Thetownend.com

On monday after work i went for a quick coke in the local.

After 10 mins, i started to feel very dizzy and sick. I went to the toilets and threw up. I went back to the bar, still feeling dizzy and told my mate i wasn't well and was going home.

After walking 2 metres i collapsed on a table and chairs and passed out!
Came around to find the landlord mopping my brow and looking quite concerned!

Turned out i had a bad stomach bug which caused me to faint.

I have been getting really bad pains down the side of my ribs the past 2 days and today i couldn't finish my post round.

Could my ribs be cracked from falling on the table?

I'm slightly concerned.

I think you're dying.

go to the doctors?

Got an appointment in an hour.

Just wanted some opinions.

Is a broken rib cage serious?

I doubt very much if it's a broken rib cage ralphy. You would have to go some to suffer that injury.

It could be a couple of cracked ribs though, which isn't too serious.

Hurts though, doesn't it? :D

a broken rib is not serious.  theres not much you can do about it though and it will hurt til healed

It's quite clearly aids.

Stop snorting coke?

I'd just like to add the Ralphy clearly had half a pint and fell over :wink:

he clearly got beat up by some 12 year old Bristol chavs on saturday.

he got battered

It was quite clearly jesus punishing you. Who goes into there local for a quick coke. You silly gay.

I think I carcked a rib or two when at uni, hurts like a bitch, breathing hurts laughing is even worse.  Nowt you can do but try not to do further damage, after a few weeks everything is OK again IIRC.

Hi ralphy, having lived with doctors for several years I am more than qualified enough to diagnose you here. It sounds like anal trauma.

He did not go to the game.

:? Ouchies!

You'd know about a cracked rib. I cracked one and it hurt to do pretty much anything other than slowly breathe. It'll heal itself if you just leave it though.

It's a cracked rib.

Nothing they can do apparently.

Just put me on 30 mg of Codeine a day and light duties at work.

I didn't go to the Bristol Rovers game by the way!

30mg, fuck that ralph do the lot! you know it makes sense!

Fucking right Ash

Dont be so gay Ralphy

Do them with a bottle of JD

Crack is whack Ralph

When i was about 14, i flipped a Yamaha Banshee quad bike while doing fast as fuck doughnuts in the mud, i landed chest first onto a pile of breeze blocks.

I bent my sternum and broke over 10 ribs at once, can't remeber exactly how many, but it kept causing me to hyperventilate, such was the pain and difficulty with which i found breathing. It was like a panic attack every few hours. Oh the joy.  :Ride On Fatbury's Lovestick:

I've took 2 washed down with a bottle of Grolsch.

30mg of cocke would do fuck all to anyone, aparnatly, well fred told me that

Wiping your ass is the hardest thing in the world.

who's ass?

Even the greatest waves start from small ripples

My ass!

Left handed doesn't make it any easier.

Get a big stick and wrap a tea towel round the end of it!

Wipe it on the new carpets like a dog.

:Ride On Fatbury's Lovestick:  :Ride On Fatbury's Lovestick:  :Ride On Fatbury's Lovestick:

Surely you should have been signed off Ralphy? My step-dad had 6 months off work when he cracked his ribs in a car crash, and that's just an office job!

Didnt fancy the christmas card rounds then Ralphy?

Cracked ribs are ok unless one is sticking into a lung. Then you are in trouble.

If i'm signed off, my attendance will trigger a 2nd stage warning cos i had three months from september to the end of november.

but its a medical problem can they do this

Yes they can!!

Regardless of why your off, Royal Mail issue a warning system for absence.

I was off 3 months with stress and depression and got issued a stage 1 warning today.

If i go off with cracked ribs, their issue a stage 2.

well i would use whatever time you got off to find a new job

They can make him redundant, as long as they discuss the situation with Ralphy (i.e. his position and what they expect). I don't think Royal Mail can just issue warnings without any discussion.

If they don't like it, they cannot sack you, but they can make you redundant. What's the redundancy package like Ralphy? I'd take it and look for a new job if it's any good. An employer being that amount of bastard isn't good for you.

this made me laugh half a bottle of peroni all over the place

You have what are known as attendance interviews.

It's up to your manager's discretion whether they issue the warning but their all cunts and always do issue it.

I'm on a stage 1 now.

If i have a certain amount of absences within the next year, i'll get a stage 2 and then out!

I'll dig out the exact requirements Royal Mail expect later and share with you all.

Lazy Cunt

Or Thrush again ???     :wink:

Same thing

:Ride On Fatbury's Lovestick:

:Ride On Fatbury's Lovestick:  :Ride On Fatbury's Lovestick:  :Ride On Fatbury's Lovestick:

You are on form tonight Young Sir !

The funnist thing is, i rang my office halfway round my delivery and told my manager the situation.

''hi Steve, problem. Really struggling getting in and out of the van and lifting the bags''.

''Um ok, can you not drive up to each letterbox?''

''Some yeah, but not on the estates and flats''.

''Ok, that's a problem. I'll have to get back to you on that one''.


I can now see why Royal Mail mangement are so highly qualified professionals.

Is it your right side, or yor left?

Are you righthanded, or lefthanded?

Just thinking........................................


Wanking could be painful...

It's my right side and i'm right handed.

Shit.

sit on your left hand for 5 mins

It will feel like someone else is doing it

Macca, heard that before.

An old sailor and soliders trick when away for months without a woman.  :mrgreen:

I for one am staggered that a company can get away with issuing their staff with warnings that can ultimately lead to dismissal should they be signed off sick. That is fucking outrageous.

I could understand it being applied if your manager or supervisor suspects you are 'swinging the lead' so to speak, but surely not if you have a doctor's note? And for a physical injury that would surely hamper you're ability to do the job?

I don't normally sympathise with you Ralphy, but on this occassion I really do. I just can't believe how that policy got through in such a major organisation as Royal Mail  :?

I'm disgusted as well!

I always thought being a postman was a good job.


Well, it's better than walking the streets............................

in my previous employment as a manager for sainsburys it's common place. it's just another way of constructively managing people out. therefore ralphy is shit, even for a postman

tried it.



doesnt work  :cry:

you've got to wank your willy not wipe your arss

It works better if you sit on somebody else's hand....

Is this why u wernt at the Rovers match?

That the problem with all u Poxford postman, tiny bit of work and u cant handle it  :D

Peter Mandleson has a lot to answer for! :fag:

Millom

That is simply perverted! :roll:

My xmas gets better, my gran passed away today  :(

That's not nice to hear Ralph. Life's a bitch.

Well it wasn't today, it was last saturday but we didn't get the death certificate till today.

Ralph the pain she was in you know she is ayt rest now, hope the family is coping.  The answer is a night out, it makes sense!

You reckon i should come out on Boxing night then Ash?

indeed! Christma is for getting drunk and doing chicken dances!

You do that every saturday though  :D