Ginginho
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« Reply #600 on: Thursday, April 25, 2013, 14:51:49 » |
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I went to the pub with my 18 year old girlfriend last night and people started shouting "PAEDO!" at me.
It really put a dampener on our 10 year anniversary.
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Bob's Orange
Has brain escape barriers
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« Reply #601 on: Wednesday, May 8, 2013, 11:41:08 » |
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First Thatcher dies and now Fergie retires. Somewhere out there there's a Scouser with a magic lamp and one wish left...
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we've been to Aberdeen, we hate the Hibs, they make us spew up, so make some noise,
the gorgie boys, for Hearts in Europe.
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Honkytonk
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Posts: 4413
Whoo Whoo!
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« Reply #602 on: Wednesday, May 8, 2013, 14:07:57 » |
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Ferguson's retirement has upset quite a few of his backroom staff. Howard Webb was said to be in tears...
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« Last Edit: Wednesday, May 8, 2013, 14:11:31 by Honkytonk »
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Ginginho
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« Reply #603 on: Saturday, July 13, 2013, 08:17:08 » |
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A Roman walks into a bar, sticks two fingers up to the barman and says, "Five beers please."
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Peter Venkman
We don't need no stinking badges.
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Things can only get better
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« Reply #604 on: Saturday, July 13, 2013, 08:21:32 » |
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My PC takes such a long time to shut down I've decided to call it Nelson Mandela.
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Only a fool does not know when to hold his tongue.
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Peter Venkman
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« Reply #605 on: Saturday, July 13, 2013, 11:41:33 » |
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A Swindon and an Oxford fan get into a nasty car accident on the A420. Both vehicles are really wrecked, but amazingly neither of them are hurt.
After they crawl out of their cars, the Oxford fan says, "So you're a Swindon fan, that's interesting. I'm an Oxford fan... Wow! Just look at our cars. There's nothing left, but fortunately we are unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace the rest of our days."
The Swindon fan replied,"Totally agree - this must be a sign from God!" The Swindon fan went on, "And look at this - here's another miracle. My car is completely demolished but this bottle of whisky didn't break. Surely God wants us to drink it, to celebrate the fact we are alive and kicking?"
He hands the bottle to the Oxford fan who nods his head in agreement, opens it and takes several big swigs from the bottle, then hands it back to the Swindon fan. The Swindon fan takes the bottle, immediately puts the cap back on, and hands back to the Oxford fan. The Oxford fan asks, "Aren't you having any?" The Swindon fan replies, "Nah...I think I'll just wait for the police......"
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Only a fool does not know when to hold his tongue.
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Ginginho
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« Reply #606 on: Thursday, July 25, 2013, 15:58:26 » |
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Newcastle United have announced that Papiss Cisse has changed his mind and will wear the club's Wonga branded kit.
"I'll always give 4500% to the club" said Cisse.
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Crispy
Pink Jumper For Goalpost
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« Reply #607 on: Friday, July 26, 2013, 07:47:24 » |
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I was talking to an old friend of mine last night telling him of how last week I stopped a woman getting raped. "Wow!" He said, "What did you do? scare the man off?" he then asked. His face dropped when I replied "No, mate, I just stopped chasing her, she was too bloody quick!"
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They've got muslamic rayguns, muslamic rayguns..
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Peter Venkman
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« Reply #608 on: Sunday, July 28, 2013, 09:32:47 » |
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Police have confirmed a man has been arrested in Yeovil after falling into a combine harvester whilst trying to steal it.
Hes due to be bailed tomorrow.
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Only a fool does not know when to hold his tongue.
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Samdy Gray
Dirty sneaky traitor weasel
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« Reply #609 on: Sunday, July 28, 2013, 09:38:40 » |
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Skiverton been out on the piss again then?
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leefer
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« Reply #610 on: Sunday, July 28, 2013, 10:18:43 » |
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Police have confirmed a man has been arrested in Yeovil after falling into a combine harvester whilst trying to steal it.
Hes due to be bailed tomorrow.
Ace. |
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Peter Venkman
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« Reply #611 on: Friday, August 9, 2013, 08:57:29 » |
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Wayne Rooney has asked for a transfer and David Moyes has asked for it to be put in writing.
That puts an end to that transfer saga then.
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Only a fool does not know when to hold his tongue.
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Batch
Not a Batch
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Posts: 55381
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« Reply #612 on: Friday, August 9, 2013, 09:17:52 » |
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soapy tit wank. Thought I'd popped into the transfer rumours thread until the penny dropped on that one!
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Peter Venkman
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« Reply #613 on: Friday, August 9, 2013, 11:16:02 » |
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soapy tit wank. Thought I'd popped into the transfer rumours thread until the penny dropped on that one!
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Only a fool does not know when to hold his tongue.
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Peter Venkman
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« Reply #614 on: Friday, August 9, 2013, 16:37:34 » |
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"Formed in 1977 in Coventry, England, they are an English 2 Tone ska revival band whose music combines a steady rock beat with punk attitude. Jerry Dammers and his bandmates achieved fame and notoriety with classics like 'Ghost Town' and 'Too Much Too Young".
"Well, that's true", I said to the waiter. "But it's not what I meant when I asked you to tell me about the specials".
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