Simon Pieman
Original Wanker
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Posts: 36319
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« Reply #735 on: Monday, September 26, 2016, 13:33:52 » |
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I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. No idea what he laced them with but I've been tripping all day.
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Mother Brown
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Posts: 1372
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« Reply #736 on: Monday, September 26, 2016, 19:26:02 » |
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Did you hear the one about the Dutchman, that used to wear inflatable shoes.
He popped his clogs.
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Kinky Tom
Snow Master Sandwich King.
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Posts: 8983
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« Reply #737 on: Monday, September 26, 2016, 19:33:51 » |
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Why can't Stevie Wonder see his friends?
He's married
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suttonred
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Posts: 12510
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« Reply #738 on: Monday, September 26, 2016, 20:05:13 » |
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Why can't Stevie Wonder see his friends?
He's married
I laughed like a drain, the wife glared at me when i told her  |
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Peter Venkman
Is totally unexceptional
Offline
Posts: 60505
Perfection is not attainable
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« Reply #739 on: Tuesday, September 27, 2016, 14:30:53 » |
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If 666 is considered as the evil number....
Then technically 25.8069758 is the root of all evil.
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Well, we know where we're goin'
But we don't know where we've been
And we know what we're knowin'
But we can't say what we've seen
And we're not little children
And we know what we want
And the future is certain
Give us time to work it out
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Nomoreheroes
The Moral Majority
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Posts: 14887
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« Reply #740 on: Thursday, October 6, 2016, 20:53:01 » |
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There are 10 types of people in the world. Those who understand binary and those who don't.
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You're my incurable malady. I miss the pleasure of your company.
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Peter Venkman
Is totally unexceptional
Offline
Posts: 60505
Perfection is not attainable
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« Reply #741 on: Friday, October 7, 2016, 08:56:52 » |
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This evil clown thing in Newcastle has got out of hand.
I even saw one handing out burgers to young children.
Why did the hipster burn his tongue?
He drank his cappuccino before it was cool.
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Well, we know where we're goin'
But we don't know where we've been
And we know what we're knowin'
But we can't say what we've seen
And we're not little children
And we know what we want
And the future is certain
Give us time to work it out
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Red Frog
Not a Dave
Offline
Posts: 9047
Pondlife
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« Reply #742 on: Friday, October 7, 2016, 09:10:13 » |
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A Roman walks into a bar. Barman says "Ave".
Roman holds up two fingers and says: "Five beers please."
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Tout ce que je sais de plus sūr ą propos de la moralité et des obligations des hommes, c'est au football que je le dois. - Albert Camus
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Peter Venkman
Is totally unexceptional
Offline
Posts: 60505
Perfection is not attainable
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« Reply #743 on: Friday, October 14, 2016, 09:24:05 » |
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The popularity of origami has increased tenfold.
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Well, we know where we're goin'
But we don't know where we've been
And we know what we're knowin'
But we can't say what we've seen
And we're not little children
And we know what we want
And the future is certain
Give us time to work it out
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Talk Talk
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« Reply #744 on: Thursday, October 20, 2016, 10:10:53 » |
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NSFW really...
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Ginginho
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Posts: 6897
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« Reply #745 on: Thursday, October 20, 2016, 10:13:44 » |
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Haha, ace |
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Talk Talk
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« Reply #746 on: Thursday, October 20, 2016, 10:19:27 » |
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My missus is pissed off with me again.
Last night while she was fast asleep, I gently removed her Tampax and replaced it with a party popper leaving the string hanging out.
I'm telling you! That woman's got no fucking sense of humour at all
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Panda Paws
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« Reply #747 on: Thursday, October 20, 2016, 10:28:17 » |
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Why did the hipster burn his tongue?
He drank his cappuccino before it was cool.
A hipster wouldn't be seen dead ordering a cappuccino. |
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suttonred
Offline
Posts: 12510
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« Reply #748 on: Sunday, October 30, 2016, 19:54:41 » |
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What's the wettest thing in the world?
Stevie Wonders toilet seat.
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Peter Venkman
Is totally unexceptional
Offline
Posts: 60505
Perfection is not attainable
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« Reply #749 on: Monday, October 31, 2016, 15:43:19 » |
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What's the wettest thing in the world?
Stevie Wonders toilet seat.
I just can't see that......trouble is neither can he |
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Well, we know where we're goin'
But we don't know where we've been
And we know what we're knowin'
But we can't say what we've seen
And we're not little children
And we know what we want
And the future is certain
Give us time to work it out
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