Saxondale
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« Reply #315 on: Thursday, August 25, 2011, 17:27:30 » |
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Q: Do you want to hear a joke about
constipation and dementia?
A: Well tough shit, I've forgotten it.
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Never knowingly overstated.
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leefer
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« Reply #316 on: Thursday, August 25, 2011, 18:56:38 » |
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Saxondale
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Posts: 6390
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« Reply #317 on: Thursday, August 25, 2011, 19:12:19 » |
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Never knowingly overstated.
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ibelieveinmrreeves
Should've gone to Specsavers
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Posts: 3857
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« Reply #318 on: Thursday, August 25, 2011, 19:34:15 » |
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Schroedinger's cat walks into a bar ... and doesn't.
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Even men with steel hearts love to see a dog on the pitch.
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SuggWillSugg MBE
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Posts: 2938
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« Reply #319 on: Thursday, August 25, 2011, 19:44:52 » |
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What do you call a Chinese man driving a plane?
A Pilot you racist's!
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Only Me
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Posts: 1202
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« Reply #320 on: Thursday, August 25, 2011, 20:09:05 » |
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I was in a cab the other day and the driver said "I love my job, I'm my own boss and nobody tells me what to do"
I said "Left here mate"
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Only Me
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Posts: 1202
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« Reply #321 on: Thursday, August 25, 2011, 20:10:19 » |
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An autopsy has revealed that the newly wed man who was eaten by a shark didn't suffer.
He was only married for 7 days.
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reeves4england
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Posts: 15987
We'll never die!
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« Reply #322 on: Thursday, August 25, 2011, 20:16:04 » |
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I was in a cab the other day and the driver said "I love my job, I'm my own boss and nobody tells me what to do"
I said "Left here mate"
 Jimmy Carr? |
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Only Me
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Posts: 1202
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« Reply #323 on: Thursday, August 25, 2011, 20:37:13 » |
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Jimmy Carr? Don't know. It was just a text I received. |
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reeves4england
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Posts: 15987
We'll never die!
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« Reply #324 on: Thursday, August 25, 2011, 20:44:06 » |
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Don't know. It was just a text I received.
Fair enough. Sure I've heard it before, and it sounds a lot like one of his! |
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SuggWillSugg MBE
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« Reply #325 on: Thursday, August 25, 2011, 20:45:48 » |
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Fair enough. Sure I've heard it before, and it sounds a lot like one of his!
It is. I think he might have done it at the Oasis? But it is 100% one of Jimmy Carr's. |
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jutty274
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« Reply #326 on: Thursday, August 25, 2011, 21:40:56 » |
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I have been married to my wife for 11 and a half years. Having sex with just one person for 11 and a half years is pure dedication.
I don't know how she does it.
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walrus
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« Reply #327 on: Friday, August 26, 2011, 11:58:09 » |
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"Dear, why are there broken condoms on our couch?"
"Dave...Would you please call our children by their names."
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Only Me
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Posts: 1202
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« Reply #328 on: Friday, August 26, 2011, 18:36:25 » |
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Those coloured chaps can run for miles with a plasma TV under their arms, but when they have to walk 5 miles to get water, its moan moan fkin moan
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Honky McCracker
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Posts: 89
can I see your socks
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« Reply #329 on: Saturday, August 27, 2011, 10:00:36 » |
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Can I see ya socks?
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