Thetownend.com

What is it.

I remember once being asked by a brainless wonder:
Why her Karaoke VCD was playing instrumental only, no vocals!!! Even after explanation that it is a fucking karaoke CD, and therefore no vocals IS THE ENTIRE FUCKING POINT, she still didn't get it.

Needless to say that was a short lived relationship.

Funnily enough mine was today a girl at work asked me do they have money in india ?

Or.....

You are standing at a bus stop enduring the sub-zero temperature's that blighty has to offer at times and some mentally challenged twat asks:

Has the bus come yet?

Yes it has come, and gone, but I am not on it because i like freezing to death YOU DUMB CUNT!

Somebody asked me where the fire station was, I asked if they were taking the piss, they said no, I pointed at the big bright red thing parked about 20m away.

With hindsight they could have been partial sighted, but, they weren't!

I was once asked...

....if I was black

Do you Andrew Tuck take this woman to be your lawful wedded wife


Thick cunt that I am replied

"I do"

Would you like a blowjob.

Did you say yes?  :wink:

No

I missed the Son off the end.

BOOM BOOM!  

On a serious note I hate those who ask  in a round would you like a drink when they know full well what the answer is.  You're not shifting any time soon, there is a long night ahead and yet they still ask would you like a drink in the vain hope that you’ll turn around and say something along the lines of “You know what Jim I’m good thanks I’ll sit this one out.  You get yourself one in for the time being while I sit here and watch you drink.”

What language do you speak in England?

That was on Monday over herein Trinidad.

I told them, then said that ruled here once!

 :-))(

I was once at work on a Monday, speaking to my boss, following breaking up with my ex.

The conversation went as follows:

Me: I broke up with my girlfriend this weekend.
Boss: Oh, i'm sorry, are you okay?
Me: Yeah, i don't mind to be honest, which is just as well, because you have the same name.
Boss: What's her name then?  :?

   :Ride On Fatbury's Lovestick:

:goodpost:

I don't get it. You were sleeping with your boss and he/she couldn't remember their own name? Was there drugs involved?

:Ride On Fatbury's Lovestick:

ok harry, let me be the first to say:

LAY OFF POSTS THAT JUST INVOLVE EMOTICONS.

thanks xx

:mrgreen:

http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d35/flammableben/bigcunt.gif

Ooops.

  I thought Harry's good posting emoticon to my Ride On Fatbury's Lovestick was quality....in fact I was tempted to do a good posting emoticon , to his good posting emoticon.

just wanted to see it again, thats all.

If only McCains could market smiley faces like  that.

Hope you don't think my giant emoticon was aimed at you babe, I just felt like posting a giant amoticon.

i think the potato arm with the 'Cunt' sign might fall off in the baking process. otherwise i would buy them.

Pick on Harry day!! :arsekisser:

Not at all princess. Your 10.22 post just came first.

i got it sussex.

and harry, we're not picking - just having fun. we're all cunts too.

 The cunt sign would have to contain a small sachet of tomato source.

ahhh, custard of the cunt. or we could use ketchup.

Mate, I receive as good as I give, don't worry sweetheart.  :kisskiss:

 Or catsup.

scraping the rim there reg.

Don't scrape the ring too sharply.

This is true Reg, but tomato cunt custard is best served with a side order of cheese cloth for cleaning up with afterwards.

I've pissed on AdamAnt.

Thought you should all know now.

did he ask you to?

No. Its a urinal, prefer Adamant ones to Armitage Shanks that's all. Call me a posh pisser.

you're a posh pisser harry.

Thanks

 :soapy tit wank:

  Would that have been Adam Adamant of the 60's cult show?   Dear old Adam,, played by Gerald  Harper had been cryogenically preserved back in Edwardian England and came back to life just in time for the swinging 60's.

 http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/8/85/Gerald_Harper_and_Juliet_Harmer_in_Adam_Adamant.JPG/280px-Gerald_Harper_and_Juliet_Harmer_in_Adam_Adamant.JPG

 I thought it must have been  8) to be called Harper as we signed Dave Harper, who had a good haircut, played 4 games at the start of 67/68 none of which we lost.

  Stand and deliver....

Yeah. What he said. :shock:

Reg's little tag thing of "Walking Encyclopedia" isn't much of an exaggeration. There's a few subjects I reckon I could beat him on, but they'd be ones I'd have to pick.

consoles and games 1990 - 2000.

Yep.

Tony Blackburn's lost cherry bench.

   FB what you like on Ford Consuls 51-62

   http://content.answers.com/main/content/wp/en/thumb/b/b3/250px-Ford.consul.mk1.arp.750pix.jpg

i guessing pretty shit as he was born in the mid-80s.

"what day is bank holiday monday?"

oi, you can't un-derail a thread!

"What's the most stupid question you've ever been asked?"

:Ride On Fatbury's Lovestick:  :Ride On Fatbury's Lovestick:  :Ride On Fatbury's Lovestick:  :shock:

Not really a stupid question, more of a stupid moment.

A couple of years ago when my Dad was on holiday in New Zealand my sister suggested we phone him and ask him for the lottery numbers because they were 12 hours ahead.

I  :Ride On Fatbury's Lovestick:'d so much.

"Can I ask you a question?"

Why do you bring me into this Dazzzza - I have never missed you out in a round.  Bastard!

Which part of china are you from??

why does everyone think Im Chinese?  :cry:

Er? Do you look Chinese?

No!!! well I certainly dont think I do!

I have no chinese in my family at all!

Hav eyou ever had any chinese in you??  :D

now this is a stupid moment.

I was haveing trouble with my internet connections, it lost connection for whatever reason, so i call up NTL and explain what has happend, after explaining it to him, it seemed like as if it was a common issue and he knew just what i had to do.
No lie, these are the words that cam out of his mouth,

"Do you have an email address so i can send you some intructions?"