Honky McCracker
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Posts: 89
can I see your socks
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« Reply #255 on: Tuesday, October 12, 2010, 13:49:21 » |
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How much salad dressing does Snoop Dogg use?
Just a Drizzle my Nizzle.
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Can I see ya socks?
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Bogus Dave
Ate my own dick
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Posts: 16354
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« Reply #256 on: Tuesday, October 12, 2010, 13:50:46 » |
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I'm steve jobs, and windows 7 was my idea
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Things get better but they never get good
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jutty274
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Posts: 1863
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« Reply #257 on: Tuesday, October 12, 2010, 20:14:04 » |
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One of the Chilean Miners has tried to commit suicide, supposedly he forgot to clock in.
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leefer
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Posts: 12851
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« Reply #258 on: Monday, October 18, 2010, 18:41:33 » |
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Found a genie in a lamp today...he granted me just one wish. I want to live forever i asked....sorry said the genie that is the only wish i cannot grant you...ok i say then i want to live to see Oxford Utd win the premiership...............you crafty bastard says the genie.
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mexico red
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Posts: 11755
Demasiado no es demasiado
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« Reply #259 on: Monday, October 18, 2010, 21:30:11 » |
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courtesy of jimmy carr last night
how do you make a gay man shag a woman
shit in her cunt.
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Peter Venkman
We don't need no stinking badges.
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Posts: 59478
Things can only get better
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« Reply #260 on: Tuesday, October 19, 2010, 08:00:17 » |
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Just had my water bill, £172.75.
Fuck that, I'm giving Oxfam a ring, they can supply a whole village for just £2 a month!
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Only a fool does not know when to hold his tongue.
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jayohaitchenn
Wielder of the BANHAMMER
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Posts: 12534
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« Reply #261 on: Tuesday, October 19, 2010, 09:06:09 » |
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How do you make a queer fuck a woman?
Shit in her cunt.
Keep up Mex, page 3 of this very thread.
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Bob's Orange
Has brain escape barriers
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Posts: 28593
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« Reply #262 on: Friday, October 29, 2010, 16:01:26 » |
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Just got a lifetime ban from b&q. Some guy in an orange suit came up to me and asked if I wanted decking. So I got the first punch in and that was that.
What do you call a judge with no thumbs?
Justice fingers.
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we've been to Aberdeen, we hate the Hibs, they make us spew up, so make some noise, the gorgie boys, for Hearts in Europe.
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jutty274
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Posts: 1863
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« Reply #263 on: Saturday, October 30, 2010, 08:38:09 » |
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I saw that Take That are playing at Anfield in March.
I've got £10 on them winning 3-1.
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Bogus Dave
Ate my own dick
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Posts: 16354
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« Reply #264 on: Saturday, October 30, 2010, 09:42:53 » |
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How many indie kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Its a pretty obscure number, you've probably never heard of it.
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Things get better but they never get good
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Processed Beats
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Posts: 2958
I drop beats from this processed meat.
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« Reply #265 on: Saturday, October 30, 2010, 20:52:16 » |
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I've finally decided what I'm doing for Halloween. I'm out trick or treating around Manchester road and I'm gonna scare the shit out of anyone who answers the door.I'm dressing up as an Immigration Officer.
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Ardiles
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Posts: 11528
Stirlingshire Reds
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« Reply #266 on: Saturday, October 30, 2010, 20:56:54 » |
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Shamelessly nicked from BBC Radio 5 this morning.
It's early October. There's a young kid in Liverpool sitting at the side of the road asking for a penny for the Guy.
Passer by: It's a little early for that, don't you think?
Kid: You're joking, aren't you? My big brother's out carol singing.
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tans
You spin me right round baby right round
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Posts: 25137
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« Reply #267 on: Sunday, October 31, 2010, 10:27:27 » |
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I've finally decided what I'm doing for Halloween. I'm out trick or treating around Manchester road and I'm gonna scare the shit out of anyone who answers the door.I'm dressing up as an Immigration Officer.
Are you crispy in disguise? Vice squad is another one
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Saxondale
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Posts: 6392
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« Reply #268 on: Thursday, November 4, 2010, 16:51:19 » |
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I texted my boss, "What's the difference between this morning and your daughter?" He answered, "I don't know." I replied, "I'm not coming in this morning."
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Never knowingly overstated.
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nevillew
Tripping the light puntastic
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Posts: 4156
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« Reply #269 on: Friday, November 5, 2010, 08:14:31 » |
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(from Radio this morning)
There was a knock on the door last night, I opened it and a bloke walked in, went to my fridge and took out the milk, butter and cheese. How dairy !
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Paolo Di Canio, it's Paolo Di Canio
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