Thetownend.com

I was stood in Tescos and some guy in the queue was telling me how his butcher was going to assassinate Dennis Wise at 13.30 today for being a traitor and going to Leeds.

Any truth to these rumours?

yes, I slept with Dennis last night and he admitted he wanted butchering, his sausage was useless

 :shock:   Even he wouldn't stoop that low...   :wink:

He's quite short, so wouldn't really need to stoop.

i was walking along shoreham beach in west sussex this morning when i saw sat by the old fort a mermaid, she beckoned me beneath the waves of shoreham harbour where loe and behold i found a whole utopian underwater city,
the mermaid complained that the site was under threat since the falmer ground application had been put back yet again for brighton and hove albion.
she claimed that former manager mark mghee was also once a mermaid and knew of this site. the mermaid association through various shady links within the south coast club had managed to give mghee the push last week. thus preventing a loan situation as the mermaids ground could not cope with the parking.
the underwater stadium is a sight to behold, it holds 32,000 with 18,000 treading water. the team itself is on the slide with falling attendances not helping matters, the mermaid said they had made several approaches to dennis wise over the last 10 days and it looked promising. but i reckon she was talking shit.

:Ride On Fatbury's Lovestick:

McGhee was a mermaid - fuckin' hell I didn't know they had the cock!
You couldn't make it up we now need a team of underwater football players

Brilliant  :D