Samdy Gray
Dirty sneaky traitor weasel
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Posts: 27137
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« Reply #420 on: Wednesday, January 25, 2012, 12:42:38 » |
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You thought the other thing? Shame on you.
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Flashheart
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« Reply #421 on: Wednesday, January 25, 2012, 12:48:30 » |
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That domain has been registered
Bet they have been sitting on it waiting for the joke to do the rounds.
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Bewster
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Posts: 4004
We fucking love you Gumbo!
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« Reply #422 on: Wednesday, January 25, 2012, 14:23:06 » |
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My new girlfriend has told me that I will have to wait six months before she will suck my cock. I told her I fully understand her decison, respect her for it and will give her a call nearer the time.
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Bosey
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Posts: 357
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« Reply #423 on: Wednesday, January 25, 2012, 22:32:16 » |
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Just been on bigbustycoons.com
Gotta love those businessmen and their large buses.
www.penisland.netCome on, we've all got one.. |
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nochee
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« Reply #425 on: Thursday, January 26, 2012, 07:43:42 » |
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What's easier to pick up the heavier it gets? Women
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fatbasher
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« Reply #426 on: Thursday, January 26, 2012, 07:45:23 » |
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God asks Messi, "What do you believe?" He says, "I believe in hard work, and in staying true to family and friends.” God can't help but see the goodness of Messi and offers him a seat to his left. Then God turns to Ronaldo and asks, "What do you believe?" He says, "I believe in your total goodness, love and generosity.” God is greatly moved by Ronaldo’s eloquence, and offers him a seat to his right. Finally, God turns to Di Canio: "And you, Paolo, what do you believe?" Di Canio replies, "I believe you're in my seat."
An old one excellently re-worked to bring us up to date. Liked it very much. |
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fatbasher
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« Reply #427 on: Thursday, January 26, 2012, 08:05:21 » |
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God asks Messi, "What do you believe?" He says, "I believe in hard work, and in staying true to family and friends.” God can't help but see the goodness of Messi and offers him a seat to his left. Then God turns to Ronaldo and asks, "What do you believe?" He says, "I believe in your total goodness, love and generosity.” God is greatly moved by Ronaldo’s eloquence, and offers him a seat to his right. Finally, God turns to Di Canio: "And you, Paolo, what do you believe?" Di Canio replies, "I believe you're in my seat."
Actually at this rate that will be etched for all to under a bronze bust of the man in the main reception at a 100,000 all seater STFC stadium in the future. |
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Swindon Please Win
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Posts: 1939
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« Reply #428 on: Thursday, January 26, 2012, 16:30:56 » |
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Liverpool sign a new striker from Nigeria. On the first day of training Kenny Dalglish picks up a ball & says "Ball". Then he does a kicking motion & says "Kick". Then he points to the goal & says "Goal - Understand? KICK, BALL, GOAL . . . GOOOAAL!" and the Nigerian says 'Excuse me Mr Dalglish , but I speak perfectly good English' Dalglish says "Sit down son, I'm talking to Andy Carroll
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dave_bambers_right_sock
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Posts: 866
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« Reply #429 on: Thursday, January 26, 2012, 19:56:06 » |
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I have this condition...
When I can't sleep all I want to do is eat..
...it's called Insom-nom-nom-nom-nia
NEWSFLASH: Primark in Liverpool has reportedly sold 30,000 shell suits this morning, as scousers prepare for their day out in the capital next month !!
In the cemetery I saw 4 men carrying a coffin around and around,
3 hrs later I saw the same men with the same coffin & I thought 2 myself.........................................they've lost the fuckin plot
Latest news from the African Nations Cup : 6 stone 2 pounds Ugandan striker Bobo Umfoofoo was visibly upset during last nights game after chants from the Somalian crowd of "You fat bastard" and "Who ate all the flies
A bloke starts his new job at the zoo and is given three tasks. First is
to clear the exotic fish pool of weeds.
As he does this a huge fish jumps out and bites him. To show who is
boss, he beats it to death with a spade.
Realizing his employer won't be best pleased he disposes
of the fish by feeding it to the lions, as lions will eat anything.
Moving on to the second job of clearing out the Chimp house, he
is attacked by the chimps who pelt him with coconuts. He
swipes at two chimps with a spade killing them both. What can he do?
Feed them to the lions, he says to himself, because lions eat
anything.. He hurls the corpses into the lion enclosure.
He moves on to the last job which is to collect honey from the South
American Bees. As soon as he starts he is attacked by the bees. He
grabs the spade and smashes the bees to a pulp. By now he knows what
to do and shovels them into the lions cage because lions eat anything.
Later that day a new lion arrives at the zoo. He wanders up to another
lion and says "What's the food like here?"
The lions say: "Absolutely brilliant, today we had Fish and
Chimps with Mushy Bees
I don't know why everyone gets so grossed out by genetically modified food.The leg of salmon I had for lunch was delicious...
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suttonred
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Posts: 12510
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« Reply #430 on: Thursday, January 26, 2012, 22:38:06 » |
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Some good ones there mr sock.
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oxford_fan
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Posts: 6764
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« Reply #431 on: Thursday, January 26, 2012, 23:15:14 » |
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This one's been making me laugh since Christmas day.....
Why did the mechanic go to sleep under a car?
He wanted to wake up oily in the morning.
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dave_bambers_right_sock
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Posts: 866
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« Reply #432 on: Friday, January 27, 2012, 12:13:29 » |
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Impossibilities in the world
1. You can't count your hair.
2. You can't wash your eyes with soap.
3. You can't breathe when your tongue is out.
Put your tongue back in, you look stupid!
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ST_INC
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Posts: 113
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« Reply #433 on: Friday, January 27, 2012, 18:19:47 » |
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Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because it was shoved inside Anthony Worrall Thompsons coat.
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Peter Venkman
We don't need no stinking badges.
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Posts: 59383
Things can only get better
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« Reply #434 on: Tuesday, January 31, 2012, 17:09:00 » |
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In the Sun they are offering tickets for football matches for £9.50.
So I sent off £9.50 for an Oxford game
Due to a mailing error, they accepted my offer and I now own the club.
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Only a fool does not know when to hold his tongue.
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