Thetownend.com

I would like to issue the following apologies in light of recent events

1. I would like to apologise to Mexico red for a story I wrote suggesting that he terrorised a coach load of schoolchildren on their way to The Bronski beat museum in Brighton. I would also like to state that a museum dedicated to 80's homosexual pop group Bronski beat doesn't exist....which must come as a disappointment to Si Pie. I would also like to state my regret that I hinted that Mexico red had connections with gangsters and hitmen, and if he didn't get voted on the Trust board would have people shot

2. I would like to apologise to Si Pie for suggesting that he might be interested in visiting a museum dedicated to 80's homosexual pop group Bronski beat.

3. I would like to apologise to Yeovil red for suggesting that he had won crufts as a pedigree boozehound and that he sniffed his own farts and scraped his arse along the carpet. Also that he wheels his dogs around in a pram.

4. I would like to say sorry to sonic youth for implying that the only reason he went to college was to stand in the library pretending to read French literature in an attempt to catch the eye of a girl he'd seen reading some John Paul Satre in the canteen.

5. I'd like to offer my sincere apologies to Fred Elliot for stating that he is actually a 12 year old trapped in the body of a 45 year old man, and that he lives in a treehouse in his back garden.

6. I'd like to apologise to Ralphy for taking the piss out of him when he went to Ibiza, a place full of sex, drugs and clubs, and chose to share a room with his dad. I'd also like to apologise for stating that an avatar he had of himself looked like Lee Peacock holding a chimp.

7. I'd like to apologise to Fatbury for comparing him to a cross between Jimmy Saville and The Yorkshire ripper. Also for accusing him of murder.I also may of suggested that he can often be found hiding in stairwells so that you can look up ladies skirts while he furiously masturbates into an empty pot noodle cup.

8. I'd like to apologise to Kinky Tom for putting up a picture of what I claimed to be his hairdressers

http://www.reigate-banstead.gov.uk/Images/Mayor%20&%20Joan%20Ingram%20with%20Terry2_tcm5-11743.jpg

9.I'd like to apologise to Summer of 69 for suggesting that prior to joining the Trust he was working as a waitress in a cocktail bar.

10. I'd like to apologise to STFC Bird for stating that anyone who likes David Hasselhoff must have a brain the size and consistency of a Dairylea cheese triangle.

11.I'd like to apologise to millom red for suggesting that he is a war mongering nutjob who forms opinions on people based solely on their ability to dismantle and reassemble various firearms.

12.I'd like to apologise to Janaage for writing a story about how he was upgrading the orange revolution to orange armageddon. In the story I suggested he was forming a wrestling tag team and planning a showdown with the board in The County Ground car park. I accept this is not true.

13.I'd like to apologise to Bennett, Leggett, Bushey boy and Sam for writing a story about them being in a boyband called Boyz 4 skin, headlined Boyz 4 skin split.

14.I'd like to apologise to Piemonte for a story about him hanging out in toilets on the off chance of touching other men's bottoms. I also mentioned prior to that story that he drinks from urinals.

15. I'd like to apologise of course to Ironside for implying that he injected himself with Bernard Manning.

There's probably people that I've forgotten but I hope you can all find it in your hearts to forgive me for any damage I may have done to your name, your reputations, and of course your feelings.

Regards
Spacey

:Ride On Fatbury's Lovestick:  :Ride On Fatbury's Lovestick:  :Ride On Fatbury's Lovestick:

I love number 3 re Yeovil  :mrgreen:

fantastic  :Ride On Fatbury's Lovestick:

You are my hero. i am a sheep i am hanging on every word you write

:bow1:

hehe,like 6, 7 and 13 the best.

15's a crock of shit, Ironside makes Bernard Manning look like Rosa Parks.

Does that mean that everything Spacey posts is lies :shock:

My world has been turned upside down.

Are you sure Fred's not got a treehouse?

Apology accepted you cunt  :D

but i got voted on, didnt need to call the family.

No need to apologise

Its all true

Alan......................


comments ?

 :x

Stop fishing cunty Fred

:mrgreen:

Sorry but I found that extremely funny

Ditto. Does that make me a bad man? Will I go to hell? I don't believe in that heaven and hell bollocks so is it still applicable? If so, see all you TEFers in hell.

Spacey...you are a legend. You never give up.
 :Ride On Fatbury's Lovestick:

If I even posted anything at all about this thread it would be misconstrued.

Oh fuck

Nowt new there then Al... :P
Denim is good..

I thought you weren't coming on here again Big Al. I think denim is sexy.

16. I would like to apologise to Robert T for not making my remarks about Ironside more abusive. I will take this into consideration when constructing any further posts, and will be sure to compare him with Oswald Mosely or Herr Flick from Allo Allo.

17. I would like to apologise in advance to Ironside for any posts that I might make in the future that compare him with Oswald Mosely or Herr Flick from Allo Allo.

Spacey, you can't finish a list on 17, it'll completely mess with my OCD. Even numbers only, or preferably round it up to 20. Thanks.

Do you have OCD? Hahahahahahahahahaah!

18. I'd like to apologise to Sussex for laughing at his illness

You bloody would leave it at 17 too. Aaaaaaaaaaargh.

Edit: Phew

Everybody wears jeans, don't they?

FFS, it's only a bloody denim jacket. Anyway, Superhands said she thought my jacket was cool...

I trust her.

Come back Alan.... you belong here... and also that L&P forum is shit. Sucks goats. Has forum GRID. The whole lot. It's really really really bad. I would have done more 'really's but the 3 work better when said in a row. 4 sounds silly and over the top. I blame Macbeth.

:Ride On Fatbury's Lovestick:

Millom!!! what does that little rolling man mean? Is he having some sort of fit? I hope that doesn't mean you're having a fit? I don't know your address! Shit! Do you need me to call an ambulance?!?!?!?

A rolling drunk is better than a sober Drunk....I thought you Knew that Ben.

What's a sober drunk?

Me....or Me....or you...or ...or erm...

What you gonna do Spacey when three and a half Jan-a-maniacs run wild on you? Brother!!

Much better, although I fear your need to apologise to Ironside suggests an unhealthy weakness.

We should try to educate wrongdoers by treating them with compassion and forgiveness, it's the Loud & Proud way.

To quote our Lord and Saviour



Amen.

very good saying that is

Have you considered joining The Loud & Proud army? They're always on the lookout for tambourine players.

Have you thought about joining the bnp they are on the look out for cunts.

I forgive you.

 :Ride On Fatbury's Lovestick:

We wouldn't allow tambourine players in, not with those metal bits, could cause an injury.