Thetownend.com

Stick em here......

1. When calling in sick tilt your head upside down for a couple of minutes off the end of your bed.  Then head still in position make the call, you'll sound like your close to the grave.

2. For a tasty alternative with your super noodles pile them in a grilled pitta bread and grate a little strong cheddar and cracked black pepper on the top for a gormet treat.  (Nicked from a flavour packet)

sick, sick sick

Anyone noticed that if you type s i c k you get the vomitting head?

That's bloody brilliant!

we've all been saying that for weeks.
3. you can turn smilies off so you could type sick

Pay attention dazzza!

I just work here.

I think I noticed it first.

http://thetownend.com/forum/viewtopic.php?p=2079&highlight=#2079

dazza could you put that option underneath quick reply?

When listening to your favourite CD, simply turn up the sound to the volume you desire; then turn it down three notches. This will save your wife from having to do it.

I'll add it to the list.  Got sort out the space thing first.

There are all sorts of goodies to be had, check out the free games at the top of this demo forum.

phpbb.freegaming.de

To cure hic-ups, drink a cup of water the other way, i.e put your lips on the other side of the cup that you usually would and tilt your head forwards rather than backwards

ahem  :)

http://thetownend.com/forum/viewtopic.php?p=1962&highlight=#1962

If you are choking on an ice cube simply boil a kettle of water then drink contents.

soapy tit wank    :D   That's quality!!

When you're smearing dog shit on Gary Stanleys car, make sure you get the door handles as well as the windows.

Take a telephone directory and simply cross through all the names you do not know and you have your own handy personal phone book.

Be the envy of your friends!

good idea although wouldnt it b easier to just ask all ur friends what thier numbers r and then write them down rather than spending 2 hours doin that!

But that wouldn't be hillariously funny Rich, would it?

true

:D

lightnin rich

When handing over a £20 note for beer, check and remember the last three ID digits - then when the bastards give you £5 change and you complain and they go and get the manager and fuck you over - you'll have evidence of the note on the top of their till trays.

that happened to me in the walkabout in swindon. fucking pissed me right off. they said come back at the end of the night and took my details etc, but it was pure bollocks. I ran out of cash 20 mins later and went home

what happened to the customer always being right?

they're twats in there. they refused entry to a girl who'd had radiotherapy treatment and wanted to wear her hat because she was self concious about her hair.