Thetownend.com

It starts on Saturday i know,but i'm worried i'm going to get banned  :cry: so i'm posting this now.
Anyway i had to put the name of the ground in the topic thread because its the Wankhede Stadium [tee hee] in Mumbia formally Bombay.The team will be:
Strauss
Cook
Bell
KP
Colly
Freddie
Jones
Udal
Plunkett
Hoggy
Monty.Swift edit because Harmy is out ffs :(
Everyone keep an eye out for Spencers Swindon flag too,the lucky git :)

Fletcher said we'll play 2 spinners... frankly I'd give Blackwell another go.

wank head stadium, class :soapy tit wank:

I don't trust a thing Larwood says now...  :(  The stadium probably has a normal name, and it's probably in Huddersfield.

 :)  :(
No its true Dave,it is called the Wankhede stadium [snigger]those crazy foreigners and their crazy words :wink:

blackwell instead of udal please  :)

 :?  :nod:

I agree but i think it will be Udal unfortunately :-))( I'd rather Jimmy[if he's out in India?] played instead of Plunkett but i doubt it'll happen.

:Ride On Fatbury's Lovestick: spud mate, go to your local doctors or something.

Tomorrow at 9am.  8)

lets hope we actually put in a performance this time  :-))(

Hopefully my cuz will send some pics............
and i can share the misery :(
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v305/compo71/IMG_0411.jpg

You'd have looked a right plank if we'd lost.

I sure would have, but i got this when it was all over, they needed about 4 a ball and they still need about 130 runs, also it was about 1700.........

So the only result was a draw......... so we won the Ashes

And i was as happy as fuck  :beers:  :beers:

 :D  If i had to choose between us winning that little urn back and winning in the Sub-contintent,i know which one i would have prefered :beers: Fuck the India and Pakistan results we won the Ashes :dance:

yep........same as  :dance:  :clap:

But we're never going to be number 1 in the world if we carry on putting piss poor performances in away from England.

thats true. we won't be number one unless we beat everyone home and away, its what the aussies have done pretty much.

I can't get worked up about being number one tbh,of course it would be fantastic but winning the Ashes was the one thing i was really desperate for us to do.Anyway i doubt its going to happen now not with the Aussies seemingly winning in South Africa and us losing in India,we'll be third at the end of this series :(

We wont win it in Australia......FACT!.

Sadly i have to agree Spuddy,i'd still love to go out there and see though :)

Oh yeah i'd love to go and dish out some abuse to those wankers.

 :soapy tit wank:  8) Its going to be mental out there i think,probably more English than normal and the aussies are finally interested too.

Of course the real reason for this thread is the Third test,lets try and forget about the convict cunts.........for now anyway :)
Don't forget everyone needs to keep an eye out for Spencer Whites Swindon Flag 8) Lets hope for his sake that the game lasts for the whole five days.I can't see us doing much :(  but if we could win the toss again[three in a row] and bat for an entire day or so we could do something,but we haven't done that yet so i won't be holding my breath.If the Indians bat first they will be out there for a hell of a long time.

My cuz, Sara also has a town flag and she said she would be wearing a town top aswell.................... good girl :D

I'm going to stay up for a bit and watch i think.

England batting first........COME ON BOYS!!!!!

Oh yeah, Bell-end opening with Strauss. Lets hope that Strauss shows some composure.

Badum tish :D

Strauss
Bell
Shah
Peiterson
Collingwood
Flintoff
Jones
Udal
Anderson
Hoggard
Panesar

Massive lbw appeal against Strauss, rightly given not out. Bloody Indians will appeal for anything :wanker:

Still looking out for Spencer and the flag. 14-0

Cookie was ill this morning, hence the change. 34-0 at drinks

First session England. Bell gone for 18, but Shah has come in and looked focused and decisive. First ball he faced off Harbhajan, he wandered down the pitch and tried to hit him through the covers :o Didn't work, but 4 next ball. He's impressed me so far. Strauss is meandering along nicely on 30-odd, should push on for a big score.....

63-1 at luncheon

156-1 at the moment, Strauss is 83 not out and Shah has just got his 50.

good start so far! i assume cook has some sort of injury to be dropped? Bell opening...shows you how low we are on players!

My man Belll... keeping it real again. That running lark is hard - let the others do it mate (suckers)

Shah's retired hurt but Strauss is still in, on 123 and has just been dropped of Kumble.

Pietersen in on 15. 212 for 1

 :D

Incidentally, has abyone got the first idea what India thought they were playing at putting us in on this wicket?

 :nuts:

whats up with shah?

india won the toss....haha

strauss gone, caught behind for 123. well played  :beers:

sorry for 128....

Shah's got cramp apparently. I guess he didn't he much chance to prepare properly for the game as Cookie dropped out late.

Bollocks Pietersen gone for 39. Collingwood in, they must be hoping Shah can come back in tomorrow.

Cook came down with a stomach bug last night apparently.

Finished 272-3, first blood England

They reckon he'll be alrght to bat tomorrow, he's done well considering he hasnt played any proper Cricket since coming over from the West Indies.

oh my god! i wake up this morning to find we are actually batting well for once  :shock:

Yeah i went to bed when we were 54-1 expecting to wake up and find us 130-6.

classy performance from Strauss who has proved me wrong! fair play!

India 24-2 after we made 400.  :D

Jimmy Anderson  8)  36-3

well, very good day.  8)

 :nod:

It was indeed.

I watched all of todays play. Ok, i fell asleep for about 2 hours, but still. It was ace 8)

Dravid is nigh-on impossible to get out at the moment, so we should concentrate on the other end tomorrow. Only these 2 and the wicket-keeper, and then we'll be into the tail. Early wicket would set us up well

Just one point, can we make sure Udal doesnt bowl anymore buffet overs.  :D

:nod:

im still not sure that we are doing to well! we got early wickets but they are still only 89-3  :-))( and 400 wasn't that good considering we were 230-1 ah well

yep, udal is crap. worse than blackwell, even spud knows that so it must be true.

Yes and when my body decided to wake up at 4:20am we were 302-3  :?

Punch Dravid in the throat.

i hate the cunt too

Jimmy should have had Dravid and Dhoni in one over before lunch :x ,fielding practice for Prior and Monty is needed.Its great to see Jimmy playing well :D ,see i said we should play him :wink: .
164-5,we need to keep on going because Dhoni and Pathan are good players Kumble and Harbhajan are pretty decent too.

Fucking can't get rid of the tail, again.

The difference is that their tail wags a lot longer than ours, Nice to see that Bell has fucked up again.

Lets be honest here, we can all have a pop at Bell but if Tresco and Vaughan were fit he wouldnt be playing.

Oh dear 31-2,still its very much in our own hands,if we could bat until say tea tomorrow[long shot i know :-))( ] then we'd have four sessions to bowl them out.If they do bowl us out at least the declaration problem would be solved,of course we'd still need to have 250 or so on the board to be in with a chance of winning.Still a long way to go and all three results are possible.

Anyone heard how spencer is getting on out their?

Hasn't Jimmy Anderson done well?Four wickets for four runs and the run out of Dhoni :D ,plus he should have had two other wickets too.Can i just repeat that i said the bloke should play!
 :toppost:  for me.[Of course he'll be rubbish in the second innings
now :( ]

hope spencer hasn't been laid up with the shits like cook.

can someone explain to me why udal is playing?

Because we don't have any other real choice,its either Udal or Blackwell who are unfortunately both as crap as each other.Udal though offers a different option as he's a right arm spinner as opposed to Monty Panesar and Blackwell who are both lefties.

from the few overs i've managed to see, udal was hugely ineffective and highly expensive...

is it neccesary to have two spinners though?

And thats from the person who is likely to hear something from the man himself.  :mrgreen:

In the Sub-Continent thats the usual way of doing things as the wickets are much more likely to be conducive to spin,altough you probably know that :) We only had one spinner in the last test and it didn't work,although quite honestly the fifth bowler throughout the series has been  
dodgy :-))(  .Hopefully the wicket breaks up on the last day and our spinners will work some magic.....maybe.

to be honest, i didn't know that. my cricket knowledge is a bit limited

are there no other options for spinners with giles out? udal looks about as useful as a sex shop for nun's

The trouble is that we dont produce wickets at home that help to culivate spinners and then we expect them to perform miracles on the Sub-continent,we rely on swing and pace to do the damage. Maybe we could send them to India in the off season to learn how to spin the ball .

The fact is sonic, we dont have any decent spinners in this country which is why Udal makes it into the squad.  :shock:  :?

fair enough.

i was a decent spinner in my yoof

 :nod:
There is that albino Gareth Batty :wink: ,who did well in the West Indies recently,and also, is it Loudon ?who was on tour in Pakistan.But there aren't a lot of choices.

I'd sooner have Udal then.  :|

Well thats my input in your stupid cricket forum done.  Bunch of pansies..... :D

Come back soon  :wink:

at least we have a chance of winning this one........ :|

I'm staying up to watch tonight/tomorrow morning, because i can. Come on England \o/

enjoy the collapse  :wink:

Yeah, India are shit

:Ride On Fatbury's Lovestick: no i meant watch KP sky it into the air and Freddie and Jones get themselves out for 1 run each  :-))(

well we are 100-5, like i thought.  :x

Yeah it isn't going as easily as i'd hoped  :-))( but don't forget that we are really 221-5 :) Still not enough of a lead but its a start,we'll need about 300-350 odd so the Indians might go for it a bit,although it doesn't really matter if we lose because we are losing in the series anyway we need to win dammit :wink: .
Hopefully we'll have enough to declare an hour or so before the end of the day.

We've been stuck on 117-5 for about 5 overs now, India just playing for time. As much as it could be suicide from England, i think Fred and Colly need to start hitting out against Apple Kumble and the Turbanator

Your right Mister Village,we are going to lose the series anyway so we may as well lose trying to win, if you get what i mean :wink: ,a draw is no good really, although a one nil series loss would represent a good effort considering all our troubles.

As soon as i say that, Fred goes galavanting down the wicket, and really should have been stumped by Dhoni :|

Goodmornig Larwood,Goodmorning Everyone. Tricky day today in India, England losing Early wickets and then getting pegged back by the spinners. We need to push on and get a few more runs on the board and then declare just after tea,the pitch looks to be holding up and the Indians do not like the ball bowled up around shoulder/neck height.Intruiging test match .

 :soapy tit wank: Nice Richie impression sir :) But how sad is it going to be on the morning of the ifrst test match of the England summer and there is no Richie :cry: Instead we'll have Bob and Beefy :-))(
Anyway 135-5 at tea,so by my dodgy calculations we have a lead of 256,Freddie and Colly have played themselves in so they are going to have to go for it now so we can have a bowl tonight i reckon.

Having taken so long to get a few runs i think that it maybe time to have a slog and try to put on another 30-50 and then declare before stumps,chasing 300 odd on this wicket is not going to be easy .Jimmy Anderson looks to be in fine fettle and fired up,Get Freddie bouncing a few past their ears and see what happens.Mighty impressed with the attitude of the whole squad considering the changes that have been made and yes Dave,even Geraint Jones has done ok  :wink:

I agree with that Foggy, need to push it along a bit because I said last night that realisticallyh we'll need 4 sessions to take 10 wickets. However, I think 280+ really should be beyond reach.

The Indians finished on18-1,Jimmy got Pathan who opened because Sehwag spent most of our second innings off the field[bad back the poor chap although could be good news for us]
We made 191 all out setting the Indians a target of 313 to win,surely they won't get that?
Still i think whatever happens its going to be an exciting day tomorrow,lets hope its the rght result.

My worry is that Tendulkar is over due a big innings and this could happen tomorrow .Our bowlers are more than capable of knocking them over for less than 250.

Tbh though it really doesn't matter if we lose,because we're losing anyway[as i expect you know :wink: ] We just need to go in and attack from the off,of course that means the Indians stand a chance of winning but it'll be some chase, and if they lose early wickets they will probably shut up shop and try for the draw anyway.
Personally i think it'll be a draw but then i said that about the last test :oops:

they could ake that if they went for it, but i doubt they will.

we could get them all out IF (BIG IF) we actually get the tailenders out FOR ONCE!!! on a low score. we can knock over the top order i reckon easier, it seems harder to get the tail out.

Aha! Cunningly, the Indians are sending out tailenders (ie Pathan and Apple Kumble) early, so they have a stronger batting order at the end. With this in mind, we should struggle with the top order, and skittle out the lower order 8)

8) kumble will hit a 100 still though

I'm going to head down Teccy's when i leave work, grab a crate of Fosters, then set myself for a night in front of the box. Watch movies 'til 4am, then watch the cricket until play finishes 8)

you are what i want to be village! you git. i'll be up 7, watch an hour then off to 6th form.  :x

not really. sehwag can't bat before number 7 cos of his injury - pathan is a very useful bat and last tiem dravid stuck him up to open in a test he scored 93 against sri lanka. then kumble came in as nightwatchman, same as udal did on day 3 for us

My comments were tongue in cheek, but meh

Currently 51-3 with Dravid and Tendulkar in.

I dont know why the seamers arent hitting the pitch and testing Tendulkar's back injury?.

Just got another wicket after lunch 76-4 :) ,Tendulakar is still in though,come on boys we can still do this!

Udal gets Tendulkar!  :shock:  :beers:

Sachin has just gone!!!!!!! OAP Udal has got him!
76-5 COME ON!!!!!!We fucking deserve this we've played the best cricket through out this game

WOOOOOOOOOOO

Anderson has just got Sehwag lbw.

Yeh! Sehwags gone. 77-6

COME ON BOYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
4 more left to get now,surely the worse that can happen is a draw now

92-7,Good Lord Udal has got another one,Dhoni has gone now.Calm down Larwood,i'm a trifle excited :wink: Three more to go an hour till tea.

OH MY GOD!!!!!
I do believe we are going to WIN :beers:
I'm feeling rather emotional,99-9,what a performance ffs.
Lucky lovely lanky Spencer,the git :wink:
I'm just gob-smacked
WE HAVE jUST WON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :beers:  :beers:  :dance:
100 all out,FUCKING HELL :D  :D

Fuck me Udal's taken 4 wickets and it's over!

What am I going to listen to for the rest of the morning now?

Fecking unbelievable  :shock:  Well done boys :beers: , Thanks Larwood ,its been emotional  :D

You beauty. I never expected this.  :o

 :soapy tit wank: Yes it has been,and i do feel quite moved and VERY pround of the lads,what a performance.Considering all the first teamers missing,the fact that we are playing India in India its just unbelieveable that we 've competed at all throughout most of the series.But to draw 1-1,it shows what spirit we've got.It was our first test win in India for over 20 years too :beers:
And Rich,ha ha you were wrong,we aren't quite as shit as you said :wink:  :dance:

Absolutely superb! Wonderful result, full of great performances from what is practically our 2nd string!

Duncan Fletcher actually had a beaming smile on his face at the end :D

 :shock:  :D
I'm still so happy,i watched up till lunch and Tendulkar seemed to have got back into a bit of form oh no i thought Foggy could be right :wink: ,then they just collapsed,they lost seven wickets for twenty five runs.I knew we stood a chance but never did i imagine we'd have them all out before tea.Fucking unbelieveable!

Ive just watched the highlights on SS1.

Fucking great, just wished i was there.........  :beers:  :beers:  :beers:

Udal 4-14  :shock:

Text from Spencer White at ten this morning;
"I'm in a bar on the sea front 200 metres from the stadium.Partying with about 100 barmy army!We really thrashed them today.
Engerland"
It sounds superb,what a lucky swine :beers:

well i bloody missed it cause of crappy 6th form.

good win! espically with a second team out! shame we batted like morons in the 2nd innings in the 2nd test.

I can't believe udal got 4 wickets...tendulkars was poor batting though and the others were just people wanting to smack him...he is still crap in my opinion. i hope spud agrees....but someone had to get the wickets i guess!

Poor oap Udal,he gets amazing figures of 4-14 and people are still on his back ,face it Johno, Udal is better than Blackwell . Nah,not really :wink: Maybe though Udal has been pretending to be shit all along just in case something like this happened,he was lulling the Indians into a false sense of security so they wouldn't take him seriously,and then he strikes :) .
Not to worry though because by the summer the KOS will be back and Udal will be forgotten about.

Highlights on Sky now,i'm going home to watch :beers:

Matthew Hoggard admitted: "I'm the only guy that's sad enough to have Johnny Cash on his iPod. We had a rousing rendition and that seemed to do the trick."

Ive got the Cashmeister on my mp3 player.  8)

Did anyone hear Flintoff singing it whilst Sky Sports was showing the scorecard?, all you could hear was Freddie singing "I fell into a burning ring if fire, i went down down down and the flames went higher!"  :mrgreen:

Jones was singing it, it was picked by the stump mic/camara!

He must have devoloped a strong Lancastrian accent then.

 Brilliant :D ,Fred has been great though,i really thought he would be taking too much on and his form would suffer,but if anything he's played even better and led the team by example.The bloke is a legend,he's coming home to see his new baby for a few days now,bless him :)

cant believe we actually won for once!  :D

It was a shit perfomance though ,Flintoff was shit,Strauss was Shit, Udal was really shit.

indeed  :mrgreen:

il post some pics when i get back.

Was a goodn though.

Good man.  :beers:

 :soapy tit wank:
Yeah Rich you were wrong :face: To be fair to you though i don't think the rest of us thought we stood much of a chance,except the rest of us understood that we might lose because of the fact that we were missing four first teamers,not just because we're shit.Anyway HA HA you were wrong :wink:  :D  Now on to the ODIs.

Nice to see Collingwood had our highest average of 68.00 in this Test series, im pretty sure Rich said earlier in the series that he shouldnt be playing.  :mrgreen:

Stick the knife in a bit further Spud :) I'm sure Rich doesn't mind,bet he was glad to be wrong :)
Hopefully he predicts we'll lose the ODI series 7-0,we might win it then :wink:

I think we'll lose the ODI series 5-2.

I'm pretty sure we'll lose too,the Indians play so much of the fucking stuff they should be good at it :-))( At least we don't have to worry about the ICC Champions trophy qualification now :wink:

how was i wrong? i never said we wouldn't win?  :?  :D i just said that the performance in the 2nd test was a disgrace!  :soapy tit wank:

i was actually just about to do that but after reading that ill plump for 6-1 to india  :mrgreen:

brilliant performance ... well surprised we did it !!

well that was a bit good wernt it

good to see jimmy a do will in his first game back