reeves4england
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Posts: 15987
We'll never die!
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« Reply #180 on: Friday, February 11, 2011, 20:01:47 » |
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Saxondale
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Posts: 6390
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« Reply #181 on: Wednesday, February 16, 2011, 17:08:56 » |
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I know its not Friday but
How many Tory MPs does it take to change a lightbulb?
In the Big Society, you'll sit in the dark until a member of the public changes it
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Never knowingly overstated.
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herthab
TEF Travel
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Posts: 12020
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« Reply #182 on: Wednesday, February 16, 2011, 17:49:22 » |
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I know its not Friday but
How many Tory MPs does it take to change a lightbulb?
In the Big Society, you'll sit in the dark until a member of the public changes it
That's ok. That wasn't a joke. |
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It's All Good..............
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Peter Venkman
We don't need no stinking badges.
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Posts: 59383
Things can only get better
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« Reply #183 on: Wednesday, February 16, 2011, 18:00:45 » |
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1. There's more than one way to skin a cat.
2. A cat has nine lives.
During an experiment to find out if number 1 is true, I proved that number 2 is false.
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Only a fool does not know when to hold his tongue.
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nochee
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« Reply #184 on: Wednesday, February 16, 2011, 21:36:37 » |
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I turned to her, ran my hand up her thigh across her belly & down her legs. Then I turned back to watch TV she asks me "Why did you stop?" "Found remote!" I replied.
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Super Jan fjortoft
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Posts: 106
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« Reply #185 on: Thursday, February 17, 2011, 09:18:59 » |
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My wife has just had our first child, after watching the birth I realised that sex with the missus is going to be like going back to the local after its been burnt to the ground.
You know it’s been rebuilt but its never quite going to be the same.
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I told you i was ill!
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london_red
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Posts: 2142
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« Reply #186 on: Thursday, February 17, 2011, 09:33:51 » |
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I met two girls down the pub last night who had strong Cardiff accents.
I said, "I know that accent. You two ladies are from Scotland, aren't you?"
"Wales, you fucking idiot," one of them replied.
"Sorry," I said, "You two whales are from Scotland, aren't you?"
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Bob's Orange
Has brain escape barriers
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Posts: 28545
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« Reply #187 on: Thursday, February 17, 2011, 21:35:05 » |
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The midget fortune teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
patient: Doctor, doctor, I think I need my ears syringed.
doctor: How come?
patient: Tried that, and used cotton buds as well.
"Doctor, doctor, I keep singing 'The Green Green Grass Of Home'."
"That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome."
"Tom Jones Syndrome? Is that common?"
"It's not unusual."
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we've been to Aberdeen, we hate the Hibs, they make us spew up, so make some noise,
the gorgie boys, for Hearts in Europe.
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Doore
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« Reply #188 on: Friday, February 18, 2011, 01:15:16 » |
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I bought Belinda Carlisle's car on ebay. It's fucking awful - every now and then it falls apart.
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Saxondale
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Posts: 6390
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« Reply #189 on: Friday, February 18, 2011, 02:56:35 » |
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I think you'll find that was Bonnie Tylers car.
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Never knowingly overstated.
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yeo
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Posts: 3651
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« Reply #190 on: Friday, February 18, 2011, 05:34:19 » |
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haha! I dont really like jokes,but I do like people getting jokes wrong so im pleased to have been bored enough to click on this thread.
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W56196272
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Samdy Gray
Dirty sneaky traitor weasel
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Posts: 27137
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« Reply #191 on: Friday, February 18, 2011, 08:06:48 » |
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Haha. Nice one Billy  |
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Ginginho
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Posts: 6856
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« Reply #192 on: Friday, February 18, 2011, 08:11:45 » |
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I bought Belinda Carlisle's car on ebay.
Ooh Billy, do you know what that's worth!? |
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Bewster
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Posts: 4004
We fucking love you Gumbo!
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« Reply #193 on: Friday, February 18, 2011, 11:58:31 » |
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After months of depression the wife and I decided to end it all my commiting suicide. However, after she killed herself I strangely felt a lot better so thought "fuck it.....I'll soldier on".
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Sippo
Living in the 80s
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Posts: 15585
I ain't gettin on no plane fool
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« Reply #194 on: Friday, February 18, 2011, 12:07:25 » |
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Just for Fred:
What do you call an epileptic in a lettuce patch?
A seizure salad...
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If my calculations are correct, when this baby hits 88 miles per hour, you're gonna see some serious shit...
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