Thetownend.com

Right whats the funniest thing you have Personally seen not on telly but actually seen.

Mine was probably when me and a mate were riding down the bike track near the Oasis,we had just come under the brige and it was pitch black then all of a sudden I heard a yelp and a crash.

Some bloke was walking his dog with one of those extended dog leads and my mate rode straight through it and screaming like a bitch.

Obviously you had to see it yourself but it still brings tears to my eyes

The thing that's made me laugh most over the last week was standing behind two old dears in Sainsburys in Sheffield whilst one talked about the lovely lamb chops that her daughter had cooked her on "her George Formby grill".

I just stood behind them shaking slightly biting my lip with the odd tear running down my face. i must have looked a bit mental.

:Ride On Fatbury's Lovestick:

Stood in Sainsbury's while some young girl (5 years old maybe?) was arguing with her Mum. The Mum said "I put you to bed early last night and i will do again tonight, if you don't behave yourself", The daughter explained she stayed up anyway, and as some kind of validation explained "I sneaked downstairs and saw you kissing Daddy's willy".

At least that's the way i remember it.

Back in the day on our trampoline in our old back garden, me and my brother used to "launch" our younger bro... basically if we jumped hard and he timed his jump to land just after us 2, him being smaller, the rebound effect would spring him about 4 times as high. We did it once and he went to so high he gradually starting turning through a back flip motion, got halfway round landed head first into our pond (having missed the trampoline) at considerable speed.

Alternatively, in DT at school our teacher used fucking me and my mates, so when she went out one afternoon from our woodwork lesson we climbed up on the desk and nailed her pencil case to the inside of those skylight dome things, watching her trying to find it at the  end of the lesson was classic  :Ride On Fatbury's Lovestick:

I remember once we stuck a few prit-sticks to the ceiling and sat there in anticipation of one falling on the teacher. How they stuck there for the whole hour I will never know  :evil:

was that Mr Tuckers calls by any chance?

one time at secondary school in a science class (with a teacher i can't remember!!! desburough i think?) we got everyone to duck down under their table whilst her back was turned writing on the black board.

she was talking away thenm she went quiet as she looked round. she seemed to be stood there for ages before she said we could get up now and it wasn't funny.

i'm sure she thought we'd all sneaked out  :Ride On Fatbury's Lovestick:

on saturday i saw a guy wheelie straight through a wooden fence into a van on a motorbike doin about 25. pure comedy. incredebly he thought so aswell.

My gran on a vibrating bed in america, we put some money in when she wasn't looking.  She had a fit of giggles whilst not having any teeth in and wearing her bed cap to cover her hair which was in rollers.  You had to be there though. bless.

I have a simple workmate, Tans you know who I mean.

Anyway, I can real off a huge list of things this guy has done or said that are comedy gold.

One morning we were all stood outside in the yard having a cuppa when said simpleton comes strolling out. He notices the new style Transit van is blocking his van in so he goes back inside to get the keys for it.

He comes backs out, jumps in the Transit and starts it. He then sits there looking at the gear stick in a vague manner for about 2 mins. We figure out that he can't get it in reverse because unlike the Vauxhall vans, you have to lift a button to engage reverse on the gear stick.

We all decide to have a abit of a giggle so I shout ''Oi, those new vans, they haven't got reverse mate, you'll have to push it''.

He then jumps out and starts trying to push a 2 tonne Transit van out of it's space
 :shock:  :o  :soapy tit wank:

That sounds like bullying at work to me!

That’s what I thought Birdy although at my old place I told some girl that she had to say out loud how many pieces of paper she was putting through the shredder as it was Voice activated.

Every 10 seconds you would hear Eight….. Seven……. Six

He's a good mate actually Birdy! We just have fun sometimes!

You have to give and take banter in a delivery office with 50 staff.

I've had some wind ups before.

I asked him what the interest was on his new mortage, he replied ''they weren't very interested''  :soapy tit wank:

I'm not getting on my high horse or ought but I have a difficult time at work through people bullying me in different ways and I was bullied all through school so I don't like to see or hear other people being bullied.

It is good to have banter at work.  In my old job it passed the day but here the banter is borderline harrassment.  :(

Sorry to hear that Birdy.

We have a singing Elvis look a like postman too, he is auditioning for X Factor next week  :D

ha ha ace.

When it was brand new, we used to clean the sliding patio door in the summer then call my little brother down stairs with some excuse like "the ice-cream van's here".
He come running down at full pelt for the back garden and smack straight into the glass - comic genius and he never learnt  :mrgreen:

Not visual but my wife (demonstrating her natural blondeness), once answered in a quiz that "The Gambia" was a newspaper
It still makes me laugh  :mrgreen:

A guy at work said he was out shopping with his Mrs and he spotted a coat and said ''Thats cashmere, good price for that.''

She replied ''I thought it was by them.''  :soapy tit wank:

Singing "Return to sender" no doubt ?

:Ride On Fatbury's Lovestick:

Think the funniest thing for me was STFCTownenda in Amsterdam for the Scotland game. He was shitfaced and tried to get a train to Glasgow with the theory that it must stop in Swindon. :Ride On Fatbury's Lovestick:

Bet I know what his funniest moment is too!

 :oops:

i once overheard a conversation between two old blokes

"alright tom how are ya"
"not bad thanks"
"how old are you know?"
"84"
"oh...............going to die soon then"

it was the casual way they both accepted it that was funny, not the subject itself

shame hes no good.

There was a bloke at my work who was featured in a programme on channel 4: In Search of Mr Average it was called.

I think it's lucky he already had another job lined up before it was shown because we gave him a bit of a ribbing in the week or two after.

Funniest thing ive ever seen is Ralphy at Walsall :Ride On Fatbury's Lovestick:

I'm with you birdy. I was never bullied, but my sisters both received varying degrees of bullying, so people being out of line, can touch a nerve.

I was bullied at school till i was 14 so understand what you say but fine line between banter and bullying and Ralphy is a bully.

Me and a few mates were smoking some pretty strong stuff.
One of my mates was sitting on top of a small wall, complaining that it wasn't affecting him. All of a sudden he just leant back and disappeared.
Although the wall on our sde was only about 4 ft high, the other side had a 15 ft drop. He fractured his skull but was laughing his head off.

Not as much as the rest of us laughed though :D