Thetownend.com

Is it so cold  :(  Its August for christ sake and I'm sat here with fluffy socks on and a jumper. Ahwell......I spose it is only roughly 4 months until christmas  :P

im in shorts but begining to wonder why?

Its appalling. I feel like the summer has just flashed before my eyes and I havent had time to enjoy it - I've even had 3 colds. I do like christmas though. I really do.

I'm pissed off with the weather in this country.

First week of october i have a week off work, i might go on holiday alone like a loser.

bit warmer for next 3 days then lots of rain thursday and friday

Terrible here too:

Partly cloudy. Isolated thunderstorms in the afternoon. Highs in the mid 80s. Chance of thunderstorms 10 percent.

 :D

NMH

I never even got to get the water slide out in my garden or sleep on my trampoline pissed up  :(

:(  Oh yeah and I've kind of been dumped. Told me he needs a break. Whatever that means. If it was sunny I'd be happy I think.

Lovely weather, not to warm and not to cold.

Totally agree, it's way too cold for summer.  I blame all the people who were moaning when for the first time in years we got some warm weather in the summer. Didn't last long enough.

bless. i'm sure plenty of people on here will offer to take you out for a drink.

English people moan when its sunny and moan when its cold, so really we can't forking win. I know, because I am one of those people admittedly.

You fancy going for a drink sade? Don't think I can't make it out to whatever inbred place you live at tonight though, can you wander into swindon?

Ok.....if anyones reading. I'll start with a vodka a coke followed by a lemonade and malibu followed by a glass of house white.....make that two.....followed by a double vodka and coke followed by 5 or 6 shots of firey sambuca washed down with maybe 3 bottle of smirnoff ice followed by a pint of some kind of beer maybe and then a sex on the beach like they do in spain and then another double vodka and then a taxi home.Ta.

you wish. you can have a pint of proper beer.

Back in Carlisle and it resembles winter up here, cold and rainy.

Boo, bring back summer

too expensive for me, sorry dear.

:cry:

it is only 4 months till christmas, how exciting :oops:  8)

I've got jeans on for the first time in months, except in the pub with mr carver on friday.

It's all my fault. Finally got a portable air con unit for the little ones bedroom on Saturday.

Still it will be useful next year!

poor Sade, join the dumped, alone and miserable club  :(

I'm also in that club!

already? sounds like you best off without her from what you have said on here  :(

Cold, 5 days without a fag and the wife has Gasterenteritis.
Oh the joy

I think i am. Still fucks you up though.

Tell me about it.  Go out and get pissed and smoke 40 fags  :D

I went to Turkey on my own a few weeks ago Ralph (2nd time I've done it).

Had an ace time, do what you want, when you want, with who you want  :advercool:

Holidays with girlfriends always mean arguments/compromise. No thanks!

 :soapy tit wank:  :clap: Good girl!

[/b]

fine by me sade, im loaded  :D  :D

Ok. When and where? I'm not shaving my legs.

 :shock:  that's just so wrong it's almost stomach churning.  In the summer as well.

My legs resemble those of an ape. Whats the problem? I'm natural.
Some men like the feeling of their feet softly touching a womens hairy leg.

 Have you ever thought of writing one of those Edwina Currie style bonkbuster novels Sadie?

:chunder:

No Reg.....why do you think I would be good at that? I have a certain way with words don't I.

Yeh, you do know a few I suppose

Stop picking on me. I know its really because you want a stroke. I do condition don't worry. Although I havent checked for leg hair crabs lately.

that sounds really nice sade.my mum would love to meet you

:Ride On Fatbury's Lovestick:  I'm probably putting you all off women for life. AHA. Good job you all don't know what VS stands for in lady hair terms......

Go for it.....you could make Birdy a character throw in some horses and postmen .....and you'd be on a winner.

.....and nozza with his famous antics.

 I'm not sure the literary world is ready for graphic description of Nozza's onanism.....could be wrong though....

whats that mean :?

it means he thinks you're a poof

geddim!

REG.. :x ..is this true..you lot with your secret forum language

Well statistically 10% of the male population are gay...there are 600+ users on here most of whom are fellas, so lets call it 500 allowing for birds and sleeping Jimmy aliases.

 Ergo there are 50 poofs lurking out there :kisskiss:  we know of maybe half a dozen like YR who've come out, got to be some more.

leggett has a side parting....

Nah, clean shaven, pref waxed.  In fact a shaven haven is also best, I always promise to shave my chin in return.

Im proper bent  :kisskiss:

Don't we all just know this at away games.  It's a good job you don't wear lipstick otherwise there would be serious questions to answer at home.

Yeah, sort it out Sade, or i'll never sleep with you...

 :evil:

  Don't you ever get to meet any posh birds on horse back, when you're doing your round Ralphy.....some of them like to open up the tradesman's entrance surely?

My Postman is short and ginger  :|

magicroundabouts your postman  :shock:

  But you're not posh Birdy.....artistic licence is a great thing.....I'm waiting for Sadie to post up a few paragraphs of her work.

*cough* I am Lady Lucinda of the Dray-ton don't you know Reginald.  Anyone who rides horses and is called Lucinda must be posh surely  :D

 You should smoke less Birdy.....

Well I guess there's a bigger proportion of females in the general population than on here, but does that mean there are more women on this forum than we think? Or should I say more Larwoods?

I always knew women were more deceitful than men.

You have got me all horny for the smeetonator now reg, duty calls  :wink:

:arsekisser:

Now and again when delivering, I know quite a few horsey girls though.

They drink, smoke and shag alot.

you should come and deliver my way Ralph  :wink:

I would never get round my delivery in time.

I am sure you could empty your sacks somewhere  :soapy tit wank:

:Ride On Fatbury's Lovestick:

I'd imagine the slower your delivery the better as far as Birdy is concerned.

:run:

I could empty my sacks into the nearest box?

only if you can fit your package in the slot

Get used to it mate!  :wink:

Careful though Ralph, if she's on it could give the term 'red letter day' a whole new meaning

Least it won't mean a Special Delivery

That is just so so wrong  :dead:

what % of women are gay Reg? I demand we have at least 5 lesbians on this forum or I want my money back.

flammableben.  He has long hair.  He has aids.  This equals gay.

you wish I was a gay doore.

grim.

:shock:  When I was on holiday once a special needs girl kind of warmed to me and she always used to talk to me. I was lounging about in the pool one day and she came over and crouched down by the side of the pool to speak to me, I don't mean to be mean but I was nearly sick because she had massive elvis flange sideburns and yeah I did'nt know where to look...... True story that. Special treat for Rob T.

Is that what you model your furry flange lips on Sade?

No. I am not really hairy. But this is not an excuse for us to have a conversation about the length of my pubic region  :x  I hate the word pubes. Makes I cringe.
Ewww. Yowza. uuuh.

 In order to get 5 lesbians we'd need 5 women...I can only think of 4..although Walrus might be able to double up.

Lady
Larwood
Birdy
Sade
Sue :o
There are others....

Me and my friends had a aconversation about lesbians the other day and we came to the weird conclusion that theres a bit of lesbianess in every woman :oops: :D  
We all admitted to checking out other girls figures when we see them in the street etc. Its a normal thing, because you compare yourself to them. It does not make me a real lesbian though. I absolutely hate it when you go to a club and you get these slappers dancing like lesbians to get male attention. It pisses me off, how fuckinjg desperate can you get. I was very suprised saturday as a friend of mine tryed doing it to me and I was totally freaked out. Urgh.

I sometimes catch my wife doing the quick once over thing to passing totty.  I can't let on of course, because then she'd know I was looking as well (which she does, but if we both don't say anything we can both pretend it doesn't happen).

What qualities do you have to display to make you a 'real' lesbian? As opposed to a fake one...

a shaved head, tattoos, piercings and a face like a bulldog chewing on a wasp.

What is that all about, surely if you fancy women you'd want them to look attractive, not like men?!? :shrug:

I think it's Sue myself

 :D Exactly. I'm a laydeeeeeeeeee.

I was at Pride the weekend before last (a free party is a free party) and my god have I now seen some rough looking lesbians.

They weren't looking better after a small bottle of luke-warm vodka and a balloon-full of nitrous oxide either...  :(

I would have loved to see you drunk stumbling around the lesbians!

Well when you've got a toned, athletic handsome guy like me wandering around they don't stay lesbians for long... :wink:

haha..............I've seen you drunk.....not convinced your the greatest "lesbo converter" though.........

My problem is they're fine til they meet me, then they turn lesbian  :|

Maybe I could do all the forumers a favour and arrange to meet all the girls somewhere  :o

I think you're right.. I'm aiming too high.. If I can't convice straight girls of the delights of the 'larger gentleman' I doubt I'd manage to turn those on a muff diet!

Sorry lads, Lady doesn't seem to want to know, this doesn't bode well