Thetownend.com

8)

Someone write it and E-mail it to the adver.

I would write it but i cant spell...oh hang on :D

I am sure Bart will write one.

you're starting to piss off the fans....and you dont want to do that because without us you're nothing.


-----------

hows that?

rubbish

Yeovil Red is great and should run the football club

--------------------

better?

Hmmmm a little..

Stop your pathetic whinging, help the club back to where it belongs and get us out of debt.

Or alternatively, fuck off

Love, TEF
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------



What bout that?

The Townend forum would like to issue the following statement...

After conducting a poll it was decided that the best chocolate bar is a Kitkat chunky, the best film is The Godfather, and the Honda civic is a nice car. The Townend would like all supporters of Swindon Town FC to show their full support to Dennis Wise and the players and do you remember those wind-up Evel Kneivel motorbike toys you used to get? You'd nearly pass out with exhaustion winding them up, they'd go about 5 ft and then fall over.

:D Ive been waiting for you to post.

can we add that we've had a long and lengthy (some would say mass) debate about which of the female Sky Sports News presenters is the fittest, and after much deliberation, we can reveal that they'd all get it?

How about: 'We're all negative, moaning bastards, that are continually running our board down. Just like 99.99% of all football fans. We also like to spout off about anything that concerns the club, whether we know all the facts or not.'
How's that?

The last bit is clearly a direct attack on senior board members bedroom abilities.......



....quickly flicks through the yellow pages under solicitors.

Is that you Mike?

Dear Sirs,

Me and some mates on thetownend.com are getting quite annoyed at the continued press releases.

Your statements have caused some rather annoying posters to appear, and using mindless repetition force us to understand their anger. The trouble is, when reading their posts it forces us to think. It forces us to understand there is more to our club the enjoyment of watching a match.

Primarily we are reck-heads, when someone normally starts a thread we often miss the point completely and stand to make points completely unrelated. To go on a tangent is far more fun then staying on topic. If we were able to stay on topic for 4 or 5 replies to a post, then we would work and we would not support The Town.

My point is this. The press releases are sobering stuff. It forces many of us to spend large amounts of time taking in the factual information, and then post a reasoned reply. The threads then follow on, as they should. There are no tangents, there is no stupidity.

These sobering threads mean we are more conscious of what we are typing, what we are thinking and, more importantly, what we are feeling.

I'm 28, and your press releases have forced me to sober up and think about getting a life. I am now aware that at 28 i've had my fun. I'm also aware that with little fun left to have, i'm just sitting around, killing some time and waiting to die.

I feel this should be of concern to you, because i have now stopped drinking and therefore stopped posting. I no longer care what walrus did last night, what flavour shoes people prefer, or how FM 2006 is closer to reality then life and death.

Football is about the above and when i concentrate and don't drink, i realise i could get a life, get kids, a 9-5 rut, stop watching footy, stop giving you money and go and camp in Shaw "Forest".

Please allow me to continue to plod through life blissfully ignorant of everything. I know i'm not alone in this, i can name hundreds of people from thetownend.com who are like me, leaving the forum, leaving the drunken ignorance behind and striving for the next 9-5 challenge.

The forum is dying, when her eyes close, the club will wimper. The club is sick, don't make her puke.

faithfully once yours

Barry Scott

 No. Or is it?

ahhhhhhhh

"Unlike the trust who are constantly going around trying not to offend everybody and keep all dialog options open, here at the TEF we never shy away from calling anybody a cunt. We feel that people who can't handle being called a cunt without bursting into tears are the most cuntish of all and hence deserve being called a cunt the most."

Cunt.

 :D

English, grammar and spelling were all far too good.

:D  :D  :D

I've just emailed that to the Adver and Wiltshire Sound

:D ace

If we're serious, how about this. Sorry about the spelling. I typed quick.

----------------------


Dear STFC board

We would like to put on record the thanks of the townend.com users to Sir Seton Wills for his continued support for the club without which we realise the club may have, in the past, gone out of business.

We would like to make a direct appeal to the board of STFC to put a halt to the distructive statements that they have been releasing during the past week.

The board need to realise that, despite the hard work they put in, they are working for the good of a club that all of the fans have a stake in - as supporters - who have followed the club for longer than the board members has been in position.

The townend.com users ask that the board put an end to the squabbles of the past few weeks and pull together behind Dennis Wise and the players who are involved in one of the most important seasons the club has ever faced. One way to minimise the losses the club is facing this season is to secure promotion and we strongly believe the club should back Dennis and give him every help possible.

The affect of these constant statements about individuals involved in either the club or trust has had a clear affect on the players during this difficult time which is why squabbles of this nature should be held behind closed doors.

We, as supporters, do not appriciate "put up or shut up" messages and feel that we have the right, as paying customers, to have concerns about how the club is run. Perhaps the board should embrace any criticisms rather than airing its dirty washing in public? Opening a meaningful dialogue with the fans and a continued dialogue with the trust would benefit STFC more in the long-run and we appeal for the board to take this message on-board.

Yours,

The townend.com cunts.

We're deadly serious, as shown by Sonic's email

Did he send an email?

this is ace!!! Chris K is near enough spot on just not enough cunts for my liking!

Agreed.

*Our demands*

We at thetownend.com will stop being a bunch of cunts and agree to a truce if you give us the following:

1) A bottle of wine for flammableBen. Preferably nothing more expensive than £2.89 (and red).
2) Some canesten for Ralphy.
3) A pair of little girl's shoes for Mexico Red.
4) A packet of fags and two lighters (he'll leave one at the bar guarenteed) for Yeovil Red.
5) Some horse tranquilizer for Birdy.
6) Some bog roll for Rich, who seems to have an obsession with shit.
7) A ghostbusters proton pack and trap for Spacey.
8) Something Irish for Sonic Youth to make him feel special (maybe a Guinness, or a long lost relative).
9) A twix for Bushey Boy.
10) A night with the Peaconator for Piemonte.
11) A free abortion voucher (valid for 1 month) for Sade. Kappa jacket not included. Terms and conditions apply.
12) A parrot for Bart.
13) An eighth for Kinky Tom. None of that skunkbar shit.
14) A signed Swindon shirt with "I 8 Oxford" on the back for Oxford Fan.
15) A Mourinho plastic surgery job for Ben Wah Balls.
16) A deluxe rabbit for Larwood after he last one broke (probably).
17) A tax free haven closer to Swindon for Dazzza.
18) An England flag adorning the phrase 'Whits On Top' for Whits to pin to his bedroom ceiling.
19) Some internet for Spuddy.
20) A mail order bride for Dave Blackcurrent (he seemed to like the show on channel 4).
21) A wizard's hat, some glasses and a broomstick for Johno, so he and Reeves4England can play Harry Potter.
22) A deal with a publisher to produce the 'Smeeton Encyclopaedia' for Reg.
23) I'll settle for a free pie at my next game.
24) A rehab centre that actually works for Sussex Red. He seems to be in that Priory an awful lot.
25) Some nappies for Walrus.
27) Anything else for anyone I may have missed (ok I can't be fucked to make the list longer. The rest are all a bigger bunch of cunts than this lot anyway).

If our demands are met by 11:00 hours on Saturday 14th October 2006, then we will call a truce. Any attempts to break the truce with thetownend.com will result in further ramifications.

Sincerley,

A Cunt.

I want at least 3 bottles of wine and 20 Supersize Lambert and Butler.

What a cracking old school thread.   :o

:Ride On Fatbury's Lovestick:
fuckin here here si pie

dear board of stfc.

following the various statements you have released over the last few weeks, it would be churlish and disrespectful not to add our own salient points thickening the plot.

point 1. you have an electronic scoreboard, why not show porn at half time?

point 2. customer satisfaction would be guarnteed if on matchday following a loss you would allow sections of the crowd to go on a rampage, maybe section of an area of the arkells where we can smash up seats on a regular basis, or when we out number the away fans lets us run at them, thus relieving the tension which builds up and leads to board/fans splits.

point 3. a suggestion to improve performance, if the team loses a raffle takes place, the 'winner' has to make his girlfriend/wife suck of a pre picked member of the forum, depending on the importance of the game the forum good looking scale will be inforced, for example a not so glamarous match say against rochdale they would have to suck off the more glamorous members such as walrus or yeovil red. now for a crunch match say walsall or a cup tie against oxford the lucky ticket holder would have to suck off fatbury, surely a huge incentive to play better.

point 4 we can call you what we want when we want,its in the football supporters bill of rights section 3a paragraph 4 and i quote...
' any chairman or board member fucking gets its coz they are all rich cunts, standard.'

i hope you take these points on board and we can move forward to a brighter future

yours mexico red
supporter of the year 2005/6

:Ride On Fatbury's Lovestick: Quality

this is the best thread in the two years I have been on here! I love si pies and mex's.  Keep it going

Dear STC board

I can think of no other industry where the board of directors, lead by the principal shareholder, effectivly tell a goup of their most loyal customers to shut the fuck up. Further than this, to then seemingly attempt a character assination on the leader of a suporters (customers) group is bordering on the ridiculous. Dark forces appear to be at work in the STFC boardroom.

This has lead me to believe that the reason for Mike Diamadis' public shyness is that he is actually A dark lord of the Sith.

I've always found the dark side of the force much more entertaining than the gayness of the Jedi so I would like to offer my suggestions for the eradication of this rebal scum my lord, Darth Diamandis.

1. Routine throttlings using the force for any anti-board chanting at games
2. Send stormtroopers to any rebel Trust STFC meetings
3. A light Sabre battle with the leader of the rebel scum; Paul Davis at half time on saturday. Once he has been slain, show porn on the scoreboard.
4. Star Destroyers to be deployed at games instead of that gay police chopper.
5. Fill the stratton bank with pro-empire (i mean board) Ewoks.  They may need to be "persuaded" however this should not be a problem.
6. Monitoring of communications channels (usually called internet message boards on this planet my lord) for anti-empire (damn, I mean board) sentiments. All disscenting voices to be rounded up and executed prior to next home game.
7. The team should run out to the imperial march (thanks VD85)
8. Construction of a new, scaled down space station should begin. After 2 failed attempts at the creation of a death star, a more usable day to day means of mass extermination of rebel trust STFC scum is required. To improve aerodynamics and landing capabilities, the top and bottom sections of the sphere should be removed to form....................The Death Pie
9. Imperial walkers should be used instad of police horses.
10. Dennis Wise should be trained in the arts of the dark side

DIE REBEL SCUM. LONG LIVE THE EMPIRE. ALL HAIL DARTH DIAMANDIS.



Yours faithfully,

Mr Pie Monte

Mexico Red still takes the prize ....but still made me chuckle!
 :mrgreen:

Now as we usually lose those ones id have to say I totally endorse this suggestion!

 :Ride On Fatbury's Lovestick:

how long till the players run out to death march!

Following recent critisism I would like to make the following open statement:

     statements are the new black.

I will take it as a personal attack on myself if anybody disagrees that statements are from hereon the only form of acceptable communication between two parties.

Consider this a message to cease and dissist from any other form of communication (other than public statements). Failure to comply will result in me issuing another statement, and the hunting down and chinese burning of guilt parties (by the cover of darkness). remember, a statement a day keeps the critics at bay.

The bored (sic).

Good thinking VD.

You can be my padowan.

 :shock:  :Ride On Fatbury's Lovestick:
You been going through my knicker drawer again Si?

Ace thread,well done everyone :clap:

"Dearest Board,

Either Swindon Town FC will be ruled according to the ideas of our modern democracy, or the world will be dominated according to the natural law of force; in the latter case the people of brute force will be victorious.

Ein Volk, ein Reich, ein Führer, ein Swindon."

http://myspace-373.vo.llnwd.net/01275/37/33/1275543373_l.jpg

Feel free to use it if you want ...

Give the board back some of the shit they've thrown our way of late.

I'm liking Mex's. Nice of him to slip in the Supporter of the Year bit at then end  :wink: