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is it wrong taking a newspaper into the bog at work, alerting everyone you're going for a tom tit?

nope, do it all the time

Standard practice here !

I just came out after about 20 minutes and some of the ladies were looking at me funny. It's not as if I'd had a dangerw*nk...

the gays do it! though normally its an events magazine rather than the daily sport mind!

The Sun for me usually. Unless it's a long poo, in which case I'll take the independent.

I remember being caught short at the Wanborough training ground once and had to go there. When I finished I came out of the bog to find bertie brayley literally waving his c*ck about.

It was massive, to be fair.

Was Bertie Brayley a bit "special" Juddie as he played for the handicap England side?

I share the stalls with company directors one who regularly takes the financial times in with him but I wouldn't feel happy having a good read at work.

There is a distressing large number of copies of Nuts and Zoo left in the toilets at our office. There really isn't enough to read in either to sustain any kind of motion so... unless...  :puke:

The lady I work with here takes her book and is gone for ages. Ahe moans at me for neing late to work in the mornings, I'm dying to tell her It's because I don't take shit breaks, but I don't think I've been here long enough for that!

you know ladys pooing at work gets on my wick too birdy!!

you work with Lady?

I DONT UNDERSTAND HOW YOU CAN HAVE ENOUGH TIME TO READ A PAPER

Only if you wipe your Butt with it....then return it.

Me neither. I'm a get in, drop a log, straight back out kinda bloke.

You on the piss again tonight Dave?

Its perfectly acceptable to read the paper while having a crap. If you've got one thats still "brewing" a bit then read a good few pages while you get your muscles going. Even better than a paper is a good book. Keep one in your bog so as you can read a few pages while giving your crap the respect it deserves. Don't rush it. Chill out and get educated at the same time.

Nothing beats reading the paper whilst having a shit. I often save my shits untill evening or untill I get home so I can have a huge shit and read the paper pure bliss. Even my missus takes the paper in when she is pruning the roses after all she does'nt shit.

shit can be over dead quick, I just like sitting there and reading the paper!!! Sometimes I try and prolong them, trying to keep itm going when it's clearly finished.

Anally retentive, the lot of you :doh:

In true Desert Island Shits style what would be the five publications you would take to a deserted Pontius Pilate?

1. Rogers Profanisaurus - Every porcelin throne should have a copy
2. News of the Screws - Does Sunday get any better?
3. Filth Irvine Welsh
4. A Brief History of Time Hawking - Just for show in case you have guests round
5. The Beano

Stephen Fry - Paperweight - no matter how long a dump there is a chapter to suit.

Razzle

Does that not cause logistical issues tans while sat down, emptying?

Its for when youve emptied, so you can stay in even longer. Just hide it in your newspaper ....

You'll get hairy palms....

If only for the 'ginger stepchild' reference.

I'd look it up but go an fella...

as in - 'beaten like a...'