Thetownend.com

Bit of a weak justification for a thread, but as this place is quiet these days it'll do. Yesterday I found myself humming the Anthony McNamee song, and my mind wandered to imagining exactly how an entire team of 5'6 wingers who are neat on the ball but allergic to winning it might do in reality (terribly).

The obvious next step from that to me is to wonder which STFC player past or present would do the best job of playing as a team with ten clones. It'd need to be someone well rounded and hard working, but with a good shot of playing as a team - there's little doubt that a team of Andy Gurneys would fill the former requirements but devolve into needless violence the first time there was a free kick near the box to fight over.

Anyone want to make a case?

Miglioranzi. It’d also be terribly difficult to sing

A team of Gurney’s would not only end up in loads of fights, but once half the team is sent off for arguing over who should take the free kick, one of the remainder would just use that opportunity to demonstrate how hard they could kick the ball at one of the stands. They’d never score.

I think a team of Paul Caddises (Caddi?) would be pretty handy.

I thought it was established as fact that we all dream of a team of Alan Reeves.

ok it may have been slightly tongue in cheek at the time.

sorry of on theme, it's getting to that time of year again to be living in a Finney wonderland. Can't hear that song without those lyrics popping in.

Also, did anyone else get glared at/slapped by their other half watching Strictly this week (I think) ... just added the necessary as someone was dancing to 'I can't help falling in love with you'

the problem is we'd be brilliant for 8 games a season, then concede the rest due to being unable to form a team.

A team of Dave Bambers. 

A big strong goalkeeper to catch & roll the ball out and then a methodical progression up the pitch via a succession of dubious free kicks awarded for slightly apologetic stumbles whenever an opposition player came within 5 feet.

We could be the first team to win the league scoring every goal via the penalty spot.

You’ll wake DV from his slumber, careful.

John Moncur.  I'm not sure how a team of midfield generals would really operate in practice, but it would be interesting to find out.  And JM was awesome.

Shaun Taylor. Would keep them out at one end and score a few at the other.
Midfield might have to be bypassed though.

Nestor Lorenzo.

Fullbacks tend to be the most versatile, jack-of-all-trades type players. I'm going with Nicky Summerbee.

I'm going for Fodders. We'd have a decent keeper to start with and he's pretty good with his feet too. At 6'1 he has good height to play at the back!

On the team-of-keepers thing, I was always very impressed with Brezovan's shot power and accuracy when he was warming up Phil Smith... he's even taller too. Not sure about his positional awareness on field though.

Gareth whalley

Glenn Hoddle.

Comfortable at the back, assured in midfield and knows where the goal is.

Darren Bullock

Steve McMahon tried to build a team of Steve McMahon clones...

Shaun Taylor, no contest for me, give 100% for 100% of the time.

Good shout Glenn also played in goal for Spurs on at least 1 occasion.

I'm going for Maurice Owen

Antione Van Der Linden

A defender who could be a striker as well, according to Kingy anyway

"The Van Der Linden Option" - Robert Ludlum's great unpublished magnum opus

Or the most niche episode of Big Bang Theory ever

Probably a team of Alan McCormacks  or Tommy Mooneys

That's definitely a goer!

Not a big fan of hair then?

Don't think you can trump Glen Hoddle to be honest. Good shout that.

Maurice Owen fought with Orde Wingate's Chindits in Burma against the Japanese in the jungle.

Nearest Glenn got was having it written on his shirt, and he cleared off at the earliest opportunity. Maurice had a couple of chances to move on but preferred to stay at STFC... saying this..
 
"I would have liked to play in the First Division, I suppose, but not enough to make me move. To be honest, I was so happy at Swindon. They were a good club and I was among good friends. It was a joy to go to the County Ground every day."

Hoddle was on a fast track to the England manager job (however ill-fated that  - turned out in the end.)  In fact, he was appointed as England manager less than 3 years after leaving the County Ground.  He was never going to hang around.

We were a stepping stone - but he did at least have the decency to get us to the Premier League before he left.  I never bought in to 'Judas' criticism.  He did a job - very successfully & stylishly - and then moved on.  And I'm still grateful to him for it.

I just think to have a cloned team, you need something more than just playing ability.  Maurice played mostly at CF, becoming our 4th highest scorer, could also play midfield, and in his later years CH, before captaining the 62/63 side from right back.

On retiring he then did a whole series of jobs around the CG.... he's to be seen on Boorman's Six Days to Saturday doling out the wages... on the pitch v Napoli, as trainer when the concrete is flying about, and he also did a stint as groundsman.

Flying back from Preston in 1963, were the club minted then?

Was my first thought, too. Ooh, err, John Moncur.

Kenny Stroud.

Paul Allen, C'mon!!!!

Brian "animal" Williams.

My great uncle Ernie was a Chindit in Burma.
He got blown up with 10 other blokes in a lorry and was the only survivor.
He went into severe shock and the medical staff had no idea who he was.
It was only when someone turned up from his home village a few months later, and recognized him wandering about the compound that they managed to get him home to recover.
And a few weeks later he was deemed fit enough and was sent back out there!
And got blown up again,less serious this time!
He eventually went on to live well into his 90's and died peacefully,sitting in a deckchair whilst waiting for a cup of tea on a warm afternoon in his daughter's garden.

My vote would be a team of Chris Kamaras

Hard as nails and knows where the net is


 

RIP Uncle Ernie.  What a story.

My grand dad fought in Burma as well (did a regiment from Swindon go or something?), although he seemed to have malaria for a lot of the time he was over there, no idea what he actually got up to as he refused to ever speak about it? Sadly got no where near his 90's although that might have been due to beer, ciggies, working inside the works or my nan!

My grandad was in Burma too, with the RAF though, not the Chindits. And then (via some brief home leave) joined in the final push on Berlin in 45 and the occupation afterwards. Also, like Horlock's granddad never really talked about the war, even to my Dad and Aunt, although we do have a couple of photos from Burma, but nothing from Germany. And also like Horlock, nowhere near his 90s, and that was definitely down to booze, ciggies, work and dissolute living. And fucking good on him.

My vote would be for a team of Uncle Ernies, they don't make em like him any more!

Can I also join the Grandpa in Burma club?  Mine lasted until his late 80s, and took a contempt for all things Japanese with him to his grave.

Actually done some checking on the family tree as my dad was at one stage well into it, had a computer programme and everything (he discovered we have very boring ancestors originated in Berkshire, moved to Kingston Lisle and came to Swindon when the factory opened and never went anywhere, although we are related to Tony Hatch who wrote the music to Crossroads and Neighbours...) and actually my grand dad was also in the RAF when he went to Burma, although he spent the early years of the war in Oban in Scotland and allegedly, he fathered a child whilst there.

Cool! My granddad and yours may have fought side by side. And while your grandad moved to Swindon and then you moved to the Northwest (IIRC), mine settled and raised a family in the Northwest, whence I moved to Swindon. We're pretty much mirror images of each other :)

Amazing stories RE: Burma.

My Clone XI weoulld have to be Simon Ferry. Loved that guy.

He never mentioned any dodgy scousers....  ;)

My grandad wasn't a scouser. He could be a bit dodgy though .... :)

We all dream of a team of leapy cocks

Lecsinel Jean-François.

That is all.