   Run one lap around the office at top speed.

(2)   Groan out loud in the toilet cubicle (at least one other 'non-player' must be in the toilet at the time).

(3)   Ignore the first five people who say "good morning" to you.

(4)   Phone someone in the office you barely know, leave your name and say, "Just called to say I can't talk right now.  Bye."

(5)   To signal the end of a conversation, clamp your hands over your ears and grimace.

(6)   When someone hands you a piece of paper, finger it, and whisper huskily, "Mmmmmm, that feels sooooooo good!"

(7)   Leave your zipper open for one hour.  If anyone point it out, say, "Sorry, I really prefer it this way".

(8)   Walk sideways to the photocopier.

(9)   While riding in the lift, gasp dramatically every time the doors open.

Three Point Office Dares

(1)   Say to your boss, "I like your style" and shoot him with double-barrelled fingers.

(2)   Babble incoherently at a fellow employee then ask, "Did you get all that, I don't want to have to repeat it."

(3)   Page yourself over the intercom (do not disguise your voice).

(4)   Kneel in front of the water cooler and drink directly from the nozzle (there must be a 'non-player' within sight).

(5)   Shout random numbers while someone is counting.

Five Point Office Dares

(1)   At the end of a meeting suggest that, for once, it would be nice to conclude with the singing of the national anthem (extra points if you actually launch into it yourself).

(2)   Walk into a very busy person's office and while they watch you with growing frustration, turn the light switch on/off 10 times.

(3)   For an hour, refer to everyone you speak to as "Bob".

(4)   Announce to everyone in a meeting that you "really have to go do a number two."

(5)   After every sentence say "mon" in a rally bad Jamaican accent.  As in "the report's on your desk, mon".  Keep this up for one hour.

(6)   While an office mate is out, move their chair into the lift.

(7)   In a meeting or crowded situation, slap your forehead repeatedly and mutter, "Shut up, damn it, all of you just shut up!"

(8)   At lunchtime get down on your knees and announce, "As God is my witness, I'll never go hungry again."

(9)   In a colleague's diary write in: "10 am – See how I look in tights".

(10)   Carry your keyboard over to your colleague and ask "You wanna trade?"

(11)   Repeat the following conversation 10 times to the same person: "Do you hear that?   "What?"  "Never mind, it's gone now."

(12)   Come to work in army fatigues and when asked why say, "I can't talk about it."

(13)   Posing as a maitre d', call a colleague and tell him he's won a lunch for four at a local restaurant.  Let him go.

(14)   Speak with an accent (French, German, Porky Pig etc) during a very important conference call.

(15)   Find the vacuum and start vacuuming around your desk.

(16)   Hang a two-foot long piece of toilet roll from the back of your pants and act genuinely surprised when someone points it out.

(17)   Present meeting attendees with a cup of coffee and biscuit, smash each biscuit with your fist.

(18)   During the course of a meeting, slowly edge your chair towards the door.

(19)   Arrange toy figures on the table to represent each meeting attendee, move them according to the movements of their real-life counterparts.

Now we're onto a new game:

In the end, when building my ultimate car list, i started browsing cars to see if i'd missed any. It was getting silly i have work to do.

As my list became huge, i have selected a list below of a few picks, only super desirable to limit things a touch. :D


Audi R8 MTM R888 (888bhp turbo charged R8, as quick as a Veyron)
Bugatti EB110 Supersport
B Engineering Edonis (for insanity's sake)
Lamborghini Murcielago R-GT
Lamborghini Gallardo LP560
Lamborghini Reventon
Alfa Romeo 8C Spider
Alfa Romeo RZ
Alfa Romeo 1300 Junior Zagato
Alfa Romeo Giulia GTC
Jaguar XJ220
Ferrari F430 Scuderia
Ferrari F40
Dino 246
Ferrari 375 Scaglietti
Ferrari 250 SWB Calfornia Spider
Mercedes SL300 Gullwing
Lancia Stratos
Porsche Carrera GT
De Tomaso Mangusta
Honda NSX

In the end, when building my ultimate car list, i started browsing cars to see if i'd missed any. It was getting silly i have work to do.

As my list became huge, i have selected a list below of a few picks, only super desirable to limit things a touch. :D


Audi R8 MTM R888 (888bhp turbo charged R8, as quick as a Veyron)
Bugatti EB110 Supersport
B Engineering Edonis (for insanity's sake)
Lamborghini Murcielago R-GT
Lamborghini Gallardo LP560
Lamborghini Reventon
Alfa Romeo 8C Spider
Alfa Romeo RZ
Alfa Romeo 1300 Junior Zagato
Alfa Romeo Giulia GTC
Jaguar XJ220
Ferrari F430 Scuderia
Ferrari F40
Dino 246
Ferrari 375 Scaglietti
Ferrari 250 SWB Calfornia Spider
Mercedes SL300 Gullwing
Lancia Stratos
Porsche Carrera GT
De Tomaso Mangusta
Honda NSX

Ive been trying to catch up on emails from my week off and am going to my boss' house tonight to have margheritas and get smashed.  Its ace!

Sleep your way to the top!

My boss is female...