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Title: Bristol Girls Post by: magicroundabout on Thursday, March 2, 2006, 13:35:31 A Bristol girl goes to the council to register for child benefit. How many
children?" asks the council worker. "10" replies the Bristol girl "10?!" says the council worker. "What are their names?" "Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne and Wayne" "Doesn't that get confusing?" "Naah..." says the Bristol girl "its great because if they are out playing in the gurt street I just haves to shout "WAAYNE, YER DINNER'S READY!", or "WAAYNE GO TO BED NOW!, and they all do it..." "What if you want to speak to one individually?" says the perturbed council worker. "Oh, that's easy," says the Bristol girl... "I just uses their surnames" A Bristol girl walks into the local dry cleaners. She places a garment on the counter. "I'll be back tomorrow afternoon to pick up my dress."she says. "Come again?" says the clerk, cupping his ear. "No" she replies. "This time it's gurt mayonnaise." A Bristol Girl enters a sex shop & asks for a vibrator. The man says "Choose from our range on the wall." She says "I'll takes the gurt red one." The man replies "That's a fire extinguisher madam." A Bristol girl is involved in a nasty car crash and is trapped and bleeding. The paramedics soon arrive on site. Medic: "It's OK I'm a paramedic and I'm going to ask you some questions?" Girl: "OK" Medic: "What's your name?" Girl: "Sharon." Medic: "OK Sharon, is this your car?" Sharon: "Yes." Medic: "Where are you bleeding from?" Sharon: " 'artcliffe, mate." A Bristol girl was driving down the M32 when her car phone rang. It was her boyfriend, urgently warning her, "Alright ar Sharon? I just heard on the gurt news that there's a car goings the wrong way on the gurt M32. Please be careful!" "It's not just one car!" said the Bristol girl, "There's gurt hundreds of them!" Another Bristol girl was involved in a serious crash; There's blood everywhere. The paramedics arrive and drag the girl out of the car till she's lying flat out on the floor. Medic: "OK, I'm going to check if you're concussed." Sharon: "Ok." Medic: "How many fingers am I putting up?" Sharon: "Oh my god I'm gurt paralysed from the waist down!" A Bristol girl and an Irish guy are in a bar when the Bristol girl notices something strange about the wellies the Irish guy is wearing. She says, "yer, scuse I mate, I aint being gurt funny or nuffink, but why dooz one of your wellies 'ave an L on it and the uva gurt one's got an R on it?" So the Irish guy smiles,puts down his glass of Guinness and replies, "Well,oim a little bit tick you see. The one wit the R on it is for me roight foot and the one wit the L is for me Leftfoot" "Blimey",exclaims the Bristol girl, "So THATS why my gurt knickers 'ave got C&A on them." Title: Bristol Girls Post by: Asher on Thursday, March 2, 2006, 13:38:40 quality magic
Title: Bristol Girls Post by: oxford_fan on Thursday, March 2, 2006, 14:30:29 i like the last one :D
Title: Bristol Girls Post by: Piemonte on Thursday, March 2, 2006, 15:07:20 :Ride On Fatbury's Lovestick:
some classics in there. I'm liking the regular use of the word "gurt" too :D Title: Bristol Girls Post by: my-velocity on Thursday, March 2, 2006, 15:09:32 Quote from: "oxford_fan" i like the last one :D Yep very funny :D Title: Bristol Girls Post by: Sade on Thursday, March 2, 2006, 17:29:35 :oops: I say gurt now and again without realising it. Not often though.
I like those jokes alot :D Rather a bristol girl used than a swindon girl! Title: Bristol Girls Post by: Mexicano Rojo on Thursday, March 2, 2006, 17:38:21 what the fuck is gurt?
Title: Bristol Girls Post by: Sade on Thursday, March 2, 2006, 17:45:04 Gurt is another word for big :D
Title: Bristol Girls Post by: Spud on Thursday, March 2, 2006, 17:45:40 Quote from: "Sade" Gurt is another word for big :D Pfffffffft fucking Worzels!. Title: Bristol Girls Post by: Sade on Thursday, March 2, 2006, 17:49:20 It twas a guuuurt big thing it wer. I seen it with my own eyes I did.
Title: Bristol Girls Post by: Bedford Red on Thursday, March 2, 2006, 20:23:48 Quote from: "oxford_fan" i like the last one :D Same here :mrgreen: Title: Bristol Girls Post by: Johno on Thursday, March 2, 2006, 20:56:51 :Ride On Fatbury's Lovestick: legend.
Title: Bristol Girls Post by: reeves4england on Thursday, March 2, 2006, 21:07:30 I like the last one...second one was funny too :mrgreen:
Title: Re: Bristol Girls Post by: reeves4england on Thursday, March 2, 2006, 21:17:46 I told the C&A one to a girl from Bristol. She didnt get it 8)
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