The confessions (a.k.a the sexual adventures of Audrey & EldeneRed) thread

[dave_bambers_right_sock]

I cried when the dog in Marley & Me died.

Glad nobody here knows me.

I buried the dog from Marley and me in the garden...........right next to mother

[4D]

I quite enjoyed some of last seasons matches! Do I win a prize?

[@MacPhlea]

I like the musical 'Chicago'

[slinky]

That is gold. Does she still not know about it?

Nope! We split up a year or so later so she never will know about it.

[Panda Paws]

This has the makings of an absolutely belting thread.

[Ginginho]

Once on a pub crawl in Wroughton, I was absolutely wankered.
Went for a piss, farted and followed through.
I took my boxers off and threw them out of the toilet window onto the street outside.

[Ginginho]

This has the makings of an absolutely belting thread.

Indeed.
I want DMR to get involved, I bet he's got some fucking corkers.

Shame flammableBen and Mex aren't around at the moment as i'm sure they'd make this thread very interesting

[Honky McCracker]

I once had a wank in a mates sock after a night out and put it in one of his draws in the morning.

[Gethimout]

Once on a pub crawl in Wroughton, I was absolutely wankered.
Went for a piss, farted and followed through.
I took my boxers off and threw them out of the toilet window onto the street outside.

Haha - i've done this as well! Was mortified. Luckily my dad lived in town so i gave him a ring, had a quick shower, borrowed some of his boxers and went back out! DONE!

[Bewster]

I once round to an girlfriends house to dump her, she open the door dressed only in her dressing gown. So I thought "ah why not" - I tied her up, gave her a good fucking, jizzed on her face and then gave her the bad news.

I know its wrong but it still makes me smile. Apart from that I am a nice bloke, really.

[dave_bambers_right_sock]

On a seaside holiday, lobbing bread on the roof of the caravan next to ours at stupid O' clock then pissing with laughter at the noise of the gulls getting an early Breakfast

[Miles Mayhem]

I once had a shit in a urinal at primary school as all the loos were occupied. They had to close the toilets for the rest of the day.

so was this archway or marling?

[dave_bambers_right_sock]

Have we any American coach drivers on TEF that want's to own up to this little beauty.

http://www.footballforums.net/forums/showthread.php/122186-Greyhound-Takes-Dump-On-Motorway

[Trashbat?]

When I was 17 I went on Holiday with mates to Magaluf, one night we were hammered in a bar and got a bit silly we went into the girls toilets and stole a couple of sanny towel bins and smuggled them out, in our infinate wisdom we threw them at each other. The next morning we woke up in the room with used sanitary towels and tampons all over the floor and walls and one of my mates had one slapped to his face. We cleaned the room up as best we can, although I can say that with a banging hangover and such a gory sight I gagged and almost threw up multiple times.

After the clean up job we decided Breakfast was in order, as we went down to the bar to grab a bite to eat we walked by the pool which was strangely very empty...To my horror one of my mates had dumped the contents of another bin into the pool the night before, Disgusting but to this day I wish I had my camera with me.

[ibelieveinmrreeves]

I once round to an girlfriends house to dump her, she open the door dressed only in her dressing gown. So I thought "ah why not" - I tied her up, gave her a good fucking, jizzed on her face and then gave her the bad news.

I know its wrong but it still makes me smile. Apart from that I am a nice bloke, really.

 

I regularly steal confectionery from work (just as well it's my last week).